Being an American that was raised in California, I feel like I missed a lot of opportunities to learn about my familyās culture and origins. My family is mostly Scottish, British, and Irish, but there is also a mix of Norwegian, Icelandic, and a tiny bit French, in there too. When I traveled abroad, I met people who lived in Ireland, Norway, and France. They would approach me and speak the native languages of those places, and I would just try my best to explain that I didnāt speak any of those languages. The always looked disappointed that I didnāt know their language.
In school, as a teen, I was only offered the option of Spanish foreign language. I learned it rather well, and was able to walk around Spain and speak with the locals quite well. They always looked a little puzzled when they realized I spoke Spanish, in addition to English, despite not being Latina. I feel the need to explain that I was only given the opportunity to learn one other language besides English as a child. The local area in which I live is mostly populated by Mexican-Americans. Many of the cultural events in the area are focused on Mexican culture. As I child, many of my friends spoke Spanish, as well as English, but they were mixed race, and it made sense that they were raised with that opportunity to learn their native language.
I feel like I was denied opportunities to learn languages that were native to my ancestry. I feel like I missed opportunities to learn about the history and culture of my ancestors. It saddens me that every St. Patrickās Day, people want to wear all green, grab a plastic bowler hat, and discuss where to find green beer and local pubs. No one wants to go to mass on St. Patrickās day? No one wants to sit down at the dinner table for a pot roast with the family and talk? As a child, the mother that raised me wasnāt Catholic, so I wasnāt taken to mass, unless I went with my childhood friend. I was constantly asked, āwhy are you Catholic, if youāre not Mexican, like us?ā Nearly all of the other white children at my school were Baptist, or Lutheran. Some even told me they couldnāt hang out with me because I ādidnāt go to their churchā. So the friends I had were classmates that would stand near me at recess and talk to me. If I attended any events in town, they were typically related to their social groups. My friends were nice to me. They always included me; making sure I never felt like an outsider. They didnāt have to do that, but they did.
It was nice to visit Ireland, as an adult, and finally learn more about some of my ancestorsā culture. At the same time, I felt like I was an outsider. I wasnāt raised in a school that taught me to speak Irish. I use words like āAwesomeā, which made locals remind me, āisnāt a word we use in Ireland; at least not like that!ā I would pass people on the street that would tell me I looked like certain other Irish locals. That was interesting! I wish I could have met them! Iām left trying to piece together the family tree to determine which Irish families were part of my family tree. I returned to California to see large gatherings of Californians in local parks; celebrating birthdays and holidays. Those people have big families and theyāve preserved their culture. Their culture isnāt necessarily American, but they have kept that culture in their family, and they arenāt treated like an outsider in California. Sometimes I wonder if I should have stayed in Ireland, but then again, Iād still be an outsider there, too.
I kinda hate to be that guy, but if youāre American and you were raised in California, your culture is American. If your family maintains some traditional values that came with your ancestors when they arrived, thatās one thing, but your culture will never be anything more than Irish-American or Spanish-American or whatever else youād suffix with -American to clarify these differences that are inherent with a multicultural society.
My family originally came to the US from various parts of China. I had the opportunity to visit some of these places before and even met some extended relatives in Fuzhou, and it was interesting to see the places my ancestors once existed in. But I accept (and was keenly reminded at times by locals) that I was not āChineseā, I am American (or ABC at best). Chinese culture is no longer what it was when my ancestors lived there, dialects faded, places developed. I donāt feel a sense of loss or deprivation about it because I donāt have any ownership of it.
My culture is my own, I was glad to have the opportunity to actually talk about it and share it with others in China because you can spend so much time living in a ādefaultā you can overlook the things other people see as remarkable. I donāt feel bad having been forced to study Spanish in high school instead of Chinese; if anything that just further solidifies this shared experience of American culture.
Basically, donāt overthink it. If you want to start studying a language of your ancestry because it makes you happy, then thatās great. Like how random white weeaboos study Japanese, though, keep in mind that it wonāt make you any more you, it just bridges you to other living cultures that inherited those languages.
Why would it be worse to embrace and celebrate the culture you grew up with? It sounds quite rich, youāre making me want to visit California for the first time. Why does your culture need to be artificially related to your genetics? And what if, some years or decades in the future, youāll feel like youāve missed out on appreciating and celebrating the culture you grew up with because you rather focused on the culture of your distant cousins?
Actually my distant cousins are part German. I donāt share the same culture as them and they look down upon me because my blood type is O-. I canāt embrace the culture around me because Iām not Latina. It wouldnāt really make sense to appropriate the culture around me. Itās interesting. I appreciate it. I have learned a lot from it, but I want to learn more about the culture that comes from my own family.
I always find funny when people say āI come from a place with no culture, as opposed to X.ā
Uh, you do have a culture. Itās just that youāre embedded in it, like fish who canāt see the water surrounding it. Put an Irish guy who never traveled outside of Ireland in the middle of San Diego, and heāll say āoy this culture is different from mine!ā
Embrace your culture!
Having said that, nothing is stopping you from moving to one of those places and live there. Make it happen if you so want it! Iām saying this with a positive tone :)
At least you know where you come from. My father was black and who knows where my African ancestors come from. My motherās grand mother was French. I canāt speak French. And thatās okay. I speak English and Spanish, and thatās fine by me.
Sure. Iāll hit up the local renaissance fair when itās in town, and remind myself that itās local culture and that Iām embedded in it.
Lol, okay.
I didnāt mean to sound dismissive.
But seriously, you may want to try and live in one of the motherlands/fatherlands? Itās an enriching experience regardless.