One of JDs illegitimate children about to be born

A love seat, clearly

The couch from Roseanne. Because it was a wealthy person pretending to be poor for financial gain.

At least Roseanne Barr has some redeeming qualities and fought for equality at one point. Pity she had sme bigoted views too.

I have this on good authority, though I can’t name names.

He hates futons because they transition from couches to beds.

I’m guessing leather with a lot of folds

A pull-out couch

It’s the lingerie that does it.

A sextional

He tried them all so you don’t have to!

Now there is an idea for a satirical video game: A couch dating simulator! It could also be a TV dating show parody.