Author’s note: This was almost infuriating. I only kept a Reddit account to respond to r/writingprompts then they deleted the person’s prompt for a stupid reason, so because I didn’t want to have wasted my time, here is the prompt I found and responded to.

“A serial killer is going around your town. As a master necromancer, you think it would be funny to revive their victims.” Credit unknown

And here is my response:

“There he is!” the disheveled man in scrubs panted in disbelief as he pointed at the wealthy guy in a crisp, black suit. “That’s the guy who tried to murder me!” His shirt was bloody and an IV hung from his arm.

The night was about an hour old at this point and I could see the seven-eleven guy just shaking his head in disapproval at what I just did.

“You need help, sir.” the man in the suit defended himself.

“I’m serious” the man in scrubs confesses to a group of people in the parking lot watching and filming TikToks from their phone. A woman in braids who looked like she might be college age started laughing.

“No, everyone, this guy is my killer. He has a whole dungeon in his basement”

The woman threw out a sarcastic comment like it became her mission to make this endeavor more dramatic for her followers. “I’d really wanna to see that” She winked and thrust up her head like it would make the business owner respond.

The scrub-garbed man looked at the cluster of faces slowly becoming disinterested and about to get back in their vehicles. He pointed at me and I just knew what was going to pour out of his damn face hole.

“Ask that guy. He brought me back to life this afternoon. I was fortunate to get past all his crude attempts at escape deterrents.”

He looks at me. “Did you really think all those bear traps and Saw-esque contraptions would hold me. You suck at engineering. And the fucking doorknob wasn’t even hot enough. You clearly didn’t watch home alone.”

"Uh’ I paused, “Are you done your rant!? I didn’t want you to leave my apartment for this very reason. You can get justice after I get a slim jim and a slushy. In the mean time, why don’t you go back to my apartment from the back entrance with this key and get dressed. You have to be well dressed for your hunt”

And I wanted to be front row to this debacle. The business suit guy pulled out a pistol and aimed it at me. “YOU!” He yelled some obscenities and went on, “You are going to make me late for my date”

I remembered that I knew more than necromancy. With the gun still pointed at me I snapped my fingers expecting the time stopping technique to work. Everyone just stared at me looking confused. I booked it. I remembered to zig-zag as I ran so he couldn’t get a clear shot. I could hear the reanimated guy yelling at me and closing in. The content creator must have been close because I could hear her “narrating” like this was really that interesting content.

Dammit, I might go viral tonight, I said to myself. I gotta get back to my apartment. That Temu witchcraft and necromancy kit has to have something about actually reversing time. I start running so fast that I could trip at any moment and my ankles are on fire.

I lost them for a while but they will be here soon enough. A strange figure sat in the corner of a nearby alley in a brown robe with a smile on his face. I am hopeful that this guy is a fellow practitioner of the occult, so I ask him. Turns out he was just a junkie trying to score and I was in his way so he pulls out his knife and thrusts it in my direction. I managed to dodge him and keep running.

I lost them completely and it seems as I disappear into a crowd of night-goers. across the street, There is a well dressed guy and he points at me as his arm loosens from his date “Hey, aren’t you that guy who broke into my morgue all this month? Yeah, it is you. Hold on” He pulls out his phone and takes a picture “Hope you like six-by-eight foot cells and daily booty calls. I’m calling the cops”

I really have to rethink this whole thing. I start running again until I realize I have been going in a loop. There was the seven eleven. Oh, maybe Amir will help me hide. He seems to like my business and we have pretty interesting conversations.

I rushed into the store.

“Don’t steal anyth-, Oh, It’s you. We are currently getting a new slushy machine, you will have to try the one on seventeenth st-”

“Wait, Amir, you have to hide me. You know the other week when you said I would never amount to anything and I should quit trying to be something important?”

“Vaguely, sounds like something I might say”

“Well, I bought a ‘kit’ for raising the dead from an advertisement I saw while doom scrolling. I compulsively bought it thinking it was a scam. And, well. the killer on the loose is actually my ex-wife’s lawyer. And I broke into the morgue and brought back to life his last victim with it”

He burst into a rollicking laugh, “You mister Seth, are a funny man. I haven’t laughed like that since my youth. You get these.” He hands me some KitKats and smiles, “on the house”

“No, you idiot. Hide me. Behind the counter or something. Wait, don’t you have a gun behind that desk”

“I might but it’s not for you”

“I need it, my life is on the line. The killer AND the victim are after me.”

“Wow, you can’t even do vigilante justice right.”

“I’m a necromancer!”

“Well, can’t you just reanimate your own corpse”

“It doesn’t work like that, gimme the damn gun”

“Just make sure you bring it back, and wipe off the prints, I don’t want to get caught up in your chaos”

I grabbed the piece and bolted out the door. They had to be around here. There was a lot of disruption on Henry street so I went that way.

I saw a few figures arguing but it wasn’t them. I spent about ten minutes perusing the streets until I realized that the killer was long gone and was never going to show his face again, tonight. He was for another day, I had to rewrite history and put this other guy back to sleep but where did he get to? I had a facepalm moment, Oh, he has my key, he is at the apartment.

I snuck in with the spare key and found there was no one home. I looked out the window and saw him on the second floor porch.

“What the hell. man this key doesn’t work, just give me some clothes”

“Sorry man, I can’t mess with the dead or Temu any longer. You belong at that morgue”

I pointed the gun directly at his head. I paused and thought for a moment, then threw the gun on the ground. I, I couldn’t do it. I am no killer. I threw the gun into the dumpster below. “What’s your name? I’m Seth”

“Ben”

Let’s get you some clothes, we have work to do. I’ve got a case of beer for us in the fridge.

---

In a near abandoned seven eleven, Amir puts on the news “Tonight, investigators find what they think is the weapon used by the suspect in this haunting series of murders along the main line.” Amir, immediately, opens the register and empties the drawer into his bookbag. “I’m going to Mexico”