An expert suggested that parents whose children are experiencing anxiety should never tell their kids to “Calm down.” Rachel Romer, CEO and co-founder of educational assistance benefits company Guild, said in a CNBC report that calming down is best taught through demonstration and not by imposing it on one’s child. “I’m in the middle of parenting two little 4-year-olds, and I think about when they are anxious, saying ‘calm down’ is about the worst thing you can tell a 4-and-a-half-year-old,” she said in an episode of the company’s “Opportunity Divide” podcast with leadership researcher Brené Brown and organizational psychologist Adam Grant from Wharton. “What she found was, when you ask people, ‘What do you do when you’re anxious and what do you tell other people to do?,’ of people said ‘calm down,’ but they couldn’t do it, because we all know anxiety is an intense, highly activated emotion, and it doesn’t just go away,” Grant said. They recommended two exercises to help children manage their emotions, such as breathing together and reframing anxiety as excitement. “Anxiety is a very contagious emotion,” Brown said, but quickly added, “Calm is also contagious.” Parents can do exercises like talking to their child, and instead of saying, “I know you’re anxious, but…” or “Let’s try to calm down,” it is better to say, “I know you’re excited, and…”.

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