„The goat is lying!!!“

I tried to get the US-Citizenship. But then came the Macarena…

Wenn der Schmutz gleichmäßig verteilt ist sieht das Ganze gewollt und nicht mehr nach Schmutz aus 👍

Can’t read anything, this picture is too sharp!

What do you think of DD/HH/YYYY/Min/MM/Sec?

But your application will be sorted out beforehand when it’s written by an AI 🤮

Some years ago I’ve been to a blink182 open air concert with a girl I liked. And just when the chorus of the song „always“ started, warm Summer rain began to fall. It was amazing!

Harambe, I miss you buddy 😢

Tbh I want all of them in my life

I‘m already 35, I think that’s past the age where my youth gives me superpowers

I can feel when lights are turned on or shine at me. Taking photos with a flash for example feels like a hot wave to me. I think that is a side effect of my ASD, the poor stimulus filtering to be exact

Also I can hear most electric devices because of that. Charging them for example has a loud high frequency noise. Not just cheap chargers, almost all electronic devices

Imagine they did this that way: „hey Bob, I’ve some good and some bad news for you. The good one fist: you got promoted to Manager/VP/Whatever. The bad one: in order to make the company more efficient we’re letting go of some higher staff. So, you’re fired. Pack your stuff and fuck off until 12pm, manager Bob!“

You could go out on a date with me to make it round 😘

Philadelphia Collins ❤️

And uber be like: Kenya… Stop doing this plz

Spaßbremsen…

Pollockbot - 3000

I don’t believe in fish. They‘re just actors hired by the government. Wake up, sheeple!

Checkmate!

„So John… Listen. We‘re not enough revenue to pay you your regular salary. Either you cut off your d*ck, or we‘ll have to cut you off“