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The original was posted on /r/amithecloaca by /u/clickygirl on 2023-10-04 11:29:15.
I Mowgli. I beautiful luxurious 8f void, who own two human servant. Usually they adequate.
Day start well. I breakfast, I walk on human face when first light come (is morning!), they shout declarations of love, and play game of pretending they want me go away. All as per usual.
Most day, both human leave me alone for years. But! Today, human female hang around, maybe they finally get memo! We spend couch time, I get excellent pets, and demonstrate approval by leaving big patch drool on “clean T-shirt”. Human now wearing different changeable skin, probably has put other away to keep forever as souvenir.
However, all go downhill from there. First, human female leave house. “I was only gone for 5 minutes”, she say, but she clearly lie. Unacceptable! Then spend whole time in kitchen, make “jam”, and talk to air on little box shiny thing WHICH I HATE. I HATE WHEN SHE TALK AND IS NOT TO ME. So I express this loudly. Also, how can sit on lap if she standing up. UNACCEPTABLE.
So I punish by sulk. Also, later we have fight because “Mowgli, how did you even manage leave jam paw prints in bedroom, door was shut!” I refuse to give up cat secrets.
She try to tempt me with treat, which I reluctantly accept as need to keep strength. But then give cold shoulder. And now she is like “Mowgli, you’ve been badgering me to sit down all day and now you won’t come near me.”
Am not a badger. But starting to feel like cloaca for denying my glorious presence to human, who might waste away without. AITC for ignore human, or should I carry on make her suffer? Open to suggest.