I understand in person/public when people say “How are you?” they aren’t seriously asking, well…I don’t understand but I know it is a thing. However, in a online social group when they are having a “mental health check in” are you only allowed to say “fine” and move on?
I mean I am not going to unload but there is a lot bad right now, there is no silver lining for me right now, am I suppose to just act like all is good? I am not that good at lying and some of these people have known me a long time.
Am I too far off base to think the idea of a mental health check in is to talk with everyone else, share, commiserate, and find some relief in opening up?
Deep Breath, and done.
I read somewhere that almost every disagreement or upsetting thing between people is usually due to a difference in expectations. If you are expecting to fully express feelings as part of the meeting, but they are only looking for an overall “I’m doing terribly” and the person leading the group really only wants to give advise on something else part of the meeting, it would cause this misalignment of expectations. I wonder what would happen if you openly asked “I’m looking for a group that I can do X, is this a place for that or what are the expectations of this group?” Then at least you can save yourself some grief of opening up and having little response.
That being said, some groups/people say they want something, but their actions don’t seem to promote that, so you just have to draw that conclusion yourself and look elsewhere. But I’ve found clarifying expectations early helps prevent some disappointment.
Who is asking you for a mental health check-in? Are they asking you specifically or the group?
It is a group, it is a regular thing, I typically attend to be a helper, this time I needed to share, it didn’t go well. I don’t want to call them out, it is laypeople but there is a therapeutic aspect to the group.
