The power disparity was real for you. Only you can define your boundaries. If, in your case, it felt or now feels manipulative or abusive, then it was. As you said, you were starstruck, and I 100% understand that. I was there, too. My s pushed me well out of my comfort zone. In my case, I know it was manipulative, but I don’t regret it. I experienced things I never would have. I felt a connection I believed was deeper and more intense than anything I’d ever imagined. In my case, it was all smoke and mirrors, but I know what I felt. I’ll likely never have another D/s relationship because my s’s lies destroyed my desire to trust anyone the way I’d need to for that type of relationship. All that said, in most relationships, there is some power disparity. You saw an older, more experienced person who offered you something you wanted. To get that, there were rules, and you, at the time, were ok with them. Would you be ok with the rules now? Maybe not, but your view is colored by the past you lived between them and now. IMO, we get to experience things, and we learn from every one of them, or we don’t. If we don’t learn, we repeat mistakes. If we do learn, we hopefully don’t repeat the mistakes. So my answer to you is this. Only you can decide whether it was wrong. If you were happy then, what will you gain from disecting the experience unless you’re contemplating a repeat or a similar relationship. We can never know what goes on in anyone else’s mind. I suggest you don’t try to assing motives or intent. Remember at that time we all saw the end of the world just ahead; many of us made decisions then we might not make now. I doubt this answers any questions for you, but I’m happy to keep this discussion going for as long as you’d like. Feel free to take this to direct/private messages if you’d like.

Did you finish you MPH? What’s your area of interest?