It’s an ongoing process. Therapy helps, as does a truly understanding partner.

When I started dating again, my past crappy experience ended up contributing to my now-wife and I hitting it off so well:

• We both happened to have been through Some Shit before as these things go.
• We shared understanding and sympathy about what it’s like to be manipulated and treated poorly by toxic people.
• We were both confident about what we were and were not interested in, and were comfortable asserting ourselves about our own needs as well as listening and accommodating one another’s.
• We were also both living independently and staying afloat on our own, so if our dating didn’t work out ending the relationship wouldn’t have cost either of us our home/job/etc. (In my abusive situation this had not been the case.)