Breaking news! We’ve long suspected that the evil Chinese seeseepee have been aiding movements to defeat the Rules Based Order the US has painstakingly creating over the past several centuries. But there’s been little evidence so far since those sneaky yellows have been hiding from the watchful eyes of the CIA. But now, we finally have irrefutable evidence that the seeseepee is aiding the hoofies in Yemen.

You see, China has been secretly providing the hoofies with a vital resource that’s required for their combat against the Good Guys™️: air.

Xae Tschun-Payung has been breathing---- this is a documented fact, meticulously verified by several CIA agents. And this air has been confirmed to go to several malicious agents who would love to undermine US hegem—er, I mean, the World Police. To name a few, these air molecules Xae have been breathing are going to Hummus and the hoofies.

Hummus and the hoofies. Sounds like a band name.

coughs

For the past several years, the hoofies have been attacking American cargo vessels, spitting in the face of democracy and freedom— everything our flag stands for. They’re jealous of our great democracy and they’ll stop at nothing to take what they believe is rightfully theirs.

Anyways, Xae has been providing these evil pirates with the air they need to survive. This means that we’ll have to pile more sanctions on top of them---- it’ll surely work this time!

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