• Asafum@feddit.nl
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    8 months ago

    That is indeed the rule.

    I couldn’t even get conventionally unattractive people to respond lol

    I mean could I be the problem? Sure, I hate myself more than any person that exists or ever has existed lol

    • Jax@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      8 months ago

      It is more nuanced.

      I’m what you would consider handsome, until you take a picture of me. Then I look just fucked, I don’t know what it is about my face but it has to be in motion.

      You might just be better in person. Don’t know, but I think it’s all about perspective. No one will like you if you can’t find a way to like yourself.

      • Grumpy@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        8 months ago

        You likely don’t know how to take pictures. There was one “coach” that I’ve seen who basically said take 100 selfies a day to get skilled at taking pictures of yourself. As well as when taken by someone else. That way you know what poses, angles and expressions work and don’t work for you. There’s obviously more about it, but point is that everything needs practice, and a lot of it.

        • Jax@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          8 months ago

          Is it odd that I feel weird practicing taking pictures of myself? What you’re saying makes perfect sense, I just feel grimy in the doing.

          • Grumpy@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            8 months ago

            It’s not odd imo. I feel weird about it too. But I can’t help but accept it as a fact which works. All the insta addicted people essentially do this every day for years and it’s why they’re able to produce good pictures.

          • VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            8 months ago

            It’s normal socialization into the puritanical slave cult mentality which dominates popular culture, men especially aren’t allowed to be seen to care about appearance while simultaneously being heavily judged for any deviation from the accepted norms.

            I think it’s actually a radical act against the established patriarchy to take the time to learn to look your best in selfies and to pose for pictures. Learn your body, use beauty products, think about what outfits suit you and what they say about you.

            • Jax@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              edit-2
              8 months ago

              I think that your reasoning likely applies to some or many, but it is in no way reflective of why I dislike preening myself.

              I’ve experienced excessive vanity, I’ve experienced blatant narcissism. I also recognized the capacity for both within myself, which is what makes posing in front of a mirror feel so slimy to me. I just don’t know if others feel this way, or have had similar reactions.

      • Asafum@feddit.nl
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        8 months ago

        I think that’s part of it to be honest. When I take a picture I look absolutely atrocious, no angles or lighting save me from looking ugly as hell lol

    • Instigate@aussie.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      8 months ago

      Sounds like you’re the sort of person who does well in candid pictures. In order to get a great profile picture, have someone you know take photos of you while you’re having a coffee and a chat with a friend for fifteen minutes or so and try to ignore the camera as much as possible. I definitely look much better candid than posed; I honestly believe that most people do!

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      8 months ago

      Sure, I hate myself more than any person that exists or ever has existed lol

      This generally isn’t something you’d open with when seeking a date, but you might attract some hawt goth chicks, so it’ll possibly pay off.