Want to be an AFL media personality? It’s easy — just follow the four-step Kane Cornes plan.

1. Look up which teams that lost on the weekend.

2. For each of the teams, come up with a reason why either:

a) It’s the players’ fault. They’re too lazy. Don’t train hard enough. Don’t put in enough effort!
b) It’s the players’ fault. They’re not skilled enough!
c) It’s the coach’s fault. Bad tactics. Bad strategy. He’s allowing those players to be lazy!
d) It’s the recruiter’s fault. They picked/traded for the wrong players!

3. Get your producers to find a passage of play, interview, or press conference you can say backs up your claim.

4. Go on TV or radio and say what you think confidently, as if you’re really pissed off about it.

Yeah, the older Richmond players didn’t show enough effort. You really don’t care — you used to play for Port Adelaide after all.

But you pretend you do on TV and the radio, because it makes great content.

That’s really all it takes, folks!

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