I’ve never thought about it until now, the only times when I ever felt fulfilled is when I’m doing something for others and helping them achieve their goals. I myself have goals and dreams of my own but I’ve never feel motivated to work towards them for myself, it just feels like a boring chore.
And thanks to that, my life is an absolute mess now, I know what I should have done for my own good but I just couldn’t find the will to do it without someone forces me, and sometimes even that doesn’t work.
I’m not saying I’m a good person, I’m anything but a saint, I might enjoy helping others but for some I just don’t give a damn.
There’s a saying in the caregiving community, those of us keeping loved ones with dementia and various disabilities afloat, alive and (hopefully) thriving.
Don’t set yourself on fire to keep your loved one warm.
Meaning, if you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot help others. You could set yourself on fire, but the flames go out quickly, and then you’re a crispy, crunchy mess—and both of you are far worse off than when you started.
Put your own oxygen mask on first, before trying to help others.
And… sometimes that means saying “no.” Which is hard, but necessary.