As we heal and start to get to a point where we are in a better state of mind we have to remember that we will still have breakdowns from time to time. There will be triggers all around us, sometimes a TV show, a movie, a song, a smell, the sound of a voice, and many more possible. It’s natural and it can be uncomfortable but it does help you get to a better place. That is part of the grieving process.

Sometimes you have to talk about it and cry to get over the pain and make new memories. This is especially true with the people who are around you often. My wife and I took many road trips and watched a lot of shows and movies. On a road trip we almost always had some music playing and there are a ton of songs that take me back to a trip we did many times. I can’t stop listening to music so I have to deal with the pain that sometimes creeps up. But at the same time I can talk to my girlfriend and her son and explain things and talk about my wife and share those memories and a little bit of the pain with them. In turn we all become closer and the little bit of the pain shared is pain shed from my own burden, in the same light they are less deeply connected and they recover from the pain quickly and are able to cast it away and not have it become a burden to them.

Go out and do the things that you loved to do with them, visit the special places in your heart. It doesn’t matter if those special places are a physical place or a song, or a movie, or anything that reminds you of them. It will be tough and we can’t do it all day every day but a little bit here and there will help you to ease the overall pain and grow into something that the person you loved and lost will be proud of. As I write this to share with others to hopefully help reduce their pain I know in my heart the my wife is proud of where I have come from and gotten to.