When my grandfather was living with dementia, he often would believe that dead loved ones were still alive. My mother would always correct him. “No Dad, Elinor is dead, she died five years ago, you can’t wait up for her to come home.” and he would break down. “She is dead! NO!” and start crying. The next day or so it would happen again. I asked my mom " Why the hell are you putting him through this? Just play along he can imagine she is still alive, he can live in a fantasy world where she is just out doing groceries." My mom said “No, the only thing your grandfather has now is us. He cannot trust his mind, or his memories. They are failing him and cannot be trusted. But he can know he always has us to tell him the truth, no matter how painful it is. Because mental deterioration is not a hill you fall down at a constant slope, it is a bumpy ride to the bottom with good days and bad days. When he has a good day, he will remember that you appeased his conscience with a lie, and remember he cannot trust you. Then he will have nothing in this world. Not himself and not even us.”

The world is full of pain that we cannot and should not avoid. We pass through pain and become stronger. I share this story because society now believes we should appease those with mental problems. This is bad for society, and for those suffering. We are not doing the mentally ill favors by playing in their world of twisted thoughts.