Let today be the first day of the end of your life!

If you ever feel bound by red-tape consider a different color of tape or adhesive…

Pick flowers. Smile at police and hand them flowers. Comply. Use a public defender and plead no contest to assault and resisting arrest…

Make the theoretical more literal by rolling a physical boulder up a hill every so often.

Say goodbye to trees you’ve grown accustomed to and apologize to forests…

When taking the shortcut through the cemetery always whistle like a psycho…

Die a little less every day with the help of big pharma and lil herb…

Focus on the things not currently on fire…

Open up your schedule by glaring at your friends and acquaintances, take a sip from a beverage, exhale with seething anger and repeatedly leave abrubtly without saying goodbye…

Cry in public. Then cry in public wearing a festive outfit. Compare results…

Learn to speak Lobster. Listen to their wisdom. Get the courage to know the things you cannot grasp, the things you can claw and the freedom from rubber bands to operate the claws…

Smoke crack repeatedly for 27hrs, rest for 12 and repreat until you’ve convinced your shadow to stop following you around like a dick without anything to say…

Have an emotional breakthrough and breakdown at the same time

Cut power costs by stabbing electrical outlets.