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The original was posted on /r/jokes by /u/kneaddough on 2023-08-07 18:25:59+00:00.

Hypochondriac: Doctor, I have no idea what’s wrong with me but I’m in pain everywhere on my body. My stomach hurts. My bones and joints hurt. I’m always nauseous. I always have a splitting headache. I’ve come to you for years and you keep telling me there’s nothing wrong but I FEEL like there is something very wrong with me.

Doctor: we’ve done EKGs, ECG’s, ultrasounds, x-rays, MRIs, PETs, every imaginable blood test. I’m telling you there is nothing wrong with you.

Hypochondriac: are you sure there’s nothing else you can do? I’m feeling really desperate here. At this point I think it’s time for me to find a new doctor who CAN find out what’s wrong with me.

Doctor: Well, there is one more test we can do but…

The hypochondriac interrupts: Great! Let’s do it. How soon can you fit me in?

Doctor: Well, it just so happens that I had a cancellation tonight. Do you think you could come back around 6 PM?

Hypochondriac: Done. I’ll see you then. The hypochondriac arrives back at the doctors office at 5:50 PM ready for further testing. A nurse guides him into an operating room has him remove all his clothes and put on a hospital gown then has him lie flat on the operating table. Soon after the anesthesiologist and the doctor arrive.

The anesthesiologist starts administering the anesthesia

Doctor: Don’t worry. If there’s anything wrong with you, this test will prove it.

Hypochondriac, just a few seconds from being completely under: I’m so happy to hear that. By the way, what is the test called?

And just as the hypochondriac fades out of consciousness, the doctor says, “Oh, it’s called an autopsy.”