EDIT: Two responses from admins who dishonestly reframed the events of my ban and apparently refuse to explain it. Apparently “long time users” get different treatment.

EDIT2: The reason was finally given that “Have you stopped beating your wife?” in response to someone trying to put words in your mouth and ask loaded questions is a banworthy set of words. Incredible I know.


I would like explanation for the thinking that led to me being recently banned and branded a racist.

I was randomly attacked by a bad faith troll who later let slip that she was bearing a grudge based on some other encounter from 8 months ago. The attack consisted of an attempt to paint me as a racist for this simple and honest reading error.

I am a principled Marxist Leninist, active in real life and any reading of my contributions will support this and refute this slur on my character.

I can, at most, stretch to forgiving the ridiculous idea that I was the one being “toxic” here, and not simply holding up a mirror to the toxicity of the troll who attacked me for an innocent mistake, fantasised about me doing hypothetical racist things, asked me loaded questions and tried to put words in my mouth to fool credulous onlookers.

What I cannot ever accept is the allegation that I somehow engaged in “racism” anywhere in this interchange or in any of my other comments in the years I’ve participated on here. I deserve an explanation as to what you think you saw as racist in any of my comments.

I expect a complete apology, a clearing of my name and censure against my attacker and abuser. Those involved shamed themselves with their actions. You have an opportunity to make amends and undo that injustice you’ve inflicted.

I run a large ML forum with weekly views of tens of thousands and I recognise exactly the temptations you’ve allowed yourselves to succumb to of abusing your power for a false sense of righteousness based on petty bullying and unfair treatment. I know that I’m not the only one who’s been a victim of this on lemmygrad.

The contributors to this forum deserve better moderation and better judgement from the admins in general. The current process of banning people without right of reply is abusive and dishonourable. That can be a separate discussion.

  • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
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    24 days ago

    Thanks for correcting her gender. As you know that’s a sitewide rule so before any discussion can take place we have to look into that.

    Our reading of the situation differs. She called you out for the misspelling that wasn’t one, and you reacted by asking “will you also stop beating your wife?” (modlog with the deleted comment). Do you think it was a proportional response to say that, and can you agree that it may have been a factor in the user’s response?

    • LarkinDePark@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      24 days ago

      She called you out for the misspelling that wasn’t one

      Is that really something that needs “calling out”? Would a simple correction not be more comradely?

      , and you reacted by asking “will you also stop beating your wife?”

      This is not true. I reacted to this:

      Will you also start telling people who type in Bahasa Melayu, Bahasa Indonesia (both of which use English letters btw); or really, people when they type any non-western languages (like even arabic for example) using english letters that they’re just “misspelling” shit?

      Was this really necessary? What do you think this achieved? This is the toxic behaviour in the thread, the rest is my, far more tame, response.

      It’s telling already that two admins now have seemingly decided to be dishonest in their treatment of this and erase my attacker’s behaviour.

      Was it comradely to leave a comment up telling me to “eat soft shit”? Do you endorse that treatment of comrades?

      • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
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        24 days ago

        By call-out I mean her first reply in its entirety.

        But yes, that’s where we disagree and where the bans came from - one sitewide (only admins can issue them) and three from communities (can be issued by admins or community moderators). Your response to the user was out of proportion.

        Was it comradely to leave a comment up telling me to “eat soft shit”? Do you endorse that treatment of comrades?

        She was reacting to your prior insult. It was a proportionate response. If she had said that in the first comment when you pointed out the misspelling that would be entirely different and we would have banned her instead. But that’s a hypothetical.

        I got two different users confused. They told you this after you asked the first user if they “will stop beating their wife”. You’re trying to defend it and recontextualize it, but you did say that as shown in the modlog. It was a disproportionate response, that’s all there is to it. That’s where the discussion begins, everything else is out of topic.

        • LarkinDePark@lemmygrad.mlOP
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          24 days ago

          By call-out I mean her first reply in its entirety.

          Her first reply was to get me to list out the words I thought were misspellings so that I’d walk into the trap.

          But yes, that’s where we disagree and where the bans came from

          Could you clarify? Where do we disagree and where did the bans come from?

          Your response to the user was out of proportion.

          Because the famous loaded question analogy is triggering or something? If I’d just said “please stop with the abuse and loaded questions”, then that would have been okay?

          It was a proportionate response.

          Telling someone to “eat soft shit” is proportional to a calling out of loaded questions? I don’t think you’ve given this enough thought. This isn’t holding water at all.

          I got two different users confused. They told you this after you asked the first user if they “will stop beating their wife”.

          You’re misquoting me. They said:

          Will you also start telling people… [fantasises about me doing things]

          and in response I said:

          Will you also stop beating your wife?

          The famous response to being asked loaded questions. A perfectly normal and proportionate response that calls out the abusive loaded question.

          You’re trying to defend it and recontextualize it,

          It only has one single context. You’re simply wrong here, it isn’t a matter of opinion. If you were unfamiliar with the expression then all of this is more understandable. But now that you have no excuse to not understand it, then I don’t know on what basis you’re continuing to try to justify this response.

          I still haven’t heard anything at all to support the charge of racism.

          I think you’re too proud to admit that you messed up and you’re circling the wagons like cops. I can’t overstate how disappointing it is to see a group of people who call themselves Marxist Leninists have such low integrity and engage in a defensive, fanciful, ridiculous and obvious lie together instead of owning up to a terrible error of judgement.

          Nothing I said was racist and nothing I said was any more toxic than how I was attacked. This is a fact.

          • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
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            24 days ago

            I edited my previous comment because I got two different users confused.

            But this follows with my edit. You’re going in circles and trying to point out a logical fallacy by asking tons of questions.

            You asked someone if they “will stop beating their wife?” unprompted, at a perceived slight. The administration and everyone else who has commented here so far disagrees with you trying to walk it back. That’s all there is to it. You got a 15 day sitewide ban and it expired 11 days ago. Don’t make these kinds of comments towards other users.

            • LarkinDePark@lemmygrad.mlOP
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              24 days ago

              Edited mine too.

              You’re going in circles and trying to point out a logical fallacy by asking tons of questions.

              I deleted two questions to keep it on topic. I’m going in a perfectly straight line looking for evidence of my racism or that I was the one being “toxic”. None have been provided.

              The administration and everyone else who has commented here so far disagrees with you trying to walk it back.

              No, they simply didn’t engage with it but sought to derail the thread. Nobody offered any reasoned disagreement.

              Don’t make these kinds of comments towards other users.

              Which kind? Don’t use extremely common defenses to dishonest attempts to slur people? You’re standing up for the bully here.

              • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
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                24 days ago

                No admin called you out for racism, that came from other people. So I don’t really have anything to say to that; I can only discuss your sitewide ban. You’ll have to take that up with them.

                On the admin side we don’t believe we messed up because your ban was justified for what you chose to say to the user.

                If I’d just said “please stop with the abuse and loaded questions”, then that would have been okay?

                Yes, that would have been a great response. Again the point of contention is that you perceived a slight from the OP, and replied with “will you also stop beating your wife?” implying that they beat their wife. We considered this to be disproportionate and you received a temporary ban for toxic behavior over this. If another admin wants to apologize like you’re asking for they can do that individually, we don’t control what other admins say, but from my end you feeling disrespected and treated unfairly is not in line with the reality of the situation and the chain of events. You wanted an admin response and this is it. You can keep poking at the topic if you want but it won’t change.

                You’re also a long-time user so I don’t know why you feel like singling out that “Apparently “long time users” get different treatment.” Your problem seems to be with the user in question, not us. If we wanted to give you different treatment we’d delete this post and ban your account permanently like we do for the many liberals that wander on lemmygrad.

                • LarkinDePark@lemmygrad.mlOP
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                  24 days ago

                  Yes, that would have been a great response.

                  So your issue really is with a very common expression that refutes dishonesty. It’s a very strange position to take.

                  Again the point of contention is that you perceived a slight from the OP

                  Not quite, that I was slighted by OP in an attempt to play to the crowd.

                  and replied with “will you also stop beating your wife?” implying that they beat their wife.

                  Again with dishonesty. You’re openly lying here and you well know it. You’ve already been informed of the very famous nature of this response and it is not to imply anything. Is she even married? Do I know anything about her? No. This is an incredibly weak line here and you’re displaying a complete lack of accountability to the user base. No process of appeal, a circling of the wagons mindset with power protecting a select few “long time users”, as the other admin put it, allowing some to have free reign to bully and abuse others.

                  If another admin wants to apologize like you’re asking for they can do that individually, we don’t control what other admins say, but from my end you feeling disrespected and treated unfairly is not in line with the reality of the situation and the chain of events. You wanted an admin response and this is it. You can keep poking at the topic if you want but it won’t change.

                  You can lie to yourself in plain view for all to see if you like. It’s also for others to decide how much to trust you in all your projects and whether to leave themselves vulnerable to arbitrary censorship and abuse. I’m pretty sure you’re not appreciating the gravity of what’s happened here and its potential destructive impact into the future. I personally can’t bring myself to collaborate with someone who is part of the group who perpetrated this cruelty. I don’t think from your casual callous attitude that you even understand the hurt inflicted.

                  You’re also a long-time user so I don’t know why you feel like singling out that “Apparently “long time users” get different treatment.”

                  Because nobody censured my abuser for her treatment of a long time user.

                  Your problem seems to be with the user in question, not us.

                  It’s both really. But I’ve no doubt that not all the admins are in on this. Some definitely have principles and integrity.

                  If we wanted to give you different treatment we’d delete this post and ban your account permanently like we do for the many liberals that wander on lemmygrad.

                  And in doing so permanently damn yourselves as a group of thugs without integrity or honour. Denying your users any right of reply or recourse to your petty bullying. Your emotional response here and thinly veiled name-calling just shows your immaturity along with your repeated dishonesty throughout this thread.