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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/FirstProphetofSophia on 2023-08-10 18:59:25.

This weekend, I (35m) took a sleep test for the first time in my life. My wife (36f), is a skeptic of American medicine and has been upset with how much I use my phone.

So to start, we have an 18 month old baby that we take care of, but I wake up groggy and grumpy every day and have been for decades. So when I finally had the chance to take a sleep study, I jumped on it.

Now, I got the results back 2 days ago, and it came back positive. Obstructive sleep apnea. I wasn’t surprised. What did surprise me was the price of a machine, nearly $900. So I booked an appointment to get the machine.

My wife was livid. She told me that it’s too much to pay, that I have student loans to pay off, that she’s been saving all this money just for me to waste on myself, when she hasn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in over a year and a half.

She says that since I sleep heavily, I might at sleep better than she does. So last night, she was saying all I need to do is “Don’t be in your phone all the time and you’ll sleep better.” I was tired of her always thinking she’s smarter than doctors so I abruptly said “F*ck you.” and stormed out of the room.

Now it’s today. I cancelled the appointment, I’m not expecting anything to get better, she is still not speaking to me, and I’m wondering if I’m wrong here. AITA?

Edit 1: to clarify, we have more than a year’s income in savings, so at this point we are hoarding money. Also, she told me it was “just doctors trying to make money”. Also, she told me to my face “you wouldn’t use it anyway”. Lastly, I do use my phone at night, but only to combat existing insomnia. So if I get a good night’s rest, I am less likely to overuse coffee to stay alert during the day, breaking the cycle of coffee -> bad night’s sleep -> coffee.

Edit 2: I’m only 130lbs, so it’s clearly not a weight/diabetic issue. We have two beds, one in the master bedroom and one in the basement across the house, so it wouldn’t be a noise issue to get one. And I understand I need to be nicer about this. It’s not the first time I’ve sought medical help (she doesn’t really believe in psychology or therapy) and she pushes back on every decision, so I admit I snapped and need to work on that. My results were 5.1 stoppages per hour on average, and lowest blood oxygen level was 89% average.

Edit 3: I’ve gone ahead and ordered a machine.