DISCLAIMER - I am not planning on fighting a pelican.

there’s a brown pelican that hangs out on the railing of a very narrow portion of a boardwalk nearby. the only reason it makes me nervous is because it’s huge, but their nails look short, and their beaks are pointed, but curved downwards so they would have to try to bite me with that long thing instead of pecking me.

like, if a bird capable of clawing or eating my eyes out attacked my face, I’d honestly have no qualms about killing it immediately. but if I ever get attacked by a pelican, it looks like I could just kind of hold it off without having to hurt it. am I right in that?

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      I also wouldn’t fuck with Turkeys. The wild ones are smart enough to actually try to get the hell away from you. The domestic ones are the stupidest fucking animals on the planet, and unlike sheep, they are MEAN. If they think they have a chance to take you, they’ll get the whole damn flock to dogpile you till you start throwing these 20-30 pound birds.

    • Dasus@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      Realistically, if that person had no regard for the bird, they could’ve just grabbed it and strung it’s neck.

      “Maybe he didn’t want to hurt the animal,” Hensley’s father-in-law, George Koutsogiannis, told the Sun-Times. “Maybe he didn’t fight back enough when the swan attacked him…I can’t understand how this was possible.”

      A single swan can’t actually physically overpower a person, but people can panic and make bad choices, especially when in water and confronted with aggressive wildlife.

      • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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        13 hours ago

        That’s why I specifically said ‘while kayaking’ but also I’ve cared for geese, roosters, and swans.

        Ever been attacked by any of those animals? I have. Roosters are the worst. They have these sharp spikes on their legs that draw blood. I’ve kicked a rooster with everything i had because it was spurring me and going for my face. Itd didnt just die, thing kept coming at me. I kicked it several times without holding back and it just kept attacking. Took two people to catch it so i could get in my car. The rooster was fine. I was scratched to hell.

        That rooster was small. Now imagine a goose or swan with the same attitude.

        I’ve worked many farms and those birds don’t fuck around. If youre so confident by all means fuck around with those birds and find out. I won’t stop you.

        • Dasus@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          Geese and swan don’t have anything sharp, and I’m sure had you wanted to, you could’ve grabbed the cock by the neck and wrung it without it being able to actually kill you.

          Annoying and perhaps even need medical attention for scratches? Yeah. KILL YOU?

          Nah.

          • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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            12 hours ago

            I think you’re misunderstanding me here.

            The way birds attack is basically the embodiment of chaos. Grabbing a flapping, sqwaking, incredibly fast and pissed off bird isn’t easy, near impossible. I wanted to snap that roosters neck, and tried to grab his fucking legs as they coming at me. Needed help that day lol

            I used to have to catch these bastards and put them in the coop every night. It was my least favorite part of the job. The hens were a delight, loved them. Roosters and geese can fuck off though.

            Sure, one might not kill you, but add in a body of water, slick mud, obstacles(things geese and swans are around frequently) ect and someone can definitely get very injured or die because they got knocked over and hit their head or whatever. Plus they’re really goddamn aggressive and that can surprise people.

            Exercise caution, and don’t underestimate them my friend.

            • Dasus@lemmy.world
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              9 hours ago

              Sure, one might not kill you

              My point exactly, mister bird expert.

              someone can definitely get very injured or die because they got knocked over and hit their head or whatever

              That can happen literally anywhere, anytime, to anyone, with no influence from any sort of avian.

              • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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                8 hours ago

                If you wish to be careless around aggressive birds go ahead.

                I’m advising caution for reasonable folks who actually wish to minimize injury to themselves and don’t get a hit of dopamine from being deliberately contrarian online.

                Enjoy your day my friend! Hope you got your fix.

                • Dasus@lemmy.world
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                  5 hours ago

                  You wanted a fix of “look what an expert I am”, while ignoring the fact that you were wrong the whole time.

                  Birds can not overpower humans. They can pose dangers to people who don’t want to harm the birds, but if a human does want to harm a bird, the human wins. Doesn’t really matter which bird and which human, if you stipulate an adult human.

                  Have there been deaths related to birds? Yes. Can they pose risks, even severe ones, like, say, through sickness? Yes.

                  Was that the discussion? No.

                  You’re the contrarian here, my friend. I’m just agreeing with the earlier guy who said what is a very clear fact; birds can’t overpower humans.

                  You came in linking an article which I then read, quoted, and then you started backpedaling and now you’re accusing me of being a contrarian because I called you out on your contrarian argument which isn’t even supported by the thing you linked or any supposed experience you have.

                  Hope you got your fix of highroading. Enjoy your day! Think positive thoughts and don’t dwell on this massive L you took! :))