I’m in my late 20s now and I feel so much despair.
I think a huge factor that shaped my world is my breakup almost 3 years ago. I had dated several people, actually more than several, before then.
I feel like people think I am delusional when I say this, but he was genuinely the nicest person I’ve ever met in my life. I don’t understand how it’s possible for someone to have actually cared about me to the extent he did. At times I felt like he actually cared about me more than my own mom did. It wasn’t just that, he was intelligent and hilarious too and we had a lot in common.
Unfortunately I wasn’t good enough for him and he didn’t want to continue the relationship. This basically fundamentally broke me.
I had my share of heartbreaks before, but even when I met him, I was basically at my breaking point with love. I remember telling myself this was my last try (because I was so done). To this day I literally have no idea how I could have so much in common with someone. It’s like we completely agreed on almost every aspect in life. Did he just lie to me or agree with everything I said or something?
Apparently he has also had random acquaintances tell him he’s a breath of fresh air and so nice to be around compared to most people, so it’s not just me.
I really don’t know what to do other than cry about losing him. I’ve tried so hard to find happiness for myself but how could I let something like that go?
My life hasn’t gotten any better since then and I honestly think I am hopeless. Genuinely.
Literally everyone pales in comparison to what I had with him. Even though what I had clearly wasn’t real, because ultimately he clearly didn’t feel the same about me since he chose to leave. It felt real to me, talking to him is the most enjoyable thing I had experienced in my life.
This all sounds extremely sad and pathetic but really what am I supposed to do? I bet most people haven’t even come close to meeting someone like him so they can’t relate to this at all. I am going to sound insane again but I think he is some prodigy or something. Like one of those one in a million once in a lifetime people that most won’t even get the chance to meet.
Tough love/insult approach doesn’t work with me. Anyways, since you are the one who broke up with your “ideal person” or whatnot I feel like our situations aren’t all that comparable. Thanks for trying to help if it was in good faith, though it doesn’t sound that way.
Ahh but I am not attacking you. Again that is a mental issue you are instantly getting defense about and immediately saying something won’t work. Because how I worded things you now think I am hostile towards you.
I do take issue with you saying because I broke up with my ideal person and we aren’t alike for that very reason. Assuming so much from such a short sentence. For context I broke up with her because I am not the man that could provide a loving life style for her kid. I tried. I tried for 5 years to treat this kid as my own but he rejected me. The night I broke up with her she begged me to stay together, we could live separate when she had custody of her kid. Am I the asshole for breaking up? I gave her a chance to find someone else that may have better luck connecting to her kid. Spoiler she did find a guy that the kid at least tolerated and they’ve been happy together since. I’ll go ahead and say I am probably more like your boyfriend in this scenario. Maybe he found something flawed in the relationship and he just wanted to let you off easy?
For context I am a deeply disturbed person myself. I have extreme levels of depression and I struggle to maintain friendships with some people that see differently than I. I’m stuck in my mental ways but I do go to a therapist and get outside assistance with my issues because I came to the realization that I am broken too. I can’t handle my own mind on my own. I’m not proud that it took me several mental break downs to admit I can’t finish this life alone. It isn’t easy to talk about. The whole reason I even posted here is due to my therapist telling me to reach out to others more after my best friend killed himself with an OD last week.
So no this isn’t an attack on your person. This is a warning that reality does not have any concern for you and if you cry yourself into a mental state about appeasing others. I’m terribly sorry if you fail to change that path yourself. There are tons of people willing to help, irl and online. We’ve been shaped by different life experiences and events. You will likely hear a lot of things you don’t want to hear and those are likely the truth you need. Whether you consider what I’ve posted as help or an attack is up to you. But you asked.