I have read about shutdowns and meltdowns. But I don’t actually get what that looks like in real time.

What I understand is that meltdowns is when someone loses control of their emotions.

Shutdowns are when someone loses the ability to perform certain functions, e.g. the ability to speak.

I was wondering if someone could give a more explicit example, of what that actually looks like?

  • BOMBS@lemmy.worldM
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    1 year ago

    For me, a shutdown is when I “burn out”. I can’t be around people, do my basic tasks like laundry or eating. I stop answering my phone, sometimes even placing it on “do not disturb”. I tend to be on the couch a lot if not the bed. It can last 1-2 days or sometimes weeks. On the rare occasion, I can be out for a month or more. During these times, I wither wither away, become really skinny, or someone comes to take care of me.

    Meltdowns are when I’ve reached my limit of external stimuli or social bullshit. I either go to my room and lay in bed or try to distract myself. If I’m somewhere else, I try to go to the bathroom for like 30 mins if I feel one coming on. If a person doesn’t let me escape, then I become antagonistic and start “telling the truth” as I like to call it. I call them out on their bullshit very sternly and directly. I don’t cushion it. It tends to be hurtful to the person, but in the moment, I don’t care since they are being hurtful towards me, so I see it as defending myself.

    My abusive ex was a therapist and realized I was autistic before I even did. She would trigger meltdowns on purpose to then gaslight me into thinking I was abusive, garner pity from other people, and make others hate me. I ended up losing the majority of my friends. So, it’s really important to be aware of your meltdowns, triggers, and when they are coming. It’s also just as important to protect yourself from abusive people by being highly selective of who you choose to be around. I will never ever let someone like that in my life again.

    • BilboBargains@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      What sort of therapist sets about causing mental health issues in the people around them? That’s completely fucked.

      • BOMBS@lemmy.worldM
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        1 year ago

        A narcissist with psychopathic tendencies that has no integrity and rips their clients off by making them feel good in session to keep them addicted to her therapy without any substantial long-term mental health improvement.

          • BOMBS@lemmy.worldM
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            1 year ago

            I would need evidence that I don’t have because it’s what I would gather from what she would tell me. Otherwise, I would sound like a vengeful ex-boyfriend. And like I said, she’s a great manipulator. Without hard evidence, she’d find a way to turn it around on me. Narcissists are going to be narcissists.

    • cogitoprinciple@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      This is really insightful, it looks like meltdowns and shutdowns affect different people on the spectrum in different ways.

      I’m still trying to figure out how exactly I experience them, but I’m very certain I’m autistic. I definitely get sensory overload, and overwhelmed in social situations.

      I think I get foggy, when I get overwhelmed socially, or trying to take in information in a way that is not productive for me personally. I can become really uncoordinated and lose awareness of my physical space when I’m pushed too much. I get clumsy, and know I need to rest to recover. I can’t have a conversion without getting confused. I need people to slow down and use simple words for me to understand what is being said.

      I think now, I’m very guarded due to dealing with a lot of manipulative people in my life. I have one good friend who has helped me a lot in terms of seeing manipulation and pretense in people, which has trained me to see bs. Before that, I was pulled in all sorts of directions, by all sorts of people in my life. From family members, to people in the social circles I had involvement in. Now I think they are all nuts, and self serving. More people seem to be manipulative than not, at least from my experience.

      • BOMBS@lemmy.worldM
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        1 year ago

        Now I think they are all nuts, and self serving. More people seem to be manipulative than not, at least from my experience.

        same