I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.

Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.

To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.

I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.

I feel like I’m missing something.

  • homoludens@feddit.org
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    7 hours ago

    almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born

    I had a coworker bragging about lying to his wife that he couldn’t take time off. This is fucked up on so many levels: why even have a kid? Why do you lie to your wife? Why are you telling people you barey know (I had been there for like two weeks) that you lie to your wife? WTF?

    I feel like I’m missing something.

    Maybe they’re insecure? They don’t know what to do with the new kid, and instead of figuring it out together with their partner they run back to the things they know and hide behind a fake martyrdom. I wonder how many of them will in a few months or years say that women are “naturals” when it comes to taking care of kids.

    Congrats on the kid and on being an actual dad!

    • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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      4 hours ago

      Why marry her if you don’t like her that much? Like, seriously? I know there is the meme of “burnt-out husband spending weekends working overtime so he can avoid his wife”, but those are usually failing relationships.