- cross-posted to:
- lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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This is what enables me to gaslight myself into thinking I must not be a proper neurodivergent, as I do not spend all my days playing (insert whateverthefuck it is today that is considered the most autistic), while simultaneously believing that Dwarf Fortress is and will probably forever be the best game ever made, and shaming myself for not being immediately capable of playing something like Aurora 4X without going through any tutorials.
spoiler
It’s kinda sad, actually, how society has gaslighted me into thinking that because I was born at the time and the place I was, and because of the culture and socioeconomical ladder that my parents inhabited at the time, and because I was assigned to the gender that I was; and because of the certain traits I showed growing up - while at the same time completely disregarding every other trait - that there are only certain stereotypes that I feel I must fit into, even within neurodivergence, and if I don’t fill those roles I myself will feel like a failure. I think most problems (labeled with varying diagnoses in the ICD-10, including but not limited to: paranoid schizophrenia, psychotic depression, borderline personality disorder, social anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.) that have arisen in my life are because of these things that society has imposed on me, without ever even asking for my own preference and never taking me seriously when I tell of them. Psychiatry is a fucking joke like that, because no-one in that so-called “field of science” took me seriously regarding neurodivergence until like maybe two or three years ago, once my sister was diagnosed with ADHD. Instead they claimed that “it would have been noticed by now”. Yeah you should know, you absolute fucking quack, you goddam charlatan. Keep selling me your fucking snake-oils that do fuck all, except make me unable to get an erection or cum, and only fuck my brain up with electric-feeling zaps if I miss a dose. You fucking fuckwit.
thankfully none of that matters haha lol let’s go gaymerzzzzz
Dwarf fortress is one of those games I keep going back to. Aurora is similar but I can see how it’d be more opaque. DF premium means I’ve had to relearn years of muscle memory though.
None. I never played a video game to “please others”. I might have avoided the Sonic franchise around the peak of the whole CWC fiasco (if you don’t know, then you’re a happy man for not knowing it, don’t google, bing, duckduckgo, or searng it!), but at worst I thought it wasn’t me who had autism, but people around me were hyperfixated on “normalcy” and “causing harm to those who they’re allowed to”.
Satisfactory
hypixel skyblock
I mean, I actually think it’s a relatively competent game, but it does have graphics straight out of the nineties and puzzle-y gameplay which neuro-boring people would probably call boring: !dcss@lemmy.ml
And yeah, might be about 1/3 of my life since it’s been my most-played game fairly consistently.
Currently Destiny 2. Its had a chokehold on me since 2019 and despite all the crap it’s been through I really don’t think I can find another game like it.
Splatoon’s a runner up but I just couldn’t find myself loving 3 like I did 2
The Finals
The entire whatever-a-pix series.
I was obsessed with everything about this game. The gameplay/glitches, music, even the art style influenced my own. I even contacted the developpers to ask if they had the soundtrack because I wanted to listen to it on the bus.
Europa Universalis IV
Final Fantasy XI. I have thousands of hours into it on a free private server and it never gets old. Everything about the game is just perfect to scratch the dopamine loop for me.
That’s great! If you have fun, everything should be fine :)
For me, it’s Eurotruck Simulator. I just drive around and have done this for over 3000 hours.
I’ve always wondered about the appeal of the truck simulator games. Personally I hate driving and it gives me a lot of anxiety, but I’ve heard that people find the game to be meditative and relaxing. Is that your experience with it?
Back when I was living in a city, sometimes when I couldn’t sleep at night I’d walk down to the garage, get my car (which I rarely needed in day to day life, because, city) and do a lap of the outer ring road. Took me maybe 40 minutes, but it was just so serene. On and off ramps empty, you’d encounter a taxi at the lights, some overnight couriers, sometimes a few tuners racing on the two lane highways. Everything was in a flow, car hummed along at 2000rpm, shadows of the streetlights pulsing across the dashboard, some electronica bass thumping in the depths of the trunk. Leaving the city lights behind for the darker sections of the ring outside the suburbs, then taking a certain bridge over a little ridge and there she laid, spread out across the valley with her arteries glowing orange and the dark mountain ranges in the background. Taking my usual exit, turning right twice, carefully balancing the lowered Audi over the unrelentingly steep curb of our apartment complex and then the blinding neon light when I hit the door opener for the garage entrance. Stepping out of the car back in the garage, exhaust crackling, my steps echoing, those were moments when everything was alright with the world. Always slept well after that.
I get it. I love the transitional state of being between here and there, all by myself in a linear tunnel of what was a few moments ago and what is going to happen next, free to watch the world go by with no foreseeable potpourri of possibilities until I arrive. Then we’ll see. Until then, I’m driving.
Traditional State - Could not formulate that more perfectly. Didn’t know how to describe this feeling until now
Yes I always drive the longest tours possible and listen to music. It is incredibly relaxing. And I often play it to get ready for sleep. But also Finalfantasy and other games aren’t my thing. Everyone has different preferences
That sounds like a great time. Maybe I’ll give the truck sim games a fair shake. Is there any you recommend? Looks like there’s a lot of them on Steam
I really recommend Eurotruck Simulator 2. It’s really great and affordable. SCS-Software is a great studio that listenes to the Community. Nothing is overpriced and it’s really great quality wise
