40, cis, never been sexually active.
I feel like I’m crazy for even asking this. When I try to google for anything about anxiety from not masturbating, all I get are a) results about anxiety/guilt from masturbating, b) articles about how women shouldn’t feel inhibited from masturbation (which is great, mind you, but not what I’m looking for), c) things about social/relationship things with regard to masturbation, d) alt-right #nofap propaganda, and e) just stuff that seems completely irrelevant to what I’m talking about. I just generally haven’t had any luck finding any similar experiences or information about anything remotely like this online.
But I feel like I’ve been caught in a vicious cycle for a while now. I randomly skip a day or two, feel demotivated, and end up not masturbating for a week or more just because I’m so depressed and anxious and completely not in any sort of mood to do so. A part of me has thought that maybe it’s just natural that at 40 my sex drive should be lower, but every time I start masturbating daily again, my mood improves until the next time I skip for a day or two and the doldrums take hold.
I don’t think this is any kind of OCD thing where I’m making myself anxious by obsessing that I’m not horny or that I’m not masturbating either.
This isn’t new, really. I’ve known for many years that I get depressed if I don’t masturbate. But it’s much more pronounced now than it used to be by a long shot.
Another thing I wonder is whether this might be an indicator of low T. I’ve heard some sources say (though they’re mostly drowned out by the cacophony of bro-science #nofap bullshit to the contrary) that masturbation does boost testosterone, at least acutely. Maybe (lots of speculation here, but) masturbating regularly keeps my baseline testosterone levels closer to normal than not masturbating does and if I don’t masturbate for a while, my testosterone levels dip lower for longer periods, worsening symptoms. And if that’s the issue, maybe TRT would be warranted. (IANAD. Can you tell?)
It’s just really weird how the whole internet doesn’t seem to know that’s a thing that can be, but it’s a major part of my day-to-day experience.
Is this anything that anyone here can relate to or give any insight into at all?
This is probably a question for your doctor.
Mmmm I’m a primary care doctor and I wouldn’t worry about low T. It’s natural for it to go down with age and the data doesn’t really support TRT. A lot of guys are obsessed with their testicles, sex drive, etc. though so they ask for useless testing.
I’m not your doctor so take this all with a grain of salt since I can’t evaluate you through social media but how’s your mental health? Maybe you’re self medicating with masturbation. Probably best to follow up with your PCP.
I’m the same way. Gotta perform preventative maintenance at least every couple of days, if not every day. Hasn’t been a problem for the last 15 years, so I don’t worry about it.
The body is just electrically powered meat, you do what you gotta do. If it doesn’t have a noticeable negative impact, why fuss about it? It’s pretty much the only thing you can do to feel good for absolutely free.
Sounds normal to me. Good habits help with good days.
But every day, though? Even when I kindof don’t even want to? Or else everything’s shitty?
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation_frequency_and_prostate_cancer
“Compared to men who reported 4–7 ejaculations per month across their lifetimes, men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer.”
https://ubiehealth.com/doctors-note/how-to-masturbate-stress-relief-benefits-57-health2e11
This one isn’t as easy to sum up in a single quote like the Harvard study, but it speaks to a lot of the points you’ve made about your personal experience and is worth reading based on the concerns you’ve expressed.
Firing the gravy cannon on a daily basis is unironically healthy for you. I would not worry about something being wrong with you because you experience negative health effects from abstaining; the medical research on the subject suggests it is within normal human functioning to experience positive health effects from regularly thumb wrestling the one eyed sea monster. Finally, because the opportunity so rarely presents itself to make masturbation jokes in a supportive way, consider the following:
I dunno. I do all kinds of things every day. Breathing, eating, going for a brisk walk. Three balls of “The Who” pinball.
I just try to make time for habits that work for me.
Wait am i reading this right: you get depressed when you dont masturbate? For me it’s completely opposite : immediately after bein done everything looses colors and becomes grey lol.
Thats why i often dont finish when having sex, i dont want the depression afterward
