I feel myself getting more misanthropic by the minute. The compassion I have for my fellow man erodes and only rage and envy remains as my situation gets worse and worse wrt to work and neurodivergence. I feel as if nobody can help me, not my partner, not some therapist, not the union at work and especially not some manager or HR person. I am just not built for this world, I doubt I would be able to thrive under socialism either, I am way too broken for this shit. I just want to get laid off and do drugs all day while rotting away, I am so fucking tired. Even if I get an autism assessment I doubt that I will be able to get more remote days at work, those people cannot fathom how debilitating going to the office every day is for me. They actually like and welcome RTO (at least the union reps do). I can’t understand them at all. They can’t understand me. I am too socially exhausted to try to reach them. What is left for me except becoming another person cast away by the rest of humanity. I don’t know. I am sorry for dooming like this, but I can’t bother the closest people to me with this anymore, I am afraid I might turn them away.