Good thing spreadsheets are one of my kinks then.

They do have a point though, the only person that can truly validate your identity is you.

I transitioned at 40. Easily the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s never too late. Happy to answer anything you might wonder.

Because many of us don’t view ourselves as having ever been the other gender. I was never male, but I was strongly encouraged by society to present and act as though I was so I did. It’s not “painful” it’s incorrect and a frustrating assumption.

It makes it sound like I either chose to switch, or something happened that switched me. Neither are true. I have ALWAYS been female, I just didn’t allow myself to show that to anyone outwardly until I transitioned.

That’s the neat think, they don’t.

Yep, I’ve found it really comes down to setting the right intentions up front, and being selective in who you play with. My goal was never to be on Grindr forever, but that’s where I had to go to meet fun kinky trans people in my area.

You know horses aren’t native to North America and were brought over by the Europeans right? Horses are only a brief part of their history.

No, I don’t count hookups as relationships, especially not long term relationships. But when they turn into significantly more than that, I do. I don’t need to defend my relationships though.

My definition is relationships I’ve been in for a good while that I intend to stay in. Why the personal attacks though? Seems pretty rude for no reason.

You’d be surprised… I currently have two LTRs that started as Grindr hookups…

Someone can’t get catgirls to pay attention to them… I feel sorry for you.

I’m always looking for a fun little project, I could dev that into a desktop app or website if you wanted.

I started at 39, and two and a half years in am starting to see more of the results I want. It takes time, but it only gets better from where you are at.

I’ll start giving them two weeks when they start giving people two weeks after they fire them.

It is! That was SO unexpected to me. I thought I was choosing to be alone :( Nope, more love in my life than there has ever been!

Meow :3

That depends on a lot of things. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren’t.

It works because my partners aren’t completely dependent on me for emotional and physical needs. I am able to focus on the parts of relationships I want or need, and my partners are free to find the same with others.

If I’m having a bad day I have three people I can count on to love and support me, and I’m able to celebrate my successes three times. I’m almost never alone in supporting my partners and that helps take so much pressure off me and the relationship.

There’s also absolutely no energy wasted worried if someone is cheating on me, instead I feel great for them when they find a partner that they really like. Poly is different than what most people are used to, but it’s really working for me and my partners.

Yes, that is exactly how I felt. Looking back it’s obvious I was just exceptionally good at playing the role I felt I had to though. I was good at it because it was all I knew how to be. I had practiced it forever, it was what had become comfortable for me.

What I didn’t realize was that wasn’t normal to have to try that hard. I was great at pretending to be a man, at acting like people expected me to, at playing the role.

I thought that’s how transitioning would feel, that I would have to learn how to pretend to be female. Except I didn’t, and it was much more about accepting myself and dropping the act than it was learning how to be someone else.

I am just me now. I’m not pretending to be anything, I’m not trying to be what anyone else wants. It doesn’t matter if anyone thinks I make a “good” or a “bad” woman anymore. It matters that I love who I am, I’m comfortable in my body, and I have hope for the future.

All of those really hit home, but that last one… I felt for 20 years that transitioning was something others got to do, but that for some reason I couldn’t. I never questioned why but I always felt like I wouldn’t be allowed to. I just assumed my body wasn’t right for it, or I was just making up that desire to mask other problems I had.

Now I see that it’s not like I thought it was at all, that the only person that was actually stopping me was myself. Anyone can transition, there’s no certain way you have to look, no specific background you have to have. What it takes is desire and bravery.