And at least two related certs.

When you are a grown up you don’t realize you are watching your parents die.

Alternately, if you dry your meat with a duck it will promote the Mallard Reaction.

Had a dude tell me he wanted to ‘disrupt’ social media by creating a LinkedIn alternative that allowed posting videos.

He just needed a couple ‘techies’ like me to get it off the ground.

Haven’t heard from him in a while. I hope rehab worked out for him.

Wash your hands in the bathroom, nobody bats an eye.

Scrub down your belt buckle in the sink and people lose their minds!

I can only imagine the shit show that would commence if I put Linux on my mom’s laptop

Mom sms: It’s asking for permissions again, I forgot my password!

Me: It’s in the notebook, mom.

Mom: I can’t find the notebook!

Me: Last I saw it, it was on the coffee table.

Mom: Found it!

…

Mom: It doesn’t work!

Me: Are you looking at the brown notebook or the pink one?

Mom: Yes!

Me: Yes what? Are you in?

Mom: Yes, I have a notebook and the password doesn’t work!

Repeat forever.

I remember I had a date with a girl back in the’10s. We hit it off and got back to her place. Wanted to show her a funny Internet video.

She brought out an ancient laptop that refused to boot and said her Ex had tried to fix it with Linux.

I got it pointed at the right dependencies, she fellated me as it updated.

I think this is my only sexy story that includes Linux.

Well, I guess there was this one time I loaned a lonely neighbor DOS 6 disks.

But, that does not include Linux.