I won the UCL with Everton, Dobbin scored in the final.

I don’t need to apply, they can just offer me the job based on that.

I’ll be sad if Richie goes to Saudi, he deserves better.

And by better I mean come back to Everton pls pls pls

Goal of the season.

Are we back? Is this what back is again? Are we not bad now?

You’d probably get a free kick for that, bit harsh for a penalty though.

I know foul criteria should be the same everywhere, but we all know it’s not.

Broke: The League want to deduct points to relegate us

Woke: The League want to deduct points to stop us charging up the table and winning the title

50 goals Dom, let’s gooooo!

The most annoying part is that even if we get the deduction, it won’t just be over. Since the league okayed it at the time, we’ll end up in a long legal battle, probably lose even more money, and maybe get relegated somewhere along the way.

JUST ONE NORMAL DAY PLEASE. ONE.

It’s a shame that these stats ignore cup games, it’d make us look boss :(

…well, except for the 4-0, that’s less boss.

Keane is some kind of double agent, I’m convinced.

I’m predicting that we’ll actually finish higher than 16th. I know we’ve been kinda crap recently, but I’m confident we’ll get 2nd.