For years, scientists have long wondered, can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual”, and the answer is yes, you can, so long as it is preceded by seven “What’s New Pussycat”'s.

Famously, people who are out of work don’t need help affording food.

yup, I’ve been on a job hunt for over a year now and SNAP was keeping me fed, so it looks like I’ll be surviving on saltines and noodles for the foreseeable future.

Oh sure, just rub it in why don’t you.

Violence is not the answer, violence is a question to which the answer is y e s

My Summer Car isn’t even really a racing game, it’s a Finland simulator that happens to involve fixing a car. And it’s also possibly the best “actions have consequences” game. An example: There is a local drunk you can sell booze to, who will regularly call you and ask for a ride home from the pub. Spoilers follow.

the best racing/driving game I know is Motor Town: Behind the Wheel.

Don’t let the graphics fool you. Check out nexusmods, get the most popular ones and hoon to your hearts content – it’s not quite as deep as BeamNG or My Summer Car (which I also recommend, but they are not my favorites), but you can do some very goofy shit (1000HP EV engine in a go-kart is a personal favorite). Plus there’s tons more to do besides just races. It looks like a deceptively simple game, it is not.

Been here for over a decade

My deepest condolences.

Returning to your roots, I see.

of course not, we all respect our local mothfucker

Oh, honey, the way things are going, nobody will be.

Maybe more. Imagine.

I’m not sure whether I’m more impressed or disturbed by the amount of thought you’ve given this

funderstandable, thank you for the explanation

Must your climax be fueled by our frustrations?

Maybe that’s exactly what gets him off.

global warming at this rate absolutely does have the potential to extinct us, no matter how cool we think we are. Tenacity and versatility will only carry you so far when you fuck up nature so badly that all the things you’d eat for food are themselves extinct or almost extinct. At the point we were down to a few thousand individuals, I should imagine that the climate not being super hyper mega fucked helped immensely in ensuring those people had adequate food – you aren’t going to be running down a deer (or a rabbit, or any other wild game) in the post-climate-apocalypse world if all the deer are dead because the food chain supporting the deer population collapsed. You aren’t going to be farming because extreme weather variations will make it impossible, you might be in for a drought or a monsoon and you’ll certainly not have accurate weather forecasting to go off of by that point. Foraging? I sure hope none of the various food chains and water cycles supporting the growth of forage-able food has collapsed either (they probably will). Fishing? Ocean acidity, microplastics, and global warming are all fighting to be the thing that kills that off, take your pick.

I’m just saying, we can make this so much more funny than a single banner at the top of a single article. We can make multiple, legitimately-needed Wikipedia articles about Donald Trump’s horseshit, I want to see some wikipedia editor try and say “no not like that!”

Nah, by category could be funnier. “Statements contradicted by science”, “Statements contradicted by basic economics”, “Statements later directly contradicted by Trump”

I don’t wish for this to happen, mind you, but we are clearly living in the dumbest possible timeline, and so it is the only solution that makes sense

at this point I’m fully expecting the only thing that keeps us from extincting ourselves with global warming is almost extincting ourselves with nuclear winter.