jacab [he/him]

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: November 10th, 2023

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  • not sure if it’s technically correct to call it a gender norm per se, but the way in which cishet men are conditioned to approach personal relationships with other cishet men in general can be very frustrating. i think it’s sort of a compounding effect of various societal norms regarding what is considered “masculine and respectable” that causes a lot of friendships amongst men, and amongst cishet men especially, to be very shallow and impersonal. relationships like this are often more socially draining than anything else, and it just creates this depressing culture of emotionally illiterate men who only talk to other emotionally illiterate men.

    on a personal level, it’s straightforward enough now for me to recognize shallow friendships and to build deeper ones, but i fear that because i grew up within that culture prior to gaining awareness of the patriarchy or the privilege i have in society, i have internalized enough of it that i still haven’t learned to open up enough and be as good of a friend as i want to be.










  • I’m in a similar position. I’d love to go back to school for a number of reasons, but I just cannot get to the point of committing to doing so since I strongly suspect that it will mentally annihilate me. And in the end, I will just have quit a decent job, lost a shit ton of money and what’s left of my self-confidence and hope after flunking/dropping out from the stress.

    I think in my case it has to at least partially just be self doubt and a fear of failure, and who knows maybe the structure and routine of living on campus would actually help, but I just don’t know.

    Has anyone had a notably positive or at least unexpectedly tolerable experience in postsecondary school and have some tips/info about it?