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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: August 3rd, 2023

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  • Generate a reply to a fediverse comment. The comment expresses agreement and laments the rise of this soulless and parodic facsimile of creativity which furthers the social and economic devaluation of a profession whose practitioners are already frequently characterized as “starving”. Amiable yet embittered tone, melancholic tone, eloquent but a little overwrought, high quality, faded colors, style of Greg Rutkowski.


  • The door refused to open. It said, “Five cents, please.”

    He searched his pockets. No more coins; nothing. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” he told the door. Again he tried the knob. Again it remained locked tight. “What I pay you,” he informed it, “is in the nature of a gratuity; I don’t have to pay you.”

    “I think otherwise,” the door said. “Look in the purchase contract you signed when you bought this conapt.”

    In his desk drawer he found the contract; since signing it he had found it necessary to refer to the document many times. Sure enough; payment to his door for opening and shutting constituted a mandatory fee. Not a tip.

    “You discover I’m right,” the door said. It sounded smug.

    From the drawer beside the sink Joe Chip got a stainless steel knife; with it he began systematically to unscrew the bolt assembly of his apt’s money-gulping door.

    “I’ll sue you,” the door said as the first screw fell out.

    Joe Chip said, “I’ve never been sued by a door. But I guess I can live through it.”

    Ubik








  • Yes, you get it. Speaking as a software engineer, users need to adapt their behavior to accommodate the product, not the other way around.

    It’s impossible to account for every fanciful scenario or ethical edge case - remember, software exists in a vacuum of pure logic. So if a braindead algorithm dredges up a painful memory of yours every year and tactlessly features it alongside a lighthearted quip from the marketing team, it’s nobody’s fault.

    Well, it’s your fault for not avoiding Facebook on that day. What I mean is, it’s not my fault and it’s not Facebook’s fault, whatever that means. It’s just the computer doing its thing.

    Just kidding!!! I am using sarcasm to express my contempt for this mentality! It is correct to criticize tech companies for catastrophic UX failures! I believe it is in very poor taste to offer workarounds in reply to an anecdote like this!