sunshinesoul [they/them]

Hi im ciel

  • 2 Posts
  • 10 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 11th, 2024

help-circle
  • same cw’s as post, spoilering just in case

    To start, I am not a professional, I have just been on the receiving end of a lot of crisis-related psychiatric care.

    From my own personal experience, it may be worth it to consider writing down a safety plan with your loved one if this hasn’t been done already. Usually when I’ve done it in the past it’s consisted of ways to keep myself safe (which you are already tackling,) reminders of distraction methods and coping skills, a list of trusted people to contact in a crisis situation, and reminders of why life is worth living (i.e, i am loved, i need to outlive [hated politician or public figure,] etc.) this may not be for everyone however.

    Is there a cabinet in the kitchen you can secure with a lock? I am not sure if it would be enough to deter breaking the whole cabinet open in this specific case, but you could keep knives in there and even the medications if you wish. Maybe even put the meds in a small safe inside the locked cabinet for an extra layer of security if you end up getting one. I obviously don’t know the specifics of what’s accessible in your home, but it’s also worth thinking about securing objects that aren’t necessarily the preferred method of harm but could be used to achieve the same outcomes (i.e, if you are locking up prescription medications to prevent abuse or an overdose, are there any over the counter medications that are around that could still be used in a harmful manner?)

    I am glad your loved one is on the path to healing, collaboration is key and it seems like you’re already doing a great job of it.


  • i am a professional artist (and maybe this makes me a bit out of touch,) assuming that it’s for personal use and not for profit at all, i would rather have someone take my work into photoshop/gimp/krita/whatever and trace it near directly or make edits to it to fit their vision than have that person go spend money to further refine The Slop Machine. other artists may have differing opinions on this but since generative AI has gotten popular i just simply do not care anymore as long as my work isn’t being fed to train image models. hell, if you’re tracing someone else’s work using tools on paper, that’s still building muscle memory and linework skill and while not the ideal scenario it’s doing more for you than you might think. with generative AI you are paying to generate an image based off countless images that already existed from artists that were not paid for their work to be included in the model. is that…not capitalistic or not at the very least exploitative?


  • not a stupid suggestion at all and once i have the finances i will most likely be getting my hands on one. i ran into a super cool cane a few years back at a thrift store that was wood-carved, but it was way too tall for me and i’ve been wanting a similar one ever since haha. a lot of my shame around my cane usage just stems from self-invalidation and feeling like i’m “not disabled/in pain enough” to justify using a mobility aid, which is something i’ve been trying to address and work through but i still have a long way to go. i appreciate the kind words and advice!



  • haven’t been doing too hot for the past week or so. had a few sober days, won’t get into specifics, but i definitely am capable of better. i’ve been going to my IOP program consistently without missing days this whole month so that’s a win in my book

    my plan for this week is to spend more time out of the house. i am unemployed and in between semesters which has kinda been an excuse to just… rot forever for the past 2 1/2 months. not sure what to do specifically (walk, go for a drive somewhere, etc) but regardless it’ll be a change.



  • leg pain has been pretty bad lately aggravated by the weather so i’m stuck using my cane more than i’ve had to in almost a year :') also having to deal with a lot of brain fog from my mental health medication and it makes me feel like i can’t type a coherent sentence so there’s that too. we push through i guess

    not sure how to tag this but could be needed? a lot of self-loathing/invalidation ig

    ive been dealing with this issue for 9 years and i still havent mentally accepted that its going to affect my everyday life at least through the near future. i walked in to my psychiatric IOP program the other day with my cane (the first time i ever used it there, short walk from the parking lot means i dont need it 95% of the time in that building) and the looks i got from the other clients ive come to trust just made me … embarrassed? i guess it was just jarring for people to see for the first time but i cant help but shake the fact that they think less of me now or that they think i’m doing it for attention? a couple of my ex long-term friends used to poke fun at my cane usage and call me a “grandpa” etc so that experience definitely hasn’t helped idk.