towhee [he/him]

  • 3 Posts
  • 30 Comments
Joined 13 days ago
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Cake day: November 7th, 2025

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  • Some good quotes in here:

    The CSIS officer began with simple questions but soon turned to the agency’s true interest: whether the Innu were being influenced by communist countries in eastern Europe.

    Up to that point, CSIS officials saw the unrest and violence rocking a few First Nations communities as “essentially criminal” in nature, thus an issue for the police rather than the security service, but Kanehsatà:ke changed their views.

    “CSIS HQ decided Native activities had become ‘political’ and a level two targeting authorization was sought to ascertain the nature of violence associated with aboriginal land claims disputes,” SIRC reported on Jan. 30, 1991.

    If you say the west has political police they’ll look at you like you grew an extra head, and yet -






  • Depressive episodes go up for me any time after a long break from ordinary life (including vacation, even). For me, so much about depression revolves around being unable to summon the motivation to do anything, which causes further depressed thoughts, which further depresses motivation. Breaking out of that loop is hard, and it takes time to get back in a routine that supports good mental health. I guess what I’m saying is that “momentum” matters for doing things; if I’ve been doing things, it’s easier for me to do more things.

    As far as things peaking in the evening, that’s a classic. My spouse calls it my “10 pm ruminations” where I’ll find myself staring at the wall for a while then say something like “maybe I should [action that would completely change the direction of my entire life]”. I don’t know if that’s depression necessarily, just ordinary human existential angst.




  • It didn’t play too large a role in the election as compared to NYC. People mostly don’t like how Harrell ran the city and even his supporters struggle to muster much to say in support of him. Her general campaign branding was about being a relatively young renter living in cap hill who has actually ridden a bus before. I hope she does well but like most cities, everything revolves around real estate which is an inherently reactionary force.





  • I’m white so whatever I write here should be taken through that lens. I also work in programming.

    Your situation honestly does suck. I’m not going to tell you to have a more holistic view of yourself because I know what it is like to really value a few talents you have. Giving that up is psychologically difficult and probably not the easiest way to address the situation.

    Being talented and having decent opinions are basically orthogonal traits. Both extremes exist; people I know IRL can talk thoughtfully for hours about all sorts of topics but are demonstrably fucking useless at executive functioning to the point where they should not be in any position of leadership. And some people are just very talented but have absolutely shit opinions. However, the Dr. House style brilliant asshole archetype is not a desirable thing to be.

    So for programming, we have this rather idiotic idea that our profession is about “hitting the high notes” or something and you either have the talent to do it or you don’t. Junior developers (I don’t know what phase of your career you’re in) are heavily inundated with this messaging. You have to be absolutely cracked, you have to be a hacker experimenting with all this random shit in side projects, whatever. The reality is very different. There is way, way more worthwhile work in this field than we have the labor power to do (speaking in terms of “software that I dream should exist” rather than present labor market conditions). If you’re an absolutely cracked programmer you can maybe do a few times as much work over your lifetime as someone else. Maybe even ten times; I’m not a denier that in particular contexts, some people are ten times more productive than their coworkers. I’ve been on both sides of that multiplier!

    However, vanishingly little work in this field requires you to “hit the high notes”. The sort of work that does require it is largely sorted away for PhDs and researchers to handle. Even then, researchers are usually not anomalously talented; they’ve just worked at & thought about something for a very long time.

    The world we try to address & automate with software is so unbelievably complicated that there is no substitute for just grinding away at the problem for a long time and addressing all the unforeseeable issues that arise. If you engage with a problem for long enough you will match or surpass your coworkers’ talents in this domain. Maybe they’ve just been wrestling with the problem for long enough that they have a brute force encyclopedic knowledge of all the possible ways things can go wrong. That’s the real thing you want to acquire, and you will acquire it. It comes over time.

    As far as the injustice you feel with the present state of things, where your racist coworkers are more knowledgeable than you: understand that you have the same capabilities as them, and your knowledge will fill in with time. That is probably not much of a comfort. But truly, they are not inherently better than you in a way that matters.