I don’t really do anything worthwhile. Or at least that is what it sounds like when it is talked about. “You didn’t have to do that” “you don’t feel like that do you” I must really not be good at anything, and I really did think I was helping. But I guess I should keep to what I am good at, being in the way.
I have what I need, a place so no one will need to deal with clean up, and I have the know how. Courage is the thing I need and let me tell you my courage grows everyday.
I will probably delete this when I wakeup in the morning because I am a coward, but soon I will have the strength and need the relief enough.
Have you considered moving somewhere very different? I suspect from what you just said there are some negative influences in your current space
Considered it not really an option right now unfortunately.
Why not?
I know you are trying to help, and I don’t mean any disrespect, but you are going to have to take my word for it.
Ok. Fair enough. Just thought I possibly could offer some ideas.
I understand, and I am sorry about shooting that down it is just too complicated and it is late, I am really tired, I really am grateful, I just don’t have much bandwidth left.
It’s okay. I hope you feel better. I really do.
If I could I think I would hug you, you are the first person to talk to me, not at me, thanks!
I hope that didn’t sound like “I know how you feel”. It’s hard to not come off the wrong way. I only wanted you to know you aren’t alone and that I wanted to avoid the cliches and platitudes. Maybe those help some people but for myself, not so much.
I am glad it felt that way. I wanted to be real with you. I know how it feels to be in a really dark place. It’s the absolute worst. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.