A majority of younger veterans said they feel uncomfortable when they are told “thank you for your service,” a new poll found.

Ahead of Veterans Day on Saturday, a survey found disparities between young military members and their older counterparts in how they prefer to be recognized for their service.

Among younger military members and veterans — age 18 to 29 — 70 percent said they feel uncomfortable or awkward when they are thanked for their service. Only 24 percent of older members, 65 years and up, say the same, the Endeavor Analytics and YouGov poll found.

“This data shows that military service members and our veterans want Americans to go beyond small talk to connect with them on a deeper level, including learning more about their service, honoring each veteran’s service in ways in which they feel comfortable talking about it,” Robert F. Whittle Jr., retired Army major general and United Services Automobile Association (USAA) chief of staff, said in a statement.

  • atzanteol@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    150
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    1 year ago

    It’s a weird thing to do. The lionization of the military is unhealthy for a democracy.

    Thank a teacher, doctor, scientist or firefighter instead.

  • RattlerSix@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    91
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’ve always thought it was more for the person doing the thanking wanting everyone around know they’re more patriotic than everyone else

  • trash80@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    87
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I think veterans want to reintegrate into society and being recognized and thanked makes them feel “othered” rather than respected and appreciated.

    • gregorum@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      This sounds like the most concise description of the experience

      • Cannibal_MoshpitV3@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        23
        ·
        1 year ago

        “I was trained to be a killer for 8 weeks, and was nothing but for 21 years. I was given 2 weeks to become a civilian again.”

        -MSgt Brad “Iceman” Colbert

        (Apologies if not fully accurate, I’d have to go find the interview again)

  • MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    68
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    34 here, I absolutely hate being told thank you for my service and generally don’t reveal I was in the military if I can avoid it. I have no interest in being associated with the crowd of morons happy to send other people’s kids to war and then refuses to take care of them when they come back.

    • MycoBro@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      25
      ·
      1 year ago

      Every time I see someone with one of those fucking hats on (you know the ones) it makes me cringe so hard. Like those dudes who get there basic training company tattooed on their arm, or even worse, a combat patch tattoo hahaha. You now how many fucking boots got first cav tattoos after deployment? Lol. POGs everyone of them.

        • MycoBro@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          The hats that say “Vietnam vet” or “first cav” or have an OIF ribbon on it or whatever

          • andrewta@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            Why would Vietnam vet hat make you cringe? Those guys got spat on when they came home. If they want to wear a hat now why not?

            After you left service maybe you put your time behind you, and that’s fine. But why would a Vietnam vet hat make you cringe?

            • MycoBro@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              There is no hate in my cringe but the cringe is real. There is an entire “boot” culture you aren’t aware of. Trust me on this one.

      • Maggoty@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Eh, they can have a purpose. If you don’t want anyone to talk to you then you wear the dirty salt stained one. Or if you’re tired of people assuming your service dog is fake then put on a nice clean one. Instantly 100% less questions about “why do you have a dog?”

  • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    62
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Hell I’m 50 and I hate that shit. It’s the most pandering, “thought and prayers” bs since “thoughts and prayers”

  • Weirdfish@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    48
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    So do plenty of us older ones. I worked in a hospital state side, I wasn’t G.I. Joe.

    • be_excellent_to_each_other@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yep, I don’t like it one bit when said to me, and the one time I said it to a much younger vet I’d met I immediately felt uncomfortable having said it. (And I think he was uncomfortable too.)

      I joined up because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, enjoyed a brief flare of patriotism during and after bootcamp, learned some marketable skills, hated being in by the time I’d been in a year, and got back out as soon as I could to get paid for those skills as a civilian.

      Yeah it sucked, and I guess I’m glad that folks appreciate that it sucked, but no one should thank me personally for it. It was my choice to join, and I did it primarily due to a lack of other good options.

      I appreciate the veterans that have come after, but generally find the military worship at certain concerts and such to be a bit over the top.

      • Maggoty@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        See? This is exactly what the article is talking about. Most people join up to do a job. They don’t get to decide if that job is done in Korea or Iraq. The politicians decide that.

  • CADmonkey@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    42
    ·
    1 year ago

    Im not a younger veteran, but I’ve learned not to tell anyone that I am. I don’t want people to thank me for stuff Im ashamed of from 20 years ago.

    • Ænima@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Well if you’re not one, why would you tell someone that you are a young veteran? They can probably tell unless you age backwards like Benjamin Button.

      Sorry, couldn’t resist.

      For what it’s worth, I’m a 39-year-old veteran and also dislike being thanked for my service. I just don’t know how to respond to it. I feel like, “you’re welcome” or, “no problem” is not appropriate. I also don’t know how to respond to most complements.

      • klugerama@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        For a few years now, I’ve replied with “Thank you for your support.” However I think I may start adding something like “You should look up wounded warriors and make a donation, they’re the ones that really need it.” Or some other org for disabled vets.

  • halferect@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    1 year ago

    It’s always been weird, it’s a job, do you tell the Starbucks employee that serves our country and helps keep the American economy going “thank you for your service”? It would make sense if we didn’t have a volunteer military but we do so it’s the same as thanking anyone for the job they do if they see you in your work uniform

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      1 year ago

      I only say it to bus drivers because they are the thin khaki line that stands between peace and total societal collapse

    • Maggoty@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Even when it’s more than a job think about what you’re actually encapsulating in such a mundane phrase. People lost friends, limbs, even their sanity, and so much of society thinks hearing “Thank You” is all vets need.

      Then the VA is falling apart, claims are a mental health problem themselves, and getting care in some of the hospitals is a battle itself. But it’s all okay because someone said thank you.

      At a certain age group it also comes off a bit insulting in that they didn’t sign up during wartime. But they were sent to a war because of a massive amount of lies.

    • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      I do thank my local coffee shop for keeping me sane and alive during COVID lockdown when I was working night stock.

    • prole@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Do you already forget all of the “thank you for your service” things for first responders during COVID?

    • Ænima@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      And you know they probably paid those taxes cause a capitalist wouldn’t be caught dead thanking a veteran outside of making them money, sadly.

      • YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Military members would say that because of the type of people in the 2000s who would thank every military member, they also would claim taxes are theft. They are also the type that now support Trump and hate the military.

  • Eezyville@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    31
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I feel uncomfortable when people thank me for my service and I wasn’t even in the military. I was a civilian working for the Air Force and it’s on my resume so I’m always thanked at interviews. It’s always so shallow, like a greeting.

    “Hi! How’s your day? Thank you for your service!”

    “No I didn’t fight. I was a civilian doing engineering work in support.”

    • rockSlayer@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      I’ve been in veteran circles, including qualifying for USAA benefits due to the service of family. I think he’s pretty accurate. Combat vets want a compassionate person to listen to their traumatic experiences, because most people use it as a thoughtless phrase to say, like saying thanks for someone opening a door. Most people saying it don’t want to know about the horrors they’ve seen. I’ve seen it in all of my family members and several friends that served in combat, they just want to be heard. The VA does what it can, but they need more funding to provide good therapists to vets.

      The other vets that don’t like it usually didn’t serve in a combat role and don’t feel like they deserve it.

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I suppose I’d be interested in finding out what they did in the military but if they just want to buy some beer then I’m not gonna bother them.

      Of course if they didn’t wander around wearing military fatigues it wouldn’t come up.

      • Null User Object@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        As a veteran, I can’t help but imagine that a lot of the people I see wearing military paraphernalia were never in the military. I’ll only believe that you were/are in the military if you’re in full uniform with everything in the right place/position as only someone that is/was in the military would know how to do.

      • Maggoty@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Fun fact. If you’re not in a rural area where that’s the fashion, and they’re obviously not actually wearing it as a uniform, (complete set, patches on, etc) they’re likely homeless. Or at least poor enough to need clothing hand outs.

    • Skwerls@discuss.tchncs.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Seriously, talk about jumping to conclusions. Maybe younger vets know that the more recent wars have been a farce and aren’t excessively proud of doing it, not like they get a choice in the matter.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    30
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I was at a doctor’s office and an old guy was wearing a cap for his naval boat and someone else had to go over and shake his hand and thank him for his service. You’re at a doctor’s office! Don’t fucking shake people’s hands!

  • runjun@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    29
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    It’s extremely uncomfortable. I got thanked on base while I was in PT gear buying alcohol.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    1 year ago

    Or we could treat them like people and not revere a shitty job they had in their early 20s. Idk that’s what my veteran friends seem to prefer

      • prole@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I think that’s a big difference. These weren’t lads off fighting fascism in France and liberating concentration camps in Poland. Many of them were the tip of the spear of an illegal, immoral invasion that, retrospectively, has become toxic to have ever supported (unless you’re a Republican, then nobody cares).

        Lucky for some current military folks in countries that still have functioning liberal democracies, you guys may have a chance to return the favor (that is, killing fascist scum) in the US within the next decade or so.