Worked a lot as a child and barely played. Missed out on lots of personality development. I have more free time now and I want to play, but I don’t totally understand how.
I was told when I have something fun to do, learn to fail the marshmallow test and just immediately eat the marshmallow. I feel paralyzed. I’m used to playing only if I’m invited by someone else to play, and I want to play more when I’m alone.
So far I sometimes draw and read a fun book. Both usually make me anxious, but they bring me feelings of accomplishment.
I also had a very repressed childhood. The only escape I had was reading. I’m very sorry to hear you had to do without such.
Do you have any desire to read fantastic stories? Tabletop roleplaying games are joined with such at the hip.
In many ways D&D is a chance for people to come together and create a fantasy story they write together. All you have to do is create a character you want to pretend to be and play that character in a setting you and people you choose to spend time with create together.
It can be mechanically focused, or less so. Ultimately it’s a structure system everyone navigates together in order to allow the collective imagination to create a series of imagined events together. Some groups like the crunch more, others the fluff more.
Fantasy books are a fun way to put the toes into the water in regards to reading. The stakes are low, the book exists to facilitate your imagination. If you aren’t having fun the author just isn’t a match. That’s nobodies fault and just a reflection of differing tastes.
If you decide you like the idea of pursuing DND, perhaps give the hobbit a peruse? It’s many peoples introduction and to fantasy, and in many ways is the cornerstone of how the public consciousness understands fantasy as a genre.
I’m reading the Cirque de Freak child horror story series. Idk if that counts a fantastical.
In the that case I’m unable to come up with my own story, my backup plan is to take characters, character traits, and stories from other media like games, books, and movies. So even if I can’t come up with my own shit I can still play.
I am uninitiated to that series, are you liking it? It sounds as if you are seeing as it is already providing inspiration.