“Ay, you ever heard of Lemmy? Lemmy get your number?”
I would use this, if I met people IRL that have heard of Lemmy.
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This gives the highest ROI
You can pick up literally anything with this one.
Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven? Because you look pretty fucked up.
A guy on Tinder sent my friend a Patrick meme that said “Is mayonnaise an ice breaker?” I, a big Spongebob nerd, told her to pick that guy. They’re married now.
Are you a beaver? 'Cos DAM
(shoutout to the absolutely fantastic Sophie Corrigan who creates a lot of really beautiful art for bad pun lines like this one)
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend’s house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
??? lmao
“I could pick up girls even in my sleep”
Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
“I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies.”
“If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?”
Now those are pickup lines with some chest hair!
Now, remember the quickest way to a girl’s bed is through her parents.
Have sex with them and you’re in.
Im happy single so one of y’all can have this one.
Are you a cigarette? Cause I wanna get you lit and put your butt in my mouth.
Savage one. If you see two girls in a club, go over and ask the one you are NOT interested in if they’d like to dance. When they say yes, say go on then I’ll keep your friend company.
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Can you get hold of zip ties and how is your stomach for blood?
“I’m here to apply for the position of your Next Bad Decision. My parents always said I was a mistake, so I think that makes me well qualified.”
That’s literally how I got my wife.
I heard one in Spanish that I liked.
“¡Si cocinas como camina me como hasta las raspitas!”
If you cook the way you walk, I’ll eat even the scrapings from the pan.
So…… you’re a girl.
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Oh. So… then are you? Otherwise available?
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Y’ever seen someone solve a Rubik’s cube in just 5 seconds?
Yeah, me neither.
[silently hands over 3d puzzle]
👉👌
Pull my finger.
