Hi. I’m new here. I am a workaholic. When I started to notice my mental decline I was working in very important role at one of the largest companies in the world. All I could see was the end prize, financial freedom. A few years in I knew I was going through health issues because sleeping was rough, I always felt on edge. All I wanted to do was make sure my wife would be set up if I died.
One day I could not take it anymore. I went to a different company. Took less than a week and I had the big one. A complete breakdown. I didn’t know what it was until a friend told me it may be panic attacks.
I got let go in about a year. I’ve been bouncing around jobs since. I get back up, I apply myself, I’m determined; or more like super productive due to stress.
Then I heard about a friend’s spouse who died of cancer. They were younger than myself. It just breaks me with a lot of what-if questions. If this happened to me, I didn’t enjoy life. I just worked. I got little progress to show for it except money in what feels like a doomed economy. I worked to make sure my wife can live an enjoyable life when I am gone. I don’t have a clue how to have fun.
I am now stuck with a lot of what-if questions that don’t have answers. I start my new job in about a week. It’s a good company, pays well, allegedly they care a lot about their employees. I just wish life would slow down enough to process things; deal with the anxiety issues. Now that I can breathe a bit again and about to regain my footing I feel more stressed.
Tl;dr I don’t know how not to have my life revolve around work.
Edit: feel free to offer advice. I’m kind of just in my own anxiety right now.
Therapy and meds sometimes are the answer.
When you reach a point in your life when your anxiety is just too much to handle, get help. My wife suffers the same thing and took too long to realise that was the case. Only when she was really at the bottom then she accepted help. But even then it wasn’t enough for her to accept that she had to take meds. I had to sit her down and say that what she was doing was not only destroying her bit myself as well. Then she really took it seriously and started to really taking the meds. It was a huge improvement. Anxiety probably never disappears but she learned how to handle it and the meds enabled her not to meltdown at every little thing. Long story short: get help asap and your wife is probably suffering as much or even more than you. Don’t be egoistic and treat yourself. As for being a workaholic that’s simple. Find a hobby you like and be a hobbyholic :D
Yeah, I need to make that a priority. Honestly I kept forgetting to take them until tonight. So this is partly my fault. The meds tend to make me really tired. I should probably explore different options for medicine. I’m on medication 7 or so of 8.
Yeah, I think you should explore different options. She had the same problem and eventually found one med that didn’t make her sleepy