“I did not have sectional relations with that futon” -JD Vance, probably
quality pun
JD is a joke but that couch needs to calm down.
Yeah I was judging him harsh until I saw that
You should have seen her at couchella.
No arms were resting on her, if you know what I mean. Doilies off and everything
Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:
https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/
Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”
Bonus if it has a dolphin on it.
In his postage paid contribution return envelopes.
How would one go about acquiring such envelopes? Asking for a friend.
Gyatt damn boy, that couch is thicc
there’s no way this guy makes it all the way to election lol
I predict he’ll drop out, or be forced out, in 2 Scaramuccis
What’s that in Trusses?
For our UK friends, 2 Scaramuccis is ~ 0.5 Trusses. It’s a fairly precise unit of measure. For other international friends, this around 20-22 days.
Nice call back!
At first glance I read that as “erection”, and tbf you’re probably right either way lmao
On a side note, I’m out of the loop on the origins of the couch fucking gag, and am really not sure I want to look it up lol can anyone give me the gist (unless this meme is it, in which case, did someone set him up for this, or is it really just “horny loser confuses sofa for juicy rear”?)
Even the meme sites are better at clearing up misinformation now than most media, lol
Love it, thanks!
What about the cats?
JD Vance having wrote in his book that he fucked a couch is misinformation originating from Twitter, but it is also Lemmy’s shitpost trend of the month.
What made this one special is that AP retracted a fact check on it since it was published without meeting its guidelines and was trying to debunk the wrong question (It was debunking whether Vance fucked a couch instead of whether he wrote in his book that he did). But that fueled the fire to the stupidly hilarious chain of memes.
A random Twitter user made up some bullshit and then everyone thought it was funny and obsessively repeated it. I don’t find it funny or helpful myself, though
But you’re doing it wrong. You have to make juvenile, belittling jokes for your tribe while decrying the belittling, juvenile jokes made by the other tribe.
Good forbid anyone might have a bit of a laugh at the expense of the person who literally wants to get elected in order to opress them.
Some people do not deserve respect. Especially pompous wannabe tyrants.
It’s still not different though, only the perceived righteousness is.
You should have heard what people were saying about Hitler during WW2. They even wrote songs about his testicles. Outrageous disrespect.
Did you think Ted Cruz being the Zodiac Killer was funny?
Yes. Because it was absurd and not at all believable. I never had to Google it to see if it was true or based on truth.
That’s just because the world was less crazy back then. Normally you’d know this was a joke but reality has been so absurd
The world might seem more absurd now, but it is absolutely more believable that he made some awkward remark about couches once that came out weird. So I looked it up and no, just some idiot lying flat out. That’s why it really annoys me people won’t rise an inch above Republicans on this. I mean honestly it barely would be funny if he literally did allude to fucking a couch.
Lol what? I knew immediately he didn’t fuck a couch, and would need proof to believe it. Have better internet hygiene ffs. That’s on you.
At this rate I’m thinking that applies to Trump as well, he looks ready to quit and run to Russia
That is what we said in Ohio when he was running for senate.
I took this meme too seriously
I despise Vance and Trump, the utmost trash of humanity, but this comes from a fake news. I used to see hate from fake news only from Republicans
I have no problem fake news being weaponized against assholes that do nothing but lie and spread fake news.
You should have a problem with that. We should all have a problem with that. We don’t want this to become a battle of which side can make up more ridiculous claims about the other side.
Who cares though?
I’ve fucked some more questionable things around my house.
That’s not a very polite way of speaking about your wife.
I’m confused about all the couch fucking comments.
It’s because of this.
Holy shit the end of that story makes it so much better hahahahah
Vance actually had sectional relations
Holy shit that’s gold.
Nowhere in the book does that anecdote appear — and certainly not on the pages mentioned.
The “journalist” wrote the article without reading the book.
I mean, would you? First of all, it’s far simpler to just do a ctrl-f on various keywords, like “couch”, “sofa”, or wink wink “LOVEseat”. Secondly, they don’t make nearly enough money to willingly poison their minds reading that absolute garbage.
That’s what I found funny about it. It’s something that could have been resolved in an instant of people said either “Yes, it’s on page whatever whatever,” or “We just read it, and no, it’s not there.” It took longer to resolve because of how few people have read it recently, or were willing to read it now.
That is one fuckable looking couch.
Looks like two pushed together to me, but yeah
i feel like im out of the loop on this one
Some dude presented JD Vance original biography where he said he fucked a couch, it was then discredited, then more evidence was presented then discredited. But soon JD outes himself for googling Dolphin, women, fuck on Twitter. So dudes into some kinky shit.
Would you mind clarifying whether he googled “dolphin”, “women”, and “fuck” separately or if it was in one search term? One doesn’t mean anything and one is really creepy
So he made a tweet of a screen shot like “that’s enough internet” and it was like a video of a dolphin having sex with a women. The highlighted words on the screen were dolphin, women, sex. Meaning he googled something with those keywords combined. I’m sure he didn’t google “Women not having sex” with a dolphin…
Ok so that in itself is weird. Let’s also remember these project 2025 people want to ban pornography everywhere, so it could be him trying to find an example of extreme porn to be like “look at the stuff your children can find!”
Reminds me when we were at my nephews 9th birthday party and he wanted to show us all something in YouTube on his Xbox and the last three items in his search history were “boobs” “girl boobs” and “big girl boobs”.
Kid learned an important lesson that day.
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she cute
Very supple looking couch.
it just seems like not a big deal in comparison to everything else happening
ive done way weirder stuff
idk i feel bad making fun about this
ive done way weirder stuff
Well now you need to share about the stuff you did that’s weirder than fucking a couch with an inside-out latex glove between the cushions.
sike haha you fell for it
