• phdepressed@sh.itjust.works
    151·
    8 hours ago

    Transcription:

    My lawyer just called and asked if I was ready for court tomorrow. Said hell, yeah, I ain’t goin’ see I been spending the last 6 months booby trapping my entire 500 acres. I got snake pits, rolling logs, bear traps, I got some straight up Indiana Jones shit. I got a fucking boulder that’ll fall down when you open my front door. 120 coyotes that I trained to bite anything with a crew cut and a badge. I flew an old Vietnamese man or here, he helped me dig about 12 miles worth of underground tunnels. I have 450 cameras. I’ve rigged the solar panels all around this motherfucker. I got a Bengal tiger locked in my fucking bathroom who’d kill for a pork chop right now. You know it’s surprisingly easy to teach a raccoon how to loosen log nuts and cut brake lines. If rather live the rest of my life in these woods living of fucking wild ginseng and creek water than go to fucking jail one more time. I don’t even try bringing no helicopters round here neither like I got a whole fucking coop of pigeons with c4 tied around their feets got a bunch of pvc pipe filled with gunpowder and ball bearings and a baboon who is deadly accurate with a nail gun.

  • riodoro1@lemmy.world
    817·
    1 day ago

    Im not reading those fucking subtitles. Who came out with this epilepsy inducing shit?

    We invented static subtitles fucking ages ago but some social media asshole had to fuck it up with something that constantly moves because teenagers would loose attention and stop reading mid sentence. Fuck those subtitles. Fuck short videos and fuck internet.

    Yeah, Im done.

    • webpack@ani.social
      27·
      24 hours ago

      sometimes I like the constantly changing subtitles when watching funny stuff, I don’t like it when the subtitles shows the whole sentence and gives away the joke before the guy says it (I read fast sometimes)

      • Opisek@lemmy.world
        5·
        11 hours ago

        That! Sometimes the static subtitles are way too long and take away from the fun of watching the movie. It’s an art to find the balance between constantly changing and too static.

  • logos@sh.itjust.works
    26·
    1 day ago

    Word. Since when do country folk support police? They’re always getting in the way of our shenanigans.

    • Entropywins@lemmy.world
      7·
      11 hours ago

      There are baboons that are good with nail guns, 12 miles of underground tunnels, cameras with solar panales, raccoons trained to loosen lug nuts and cut brakelines, something about coyotes, pigeons with c4 strapped to them and our boy ain’t going back to jail.