I remember when calling someone a Karen was a word with a meaning, specifically calling out bigoted white women - those who would punch down. This is the opposite; someone calling out bigotry.
Assuming good faith question: The (false) dichotomy of top/bottom implies a power dynamic in which the bottom is subservient to the top. In reality, it’s often a simple preference and bottoms can domineer just as well as tops. Some prefer it that way. And there’s more than top and bottom. Versatile is the obvious third option (no or changing preference for position) as well as side (prefers non-penetrative sex).
There’s this stereotype (may not be the right word) that extends from the above in that tops are more masculine or powerful by virtue of topping, due to the tie with being dominant. Thus bottoms are more feminine and subservient. All of that is false and represents the gay community in a pretty bad, oversimplified, sexist-somewhere-along-the-line way.
The dom/sub axis is not the same as the top/bottom axis (not really an axis).
Sure, but the joke here is turning the dumb jokes of the homophobes against them, right? Calling a homophobe “haha u’r gay n a bottom” is kinda using their homophobia against them, no?
Also, I’m gay myself. If someone said “haha, u like taking it up the ass”, I would be like, “sure I do!”. Say this to a homophobe n they would be incredibly offended. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But sure, I get why the morals of this aren’t so straightforward.
You aren’t wrong. It’s rather philosophical at that point. There’s the “don’t say it because it’s shitty angle” (quasi-mine, though mine was more a explanation vs a held belief) vs the “take it back from them” angle. Both have pros/cons and I’m not going to pretend I have the ‘perfect’ answer. The truth is probably that whichever is more effective/least damaging probably varies by context.
It’s not just the top/bottom part that’s problematic, it’s the entire post. The punchline is “Trump and Elon are gay for each other, isn’t that funny?” which centers the idea that it would be bad or wrong for them to be gay for each other, perpetuating the conservative stereotype that there’s something wrong with being gay.
We (gay people) have been pointing out the hypocrisy of homophobes with this sort of joke for ages and will continue to do it because it’s fucking hilarious. We are, in doing so, celebrating that it’s wonderful to be gay and sad that they don’t see that or see there at times in-the-closet-like behavior.
The last thing thing I need is a bunch of word police telling me what I can and cannot say.
You know who IS making it seem like there’s something wrong with being gay? People like you.
It’s a dissection of why some people in the LGBT community may be offended. If you’re unwilling to try to see the perspective of others and choose to instead reject empathy, that’s a problem for you and the people around you. This internet stranger will continue to have a good day.
Also, clout? On Lemmy? Oh good, I’ve got the support of all 12 of us…
I don’t think you see the hypocrisy in your own comments.
I never misunderstood that you’re close minded. I’ll even grant that it can be frustrating to feel like you need a formal course on such things and that it changes entirely too fast and that sometimes it all feels like bullshit (ask me about using the term demisexual wrong* on the internet one time). But the world is made better when we work to understand others, which you’ve demonstrated that as being a non-priority for you.
you really can’t see how using sexuality to mock someone you hate is homophobic?
It’s not using sexuality to mock someone. It’s using hypocrisy to mock someone.
You know what’s the same thing? When gay men call each other fags or lesbians dykes. It’s taking what was intended as derogatory and flipping it around to celebrate it. It’s the ideal response to bullying assholes of any kind.
It’s not using sexuality to mock someone. It’s using hypocrisy to mock someone.
I guess it would make it okay to call a black right-winger an N-word and talk about how he can’t swim and only eats chicken and watermelon, then?
When gay men call each other fags or lesbians dykes
and I’m sure you know that not everyone is comfortable doing that because of their lived experiences. it’s awesome that homophobic jokes don’t affect you, but not everyone can distance themselves from them.
I guess it would make it okay to call a black right-winger an N-word and talk about how he can’t swim and only eats chicken and watermelon, then?
If you are black, yes, it would be ok. And many black people do. It’s the exact same defense mechanism.
and I’m sure you know that not everyone is comfortable doing that because of their lived experiences.
Then let them not be comfortable with it and let me and my people alone. Do not try to police my language just because perceive someone somewhere to have experienced some mild discomfort… and why? WHY DO I SAY THIS?
Because honey, they need to arm themselves against that discomfort. You need to have a shield and that shield is OWNING the words. If you let people who use derogatory words own them you have lost power.
Yeah, it is. It reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with a gay homophobe being gay, rather than the problem being that they are a homophobe.
Tell us you are not a gay man without telling us you are not a gay man.
Edit: Probably 85% of my social circle is some delicious flavor of queer. Kinda comes with being queer I guess. We make these jokes in part to normalize this sexuality and to make fun of hypocrites and bullies. It’s the same thing as when the kid in school says “that’s so gay” and you reply “oh really? You wanna get together later?”. This has come up a few times - the sensitivity of some groups to these kinds of jokes - and the conclusion is basically that people who object to them are generally either not queer or insecure about being queer and want to exert control over the conversation either to get cred with the community or to assuage their fears.
#TrumpsTheBottom
Is that why he wears diapers?
This is just homophobia, by the way
Oh please do fuck off with that shit, Karen.
I remember when calling someone a Karen was a word with a meaning, specifically calling out bigoted white women - those who would punch down. This is the opposite; someone calling out bigotry.
How?
Assuming good faith question: The (false) dichotomy of top/bottom implies a power dynamic in which the bottom is subservient to the top. In reality, it’s often a simple preference and bottoms can domineer just as well as tops. Some prefer it that way. And there’s more than top and bottom. Versatile is the obvious third option (no or changing preference for position) as well as side (prefers non-penetrative sex).
There’s this stereotype (may not be the right word) that extends from the above in that tops are more masculine or powerful by virtue of topping, due to the tie with being dominant. Thus bottoms are more feminine and subservient. All of that is false and represents the gay community in a pretty bad, oversimplified, sexist-somewhere-along-the-line way.
The dom/sub axis is not the same as the top/bottom axis (not really an axis).
Sure, but the joke here is turning the dumb jokes of the homophobes against them, right? Calling a homophobe “haha u’r gay n a bottom” is kinda using their homophobia against them, no?
Also, I’m gay myself. If someone said “haha, u like taking it up the ass”, I would be like, “sure I do!”. Say this to a homophobe n they would be incredibly offended. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But sure, I get why the morals of this aren’t so straightforward.
You aren’t wrong. It’s rather philosophical at that point. There’s the “don’t say it because it’s shitty angle” (quasi-mine, though mine was more a explanation vs a held belief) vs the “take it back from them” angle. Both have pros/cons and I’m not going to pretend I have the ‘perfect’ answer. The truth is probably that whichever is more effective/least damaging probably varies by context.
It’s not just the top/bottom part that’s problematic, it’s the entire post. The punchline is “Trump and Elon are gay for each other, isn’t that funny?” which centers the idea that it would be bad or wrong for them to be gay for each other, perpetuating the conservative stereotype that there’s something wrong with being gay.
Oh FFS.
We (gay people) have been pointing out the hypocrisy of homophobes with this sort of joke for ages and will continue to do it because it’s fucking hilarious. We are, in doing so, celebrating that it’s wonderful to be gay and sad that they don’t see that or see there at times in-the-closet-like behavior.
The last thing thing I need is a bunch of word police telling me what I can and cannot say.
You know who IS making it seem like there’s something wrong with being gay? People like you.
As a “joke” it treats being gay as derogatory. You’re welcome to make shitty homophobic jokes if you want to.
Are you gay?
Are you not ok with being gay if you are? Are you not and experiencing latent homophobia?
Because that’s the only way you can possible conclude that it’s derogatory to call someone gay.
lol, the idea that I’ve said there is something wrong with being gay or being called gay is rich.
Good call, I missed it. We’ve got layers of shittiness in this meme.
This is just absolutely ridiculous. It’s thought police over-engineering for clout.
It’s a dissection of why some people in the LGBT community may be offended. If you’re unwilling to try to see the perspective of others and choose to instead reject empathy, that’s a problem for you and the people around you. This internet stranger will continue to have a good day.
Also, clout? On Lemmy? Oh good, I’ve got the support of all 12 of us…
I don’t think you see the hypocrisy in your own comments.
Empathy would be you not trying to tell people what to think and say and being willing to see their perspective.
Hey maybe that’s meaningful to you. It certainly seems to be to many.
I never misunderstood that you’re close minded. I’ll even grant that it can be frustrating to feel like you need a formal course on such things and that it changes entirely too fast and that sometimes it all feels like bullshit (ask me about using the term demisexual wrong* on the internet one time). But the world is made better when we work to understand others, which you’ve demonstrated that as being a non-priority for you.
Then why are you here?
you really can’t see how using sexuality to mock someone you hate is homophobic?
It’s not using sexuality to mock someone. It’s using hypocrisy to mock someone.
You know what’s the same thing? When gay men call each other fags or lesbians dykes. It’s taking what was intended as derogatory and flipping it around to celebrate it. It’s the ideal response to bullying assholes of any kind.
I guess it would make it okay to call a black right-winger an N-word and talk about how he can’t swim and only eats chicken and watermelon, then?
and I’m sure you know that not everyone is comfortable doing that because of their lived experiences. it’s awesome that homophobic jokes don’t affect you, but not everyone can distance themselves from them.
If you are black, yes, it would be ok. And many black people do. It’s the exact same defense mechanism.
Then let them not be comfortable with it and let me and my people alone. Do not try to police my language just because perceive someone somewhere to have experienced some mild discomfort… and why? WHY DO I SAY THIS?
Because honey, they need to arm themselves against that discomfort. You need to have a shield and that shield is OWNING the words. If you let people who use derogatory words own them you have lost power.
Calling a homophobe gay isn’t homophobia though, is it
Yeah, it is. It reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with a gay homophobe being gay, rather than the problem being that they are a homophobe.
it’s perpetuating the view that calling someone “gay” is somehow an insult.
Are you serious?
… you could just explain your logic you know.
It isn’t the general consensus.
😒
Thanks for trying.
Tell us you are not a gay man without telling us you are not a gay man.
Edit: Probably 85% of my social circle is some delicious flavor of queer. Kinda comes with being queer I guess. We make these jokes in part to normalize this sexuality and to make fun of hypocrites and bullies. It’s the same thing as when the kid in school says “that’s so gay” and you reply “oh really? You wanna get together later?”. This has come up a few times - the sensitivity of some groups to these kinds of jokes - and the conclusion is basically that people who object to them are generally either not queer or insecure about being queer and want to exert control over the conversation either to get cred with the community or to assuage their fears.