I’ve been waiting until after Christmas day to make this post, but some of our communities recently have had a lot of noise and upset over someone that uses neopronouns that most people are unfamiliar with.
So I want to make this clear. A persons pronouns are to be respected. This is true when the user is using neopronouns that you’re unfamiliar with. It’s true even if you think someone is trolling. Pronouns are not rewards for good behaviour. They aren’t only to be respected when you like the person you’re interacting with, or if their pronouns “make sense” to you. Trolls, spammers, twitter users, it doesn’t matter who they are, your options are to respect their pronouns, or to not engage with them.
I really want to re-iterate the importance of this. Gender diverse folk are undermined, invalidated and questioned at every step of our lives. As a community, we need to be working to undo that, not creating more of it, and that means there is no space for treating pronouns (including neopronouns) as a reward for good behaviour.
This isn’t a free reign for trolls and spammers. The rules still apply. Trolling, spamming, etc will continue to be dealt with, but it’s not an excuse to act as if respecting someones pronouns is optional.
The distinction is not useful, it’s transphobic. They aren’t “trying” to be “allies”, they are doing the absolute bare minimum (if that). And as soon as their views are challenged even a tiny bit, they show how much of an “ally” they are (or lack thereof). If they don’t extend their acceptance to include ALL identities they aren’t an “ally”, it’s quite simple. Being an ally means putting in actual effort to accept, support, and defend trans creatures. ALL trans creatures. You are proving why this post is needed right now, I suggest you read it. “not sharing that perspective” is transphobia, full stop, and to say otherwise is to invalidate those trans identities and hence be transphobic. You doubling down on this after multiple trans creatures have pointed this out is disheartening and disappointing. Enjoy your cis privilege while us trans creatures get pushed out of spaces because you don’t want to hurt transphobes feelings.