• Baggie@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    4 hours ago

    Fuck man, I’d love to take it off, but the only key seem to be mushrooms & psychology, and the potential damage scares me more than putting up with the trauma does.

  • Krauerking
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    6 hours ago

    Some days you are strong enough to carry it. Others it’s all you can do to just keep dragging it forward to not stop moving.
    It’s an aspect of you that may never have a key for, I thought I would get mine from an apology but instead it just changed the shape of the weight, and changed how I carry it.

    You just can’t let it be all you focus on and don’t let others designate how you carry on. They can’t carry it for you only help, and the help may not always be there.

    To all the others with your baggage to carry, I wish you cheers, good health and tears, may you never forget what it means to be human and stop feeling.

    • Landless2029@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      7 hours ago

      They found that after the 9/11 attacks suppression of memories is a valid coping path.

      Works for me with some childhood trauma. Surfaced in my teens. Buried it again with no therapy because “men don’t have feelings”.

      Its like a bad mostly healed scab. I know its there. I just don’t pick at it. Nearly completely forgot about it until your comment.

      • Naz@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        7 hours ago

        And there it is again

        The giant spider attack on your village

        🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🏘️🔥

        • Landless2029@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          7 hours ago

          So I checked and you seem like a real person… Haven’t had my coffee yet. No idea what your comment means.

          • Naz@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            8
            ·
            6 hours ago

            I’m distracting you from your horrible past with a humourous and absurd fantasy scenario involving giant spiders

    • M1nds3nd@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      7 hours ago

      It’s normal to remember horrible shit and very hard to not let it affect you. Finding a way to move past it and not let it define you can seem insurmountable but torturing yourself for what someone else did to you perpetuates the cycle of damage. Don’t allow things to continue to hurt you, especially when they are no longer around. I hope this doesn’t come across as preachy. I struggle with it too but I’m learning that the past can’t be changed. Life moves on with or without you. It’s in our best interest to find a way forward through the mess…

  • haui@lemmy.giftedmc.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    33
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    15 hours ago

    Not really sure but it feels like this suggests you always have a choice. You really dont. Depending on the shit you‘ve been through, things will be shit forever and you just have to deal with it. Then again, it light just try to spark discussion.

    To those who have lasting damage from their parent‘s mistakes: I feel you. You don’t need their love or their approval for anything.

    • Krauerking
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      6 hours ago

      Yeah, I mean my morals are based on thinking about what my parents would do and then always choosing to do something else.
      I was given a blueprint of what the worst people look like and do but it’s what I got as my history to rely on for my future.

      I don’t have the time to just dump all those years and the pain just because I want to be as ignorant to its possibility as others are and relearn existence. The ability to change is possible but that doesn’t work on the past. It’s truth is what shaped me into the person I am today I can change how I respond to it only.

    • ladicius@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      15 hours ago

      Yep. Exactly this. That stuff is engrained in the deepest and oldest parts of your personality, it somehow is you.

      If it were as easy to handle and to take off as a handcuff therapists and psychologists would be jobless.

      • haui@lemmy.giftedmc.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        15 hours ago

        You can also read about retraumatization. Its statistically likely for a sufficiently traumatized person to walk into situations (both by their own and other‘s specific configuration) that deepen the trauma. Then there are intense risc factors like being part of one or many minorities. At some points, life becomes an obstacle course just to keep that from happening over and over because the outcome of that vicious cycle is brutal.

        To the second part: yes, that and capitalism. It would be infinitely easier for a person to just heal if there wasnt constant pressure from all sides to produce meaningless „work“ for some oligarch or another but thats beyond the scope here i guess. If interested, visit !anticorporate@lemmy.giftedmc.com .

    • Zorque@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      10
      ·
      13 hours ago

      Well, you have a choice in how you deal with it. You could just let it chain you down, or you could develop strategies to deal with it.

      That doesn’t mean it’d be easy, or that you can remove it entirely… but it’s better than ignoring it and hoping it goes away.

      • callouscomic@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        10 hours ago

        They literally wrote you have to deal with it. They aren’t talking about ignoring. They’re talking about ability to let it go as if it never affected you. Some people don’t have that choice. They become invasive thoughts and things that ruin random days or events by flooding us with horrible memories or triggers.

      • callouscomic@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        10 hours ago

        These kinds of phrasings unhelpfully oversimplify real issues that some people struggle with.

        • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          6 hours ago

          I don’t really think that’s the point. It suggests that a lot of trauma in someone’s life can result in difficulty having normal relationships and interactions with people. That’s a perfectly valid position even if simply stated. There’s no need to enumerate the list of causes in casual conversation.

        • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          6 hours ago

          There are certainly enough people who grew up with immense privilege who have no problem hurting other people. Are they traumatized? I mean, we can’t rule out the possibility.

          On the other hand, have they been cushioned from the painful consequences their own actions have on others? Absolutely.

        • Krauerking
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          6 hours ago

          I wonder if it is more used by people that don’t want to accept suffering as a base for all humans cause the only people that repeat that phrase to me are ones that don’t want to make allowances for hurt people to exist in their world.

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    17 hours ago

    As an Indigenous Canadian … most people in my family have a black ball so big that we put wheels on it and take it for a ride.

    • AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      17 hours ago

      Also Canadian but white: Sorry man, it never should have come to this in the first place. I hope yours isn’t so bad.