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When I was a server I hated when people stacked their own plates. First off, I found it performative. Secondly it messed with my system. Thirdly it usually produced a 20lb pile of dishes covered in queso, half eaten burritos, and guacamole that was impossible to carry.
bussed tables for years; what are you doing clearing tables as a server?
I liked it when people stacked their shit up, it shaves a few seconds off me doing it before I dumped it in a tub.
As far as food issues - well yeah if they’re some kids acting like cretins pouring shit all over that’s a problem but what’s that got fuck all to do with the stack?
I find your hate performative to be honest.
Yeah man. I don’t stack anything, not because I don’t want to help, but I don’t want to mess with your system. Waiting isn’t as easy as it seems and I absolutely have no idea how to do it, so I don’t want to interfere. I prefer to sit awkwardly and pretend that me leaning back as much as I can to make more space is equally helpful.
Huh, me mum was a waitress at one point and taught me to stack for politeness, I didn’t realize it was a preference thing. Now I’m not sure what to do.
I’ll still keep ordering the queso though, that shit’s delicious.
offer them the plates so they don’t have to reach or move around the table and help them stack them when they’re there… pause your conversations and ensure they spend as little time sorting your dishes as possible, and then both they can get back to what they’re doing and you can continue your conversations in private
especially true when there are plates, bowls, and cups of all shapes
exception being it’s okay to pile cutlery on a single plate because that’s always going on the top and if not it’s easy to tip off all at once to restack
But people who put napkins in cups can go to hell, and that includes servers.
Sincerely,
Dish
P.S. Scrape your damn plates servers.
Okay, fair enough. How about putting eventual food, that has not been eaten, on the top plate (and in general making sure the plate is not completely dirty)
This. Heard the same from a waiter friend a while back. Since then, I do nutsack
Nutsack is preferable.
Waiters have told me to please not stack the dishes because it messes with their carrying technique.
Yes. If you do it incorrectly then there’s food on the bottom of the plates now and they can’t shuffle it to their preference anymore.
My test is the classic shopping cart test, for those who don’t know its a test based on if someone returns a shopping cart. Its a societal benefit that is not aknowlaged and requires minimal effort. You wont be punished if you dont return it yet you’re being an asshole.
What do you do with your shopping cart when you are done? Do you just leave it to fend for itself in the sea of the parking lot? Or do you do the right thing and bring it back inside or to the cart corral.
The REAL REAL sign though? When someone brings a cart from the parking lot into the store to shop with, ultra move.
I like to stay in the chaotic neutral category. I get my cart from the parking lot, but return it exactly where i found it. Even if it was in the middle of the lot. 😝
This has to be in the top 5 most US things.
Just wanted to put in a counter for what a lot of people are saying in here, if you’re looking for a “perfect-clone friend” right out the gate then prepare to be lonely as your tests fail… not because they’re horrible people, but because they’re a different person with different experiences.
The person litters (like @tiramichu@sh.itjust.works suggested)? Probably see’s their entire family litter constantly and never gets comments or maybe even once got reprimanded for saying not to litter to an elder. Just ask them not to when they’re in your vehicle, take into account their reaction and maybe have a conversation about it? (personal experience, just let me friend know it was lame and he stopped doing it. But now his vehicle is a roaming trashcan so I guess take what you can get)
You can be friends with people who are different or were raised differently than you, it’s actually super beneficial! Now if it’s a constant argument or it’s turned into a negative experience every time and communication isn’t working… it might be useful to move on for everyone’s sake at that point.
I’m getting a mixed message here; are you saying people should be friends with people who litter, and politely encourage them to improve their behavior? Or that they should walk away from people that litter? Not trying to antagonize, I’m just not clear what the central theme of your comment is
Make friends first without requirements, communicate if an action of theirs disturbs you or makes you feel some kind of way. Learn who they are and why they do things before passing judgement. Let them know your experience. From there, evaluate what kind of relationship you want with the person going forward. But, communicate! the reason why. Allow the ability for people to surprise you and change if they care about your feelings (including allowing yourself to change if they present good arguments).
People have friends or acquaintances for different reasons and have different philosophies over what’s important in those relationships, mileage may vary.
cool lol thanks
just fyi you keep repeating this pattern: “here’s a specific thing you should enjoy. Later, here’s a general rule which will often invalidate the previous statement” and it’s just kind of hard to follow. but. thanks for the response
It helps if you’re not vague when asking for clarification and quote what the issue is directly, the made-up quote doesn’t really help if you wish to get an actual helpful response.
people should be friends with people who litter, and politely encourage them to improve their behavior?
My response: Make friends first without requirements
Or that they should walk away from people that litter?
response: Learn who they are and why they do things before passing judgement. From there, evaluate what kind of relationship you want with the person going forward (is this a co-worker? Someone from a friend group? What kind of relationship is required to move forward)
You can make friends…then unmake if necessary. If that’s your confusion.
or we can make friends however we want, lol, it’s weird that you think you’re our life coach. let people pick friends however they want buddy, there’s no need to tell everyone else how to live
You ok there bud? First day on the internet and you just needed to talk to someone?
This is a perfect example btw, I didn’t just dismiss you because of your confusion. But now since you’ve just been wasting time for clarification you never actually cared about (only to then try to insult in the lamest way possible online), and your other really horrible posts and comments I can easily move on and not care about this interaction at all!
Haha, no
Sincerely, a waiter
Could you elaborate?
As a waiter, on any given day you want to spend the minimum amount of time doing the “required” things, so you can spend more time on things that dont mediately require your attention. That is to say, clearing a table faster lets you give more wine tastings, or spend more time having a chat with a table when the time comes for it
This, of course, means that a minimum amount of trips to the kitchen with dirty plates is preferred. No matter how much of the “stacking” phase is removed, it will never make up for another trip it may cause
You might see what I’m getting at, but to put it bluntly, I have never had a table stack their plates in a way that actually helps - it’s always caused a second or third trip
What’s more annoying is that the person in the picture has clearly never had the opportunity to ask a waiter (off shift) about what they think (as they would very roughly disagree with them), yet asserts that people who don’t agree with them are in the wrong
OK, that makes sense. What’s the preferred stacking method, then?
When I stack plates at home I make sure to have all the food leftovers and the cutlery on the top plate and - if different types of plates are on the table - stack them by type, so that I create a stable and sturdy “tower”.
The correct way to stack plates for them is to not stack them at all. Every waiter has their own system, and there’s no way to tell what it is. The most respectable thing to do is to tuck yourself in and make it easy for the waiter to reach your plates. Even handing plates to them can result in them being forced to stack plates in an inefficient manner
You’d fail my test if I learn you have tests for people.
Maybe it’s just a matter of phrasing, but the idea that I could be kind to our server all night, tip well, generally hit it out of the park, but be disproportionately judged for failing to do this one small thing because it’s your personal test? Sets my social anxiety off enough that if I knew that were on your mind I’d probably just say we’re not compatible.
Obviously, keep an eye out for shitty people, and don’t put up with bad behaviour, but also judge people as people, wholistically.
It says the word ‘test’ in the post title, but if it helps I don’t think you need to take it so literally.
This isn’t necessarily “setting up” specific situations for people, but more like how people respond in normal everyday situations which you might consider to be either red flag or green flag behaviour.
For me, an example is littering. I’m not so sociopathic that I’d create some trash just to test someone, but if trash happens and they throw it on the ground, it’s a bad personality indicator.
Yeah, what you’re saying makes sense. I like “bad personality indicator” as an alternative, since it conveys to me it’s one of many indicators you might process, maybe not even consciously. I’ve just had rather negative experiences being “tested” and hearing that world applied to any kind of casual social interaction gets my hackles all the way up.
As a former waiter, I have a counterpoint:
- I can’t carry that wobbly precarious mess you’ve made, and it’s easier to disassemble and reassemble it because I know how to do this.
Thus, you’ve created work for me.
Thankfully I haven’t been a waiter in - oh look! - 30 years.
I’m a former chef, so I’ve seen what happens when these best intentions go poorly.
Stack neatly and in manageable heights. If you leave utensils and food between the plates: you’re not helping. Scrape remnants on to one plate and leave it at the top of the stack with the utensils.
Also, tip well. At least until we get the radical changes in labor law that would prevent these ratfucking cokehead “Chef”-Owners from paying the dirt wages that makes people live and die by their tips.
Plus if you hand me a messy stack, I now have to leave the table with it. If I can arrange food waste and cutlery on my own, I can carry way more
But I put the cutlery up top, so it’s not wobbly at all.
Yes, but most waiters won’t even put the cutlery on top of the stack. They’ll usually have the main stack on their forearm, while having a separate plate held in their hand. This single plate has all the cutlery, and it’s pinned down by their fingers
By putting all the cutlery on top, it’s much more likely for them to fall while walking around
Wait do people really just stack them with all the cutlery scattered throughout the tower?
Yes they do. Some people are that stupid.
My wife used to wait tables and we generally eat or box everything, so I’m pretty confident she’s right to pre-bus (and even wipe the table a little while waiting for check).
My only personal analogy is bagging groceries; self service shows how typical people have no idea, while an experienced bagger does. I saw a guy literally put eggs in the bottom of their bag. I can’t imagine how terrible their pre-bussing must be.
sheepishly telling the cashier thanks cuz my bag Tetris is no good
Hehe, bag Tetris. “Oops, I put the eggs in vertically to fill a hole and now the whole bag is empty.”
Ahahaha I’ll be watching out for that now
Yeah, I originally thought I was being nice until I heard this exact sentiment from another server. I try not to make a ridiculous mess and tip at least 20% for good service
Well luckily for you I have restaurant industry experience, so I already know how to stack them the right way.
Yep instead I pass things out of reach, look the waiter in the eyes, comment on how hard they’re working and chat to them. Just treat them like they’re human
I almost never had a table stack their stuff the way I wanted. Just make sure your spot is tidy, easy to grab, and there are no surprises like silverware or a tiny dish wrapped inside a napkin. Definitely don’t stick a paper napkin inside your cup that still has a drink in it. By the time it gets back to the dish station it will have turned into a paste someone has to dig out and will be cursing you!
I always prebus. If i don’t know how to stack funny dishes then I leave them in small piles by type with cuttery on the top of what makes sense.
Takes less than 5 seconds for a stack / pickup with a nod to the busser.
If it’s a self service place, I tend to look around if there is a place to keep the dishes (kinda like SubWay has).
Otherwise, I don’t stack. Waiters can have different ways of taking the dishes and those ways are usually based on all the dishes being random-access. I’d rather do nothing, than stack it the wrong way.I mean, you could stack your dishes but still be a rapist or murderer.
My mom was a cleaning lady and I worked in hospital housekeeping for a while. I always wipe down my table and tidy the plates etc. my kids have picked it up just from watching and they always clean their mess when we go out, can’t get them to clean up at home though
My wife and I do this, but I’ve always wondered whether I’m actually helping or just creating a different kind of inconvenience by not organizing them in a beneficial way.
It’s helpful! But don’t put trash inside the cups - this can be annoying to empty
This comment section is a nice mix of “I’m a waiter, please don’t do this, you’re making my job harder” and “I always do this to make the waiters’ lives easier”
Checking in at 23 hours - I count one comment to this effect, but even there the caveat is ‘but only if you do it wrong’
As a waiter, I’ve never had a customer stack their plates correctly for me
My dad gets legitimately angry when I do this. Boomers are a different breed
I don’t think it’s an age thing, more of an empathy test. I’ve been a dishwasher, maybe that’s why I tidy up.
I’ve owned a restaurant, and once you’ve done that, you’ve been the dishwasher, janitor, toilet plunger, punching bag, robbery victim, etc.
After all that, you tend to lose that sense that some jobs are below you. You just see it as work that has to be done, and you’re standing there, so it might as well be you, so get it done.
My dad gets legitimately angry when I do this
I think it has to do with “putting the waiters out of their job”. Like, when you do a part of the job for them consistently, the restaurant manager will eventually notice that and realize they can do with a little bit less staff. So they hire fewer waiters, which means potential waiters face a tougher job market.
And for anybody saying “that little bit of support can’t make the difference between more and less staff”, yes, it can. Consider that a restaurant manager might have already decided to fire a waiter that’s a bit less performant (because they struggle to keep up) but decided to keep them anyways, just in case. Now they see that people do a part of the work, and that might just give them the idea that maybe, they could do with fewer waiters, and there’s that one lazy guy who can’t keep up anyway …
Yeah, my boomer uncle told me it was low class after he watched me do it. When I was a waitress at the time. Fuck him and that mentality - I do it to this day and make into 6 figures
Impressive. Employ a buncha seasoned techniques ‘n’ tactics during service? Influence by Dr. Cialdini had some, (including one that was essentially dishonest), but one more normal one like this:
That’s bizarre to me.
edit: you just unlocked a memory of my mum bollocking me as a kid for doing it. It’s so bizarre why?
Too many people see life as a zero-sum game with a one-dimensional ranking. To them, success is defined as the number of people of people you’re better than. Worse, many people go by pass/fail,as in “they’re one of the good ones” (popular with bigots everywhere)
you want me to work for you, pay for everything, and tip you?
At a time when the tipping options are 18%, 20% or 25%.
you do you, but if im just chilling talking after i eat, it feels like nothing to me - just something to do with my hands that doesnt feel like work at all and is massively helpful to someone
I do the clean up thing just because I don’t like having a bunch of shit in front of me all spread out. I think it’s years of having to clean up my stations and desks so I can actually function so it’s just habitual. We should be taking into consideration that this might not be helpful at all to the worker if these other comments are to be believed.
