In my experience, the stuff that tends to end relationships also tend to make friendships untenable.
Umm, do you mind give me an example?
That I’ve experienced that made me not want to be an ex’s friend after the break up? Gaslighting, theft, lack of empathy, emotional abuse, machiavellianism, talking shit about literally everyone around them behind their backs
Thanks
habitual liars, abusers, etc. there are a lot of things.
Thanks
I have had both experiences. For me, it really depends on the other person because I’m very easy going. I have two exs that could not handle continuing a friendship after the relationship was over. I have an ex that I’m very good friends with and my ex wife and I interact regularly because we have children together. In my opinion, unless the other person was terrible to you, I don’t see a reason to cut someone out. It can be hard to set the other stuff aside and just be friends. No one is going to know you better than someone like that.
Cut and forget
it’s always be cut them out for me, i admittedly haven’t been with a lot of great people throughout my life who i definitely did not want to keep around. people who lied to me, made me feel worse about myself. much better having them as far away from me as possible.
I’m in that situation rn. Currently in the process of ending a 3 year relationship with a girl I was previously friends with. Thing is, we won’t be able to cut eachother out, because the people she calls friends are mine also. So, if we were to go that route, she’d stand there without any good friends on her side, and I would feel terrible for her. That’s why it’s totally fine for me if we were to stay friends, because for me it’s pretty easy to just keep my distance and respect her.
But it would depend on how the relationship comes to an end. I talked with people who said after half a year of not conversing or meeting with them at all, they could normally talk with them again without any bad emotions.
what if the relationship didn’t end up in good terms!
I am lucky that all my relationships (I started dating very late and haven’t had many) have ended relatively amicably and I remain on good terms with them. My relationship before my current one we just had different future goals (I am childfree, she is not) so decided to end things with no hard feelings.
I wouldn’t say I am still close to any of them, but I haven’t blacklisted them and it isn’t awkward at all if a social situation involving both of us comes up. I have never had a “bad breakup” though, so that would probably be a fair bit different.
Out of curiosity, when you say that you started dating very late, how old is very late?
A bit after uni, so mid-late 20s?
Entirely depends on circumstances. Yeah, there’s a reason you broke up. There’s also a reason you got together in the first place. Their good qualities don’t go away just because you broke up. Just depends whether it’s worth it or not.
Not super close, but I chat to them sometimes and see them at events and exchange hugs and stuff.
