• KitathallaEnglish
    20·
    3 days ago

    Worst experience of my shitting life was when I didn’t defecate prior to the monthly jog. Luckily I could squeeze through the fence of the golf club I was near, and it was early enough nobody was around to ‘report’ me, AND they had the course’s bathroom door unlocked. Now I just exercise at home where there’s a bathroom within safe jumping distance.

    • Tangent5280@lemmy.world
      19·
      3 days ago

      With every successive word in your post I was sure it was going to end with you shitting in the bushes.

      Kinda disappointed now to be honest. You owe me one poop in the bushes.

      • KitathallaEnglish
        6·
        2 days ago

        I’ll do you better, and someone out there may know it’s me.

        I once was in a river,

        downstream from many givers,

        and then began to shiver…

        I felt a slide go past my liver.

        There I was alone;

        the house far, and across stone;

        and my south began to groan;

        from my lips I droned, “oh no.”

        I tried to climb the rise,`

        while tightly clamping thighs,

        but as I soon surmised,

        I couldn’t hold the surprise.

        All the river floaters watched,

        as my privacy I botched,

        there right upon the stony swatch,

        what horror flowed right from my crotch.