I saw something about bringing your dog to a gay bar, but didn’t catch the end of it.
the one you’re looking for is
Taking a dog into a gay bar, saying “who’s a good boy” and writing down which guys react subconsciously
it’s all admin-side so we’d have to write a separate list for the public and keep that updated
They’re actually all served whenever you load the homepage–you’ll see them if you check the source.
edit: of course I remember about the angle bracket bug AFTERWARDS, so all the CURRENT_USER/YEAR jokes are lost in my compendium and I’m too tired rn to fix it
Part 1
“Home of the all-you-can-eat struggle session”
“The internet’s fastest-growing Pete Buttigieg fansite”
“A support group for terminally online”
“Please report for re-education”
“Welcome home, comrade”
“LORE REQUEST: MOMMYBIGDICK”
“Robespierre Did Nothing Wrong”
“Welcome to the cum zone”
“TRAINS”
“Stay safe out there”
“The Dive Bar at the End of the Universe”
“Alexa, end racism.”
“Hillary Clinton is an idea, a world-historical heroine, light itself”
“Is your hate pure?”
“Mr. Gorbachev, hit these back walls”
“the revolution will be petitionised”
“Uh… you know… the thing”
“bodily function, laugh”
“I am once again asking you to sort your megathread by /new”
“Keep your vital essences inside at all times.”
“What do you mean podcast?”
“Hear me out… Heptagon Bear”
“Roll for Sanity”
“Italians Need Not Register”
“Y’all hear about cum?”
“The Leading Peer-to-Peer Toothbrush Confiscation Website”
“Ask Us About China!”
“the only good hellsite”
“Ask Us About Animal Liberation!”
“Sharpens Guillotine”
“You’ve Been Added to Another Watchlist”
“Stalin Did Nothing Wrong”
“The Kulaks Deserved It”
“The Romanovs Deserved It”
“The Landlords Deserved It”
“The Sparrows Deserved It”
“Death to America”
“مرگ بر آمریک”
“the wise man solemnly bowed his head and spoke: “there’s actually zero difference between good &bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron.””
“There’s no longer a dang CHEETO in the whitehouse!”
“THIS SITE IS HENTAI FREE. Lookin for it? Leave”
“No.”
“who the fuck is scraeming “LOG OFF” at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off”
“i dont understand what this anime has to do with the interview”
““im not owned! im not owned!!”, i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob”
“There is no ethical cum under capitalism”
“Everything is fucked. Piracy is cool”
“Yeet the rich”
“…In Minecraft”
“One neat trick your landlord doesn’t want you to know”
“These CG bullet wounds aren’t doing it for me”
“Capitalism killed squibs”
“You mean that drug lord?”
“Yeah we’re anarcho-marxist-leninist-maoist-trotskyist-dengist-christmanists”
“More 👏 Female 👏 Drone 👏 Pilots”
“Fraternal Order of the Bernard Brethren”
“Bullying Works”
“Down with Cis”
“remember to fraternally kiss a comrade today”
“healthcare pls”
“where we cum once we cum all”
“belligerent and numerous”
“This machine kills fascists”
“Post hog!”
“Capitalism, more like crapitalism, amirite xD”
“Line go down”
“Officially endorsed by George Soros”
“Patent pending”
“Low energy raid!”
“No gods, no masters”
“You have nothing to lose but your chains!”
“Nye nye, uwu”
“A fascist worked out today, did you?”
“Listen, Jack!”
“Be gay, do crimes”
“social democracy is objectively the moderate wing of fascism”
“Real possum hours”
“go to horny jail… bonk!”
“Hillary Clinton Fan Club”
“Kick grass and smoke ass”
“And where did that bring you? Back to me”
“Post Hog”
“Check out this dope-ass bear”
“Volcel Gang”
“Yesterday was the same, tomorrow will be different”
“:shapiro-poplar: alright as you can see, i just went shopping at home depot, you should do the same, this wood, this board, this magnificent piece of poplar, is now mine.”
“proud mod team of internet janitors preaching the values of communism and hrt (for those who wish to partake in it)”
“Buh?”
“Hot take I know, but I don’t think the soviet union ever dissolved. When the US government says that they did this giant geopolitical feat to prove how america was better than russia, I treat it with heavy scrutiny.”
“You downbeared my post. Now everyone’s gonna be infertile, and the elite will take over and invent their fucking Rockies paradise.”
“I liked it but then I went to the Server’s page and saw it’s filled with Communist symbols, got terrified and closed it :(”
“line go up world more gooder”
“All Cats Are Beautiful”
“Ripping off Futurama taglines since 3020”
“Had to have high, high hopes for a living”
“A couple of nominally anarchist users here find reasons to perpetually express resentment, but I think this comes from them sympathizing too much with anarcho-bidenists.”
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
“I sort of give up on podcasts. There doesn’t seem to be much good faith about podcasts; People are telling me to stop listening to these people (I don’t unless I click a link here) while simultaneously defending paying them large sums of money as good actually.”
“listening to a fucking plate smashing and being like ‘that’s real music baby’ to my slowly dissolving friend group”
“All they have managed to do is make themself sad. They are starting to suspect Karl Marx fucked them over personally with his socio-economic theory. It has, however, made them into a very, very smart person with something like a university degree in Truth. Instead of building Communism, they now build a precise model of this grotesque, duplicitous world.”
"I guess you could say we believe it because it’s impossible. It’s our way of saying we refuse to accept that the world has to remain… like this…
""In the dark times, should the stars also go out?
"“They will single-handedly raise the Soviet Union from the liberalized stronghold where it has been resting, covered in ghosts and snow! They are the Big Communism Builder. Come, witness 's attempt to rebuild Communism in the year !”
“it is and you’re still posting :07:”
" needs to log off."
“A fascist posted today, did you?”
“Proud member of the swoletariat”
“like digg but leftist”
“Hide your toothbrushes”
“endless china struggle sessions”
“Should have been lib.rehab”
“We have hexbears”
“Keep calm and VOTE”
“LIB!”
“ok guys hear me out, nordic socialism”
“HOG OUT or LOG OUT”
“Everyone’s a lib except me”
“pig poop balls”
“Is this a bit?”
“Shitposters of the world UNITE!”
“bear with us”
“It wasn’t okay to close the subreddit as a joke”
“All Bunny Cops Are Bastards”
“Official Community for the podcast Citations Needed”
“Kinda Nice With It”
“a line of dancing crabs”
“chapo? like the drug dealer?”
“Pokemon Go to the proles”
“Pokemon Go! to the polls”
“Hog Futures Are Up”
“This is me. This is how I win.”
“Ah, nevertheless,”
“We love to see it”
“…and I’m reporting for DUTY”
“God, could dad drive a car”
“We love our beautiful posters, don’t we folks?”
“Don’t blame me, blame society”
“Welcome to the machine!”
“I’m just here for the shitposting”
“Now accepting suggestions for today’s struggle session”
“It’s true. We’re turning the frogs gay”
“You’re welcome to join my expedition to go back to 19th century Vienna and kill Freud. The time machine is finished. We’re leaving on Tuesday. You need to bring your own gun and German phrase book. “Ver is der mommenfucken quaken doktor vit der kokaine habbit?””
“Every hexbear comment reads like AI trained only on the Tumblr accounts of 14 year olds with Stalin body pillows.”
“17 18 19 35 7 7 17 18 GREY 49 70 70 108 108 9 00 BLACK”
“What is workplace democracy? Would love to finally hear some socialist philosophy from someone that isn’t a goddamn Hexbear user.”
“Wear every downvote over on the reddit island of lemmy like a badge.”
“This is the last comment I’m ever making on this instance. You’ll never see my main account here again or this account ever be used again. I don’t trust the people here. Especially when doing some research and it seems that lemmy.ml got co-opted by lemmygrad and is slowly turning into hexbear 2.0.”
“At this point Hexbear is essentially co-opted by astroturfing terrorists”
“Hexbear.net is like if Fox News was to create a leftist website. It smells so fake.”
"Man, I was all on board with this idea. Federated instances made so much sense to me. But it’s tankies all the way down, and it’s just not worth my time anymore. Hell, if the largest instance bans you seconds after you call out a tankie mod, where can you escape? Great idea, terrible execution. Everyone wants lemmy to grow, well, until the tankies are gone, that shit just ain’t gonna happen. "
“Hexbears are half troll farm, a quarter 4chan larper, and a quarter confused teenagers who just found out how many fascist regimes America has supported.”
" fully understands the core of international geopolitics. "
“everything under heaven is in chaos, the situation is not particularly excellent but nonetheless ww3 was started at a rave”
"I’m left. But what the fuck is the deal with “tankies” though? "
“I must confirm the sequences I have. Will pay $5,000 per hair obtained from HIllary Clinton. Payment after the sequence matches.”
“seeing a modlog with “reason: sent picture of a pig shitting” is the funniest thing I’ll see all day.”
“I’m a liberal, and I’m also a proud socialist. And so are you.”
“Just to be clear, this is not an invitation to discussion with you, but a warning to others who might see your comment.”
“hexbear? like the drug dealer?”
“I’m a good Maoist, I hate sex”
“I’m a veteran of The Culture War. Lieutenant Colonel in the 207th Hexbear Corps. I received a Purple Heart in the Battle of the Maid Cafe”
“Patrons at Miami eatery Versailles cheered when Donald Trump twice declared “Food for everyone!” during a surprise stop at the Little Havana hotspot. Then he left without buying food for anyone.”
“If I cant post, it isn’t my revolution”
“I was like “this vape tastes funny” and she was like “oh yeah its dmt””
“you wanna hear about what happened in my AP Gov class today?”
“reminder: stalin saved the world from fascism”
Part 2
“This post breaks site rules! I am reporting the post instead of posting! If you disagree then please DM a mod because its my right as a user to know why not. Otherwise if its not necessary due to the post being locked then its fine. I just want this user to know that their drama-seeking, malicious, hostile, bullying post is unacceptable.”
“A marxist with an internet connection can create absolute fucking havok if they’re dedicated enough. The movement rises and recedes like the crash of a wave”
"Notice to all suxbears entering this premesis: Donald Trump is a communist and he is just like you. Everyone here agrees! "
“Is this post for real a response to someone suggesting that being obsessed with online communities isn’t a particularly healthy habit? Because I just came from that post on the front page where you called that person a boomer right before making this post.”
“Do the Dead mean nothing to you?”
" days until a sitting U.S. Congressperson says the word ‘tankie’ on T.V."
“You had the audacity to change your class? Just like that? Like flipping on a light switch? Now your labor belongs to yourself. You are self-exploiting. Congratulations. Welcome to the petit bourgeoisie.”
“You can see no shortage of some unknown number of unscrupulous, anonymous mods in the modlog.”
“mods!! mods! one of those obscene low follower count boys stole a lick from the delicious lolly that Father bought me!! ah! how dreadful !”
“there’s a class of people on this site the law protects and does not punish, while there’s another class of people the law punishes, but does not protect.”
“all cops are removed”
“Hexbear is a facsimile, mediated through a thousand screens. go kiss, go get kissed, go reject a kiss, go be denied a kiss. go out.”
“bidets are the next step in the historical material process of ass cleaning. live in ass feudalism if you like, but don’t get jealous when ass communism happens and you aren’t invited because youve left your ass in the dark ages”
“ban me if you must, but i will go down swinging”
“idk if a therapy session is the best place to go off on a Maoist Third Worldist rant, but you do you I guess”
“Okay, first learn how to do the dishes and then maybe you can work on buying a bidet. If you can’t understand the analogy then I’d hate to see your kitchen.”
“cornrade biggs, will you bring a revolutonary people’s war to christmas?”
“haha, manufactured consent printer go brrr”
“You likely came here from the Discord and you want to dictate social norms to me, and you wonder why it won’t work.”
“Tbh, I completely expected to be viewed as a friend after being here so long”
“Like, yeah, all billionaires are awful and some do shit like build weapons. Goddamn do I hate Musk more than all of them. It’s like how people hate Umbridge more than Voldemort.”
“You can grow tobacco in your kitchen. Try growing a car.”
“You’re re-posting your not-tweet from a twitter knock-off that you use because it’s open source and federated and posting your not-tweet here because in some way you think that’s posting”
“One attendee recounts the Chief Twit “absolutely [turning] into a corncob” in the face of the crowd reaction (80% of the stadium boos)”
“I can’t tell how many layers of irony are happening here.”
“People on psychedelics are open to much weirder shit than marxism. I’m not saying you should MK Ultra your friend, but what if you did?”
“hexbear is filmed in front of a live studio audience”
“Tonight at 7pm MSK on Cytube we’re watching the The Jerma Show!”
“If this is a paraphrase of your take we have a pretty big misunderstanding”
“AOC is doing what the unions asked her to do!”
“Except I’m not a burger eating oil thief, chauvanist.”
“I don’t drag you in front of your computer screen and demand you comment at gunpoint.”
“I am a communist. I am an anarchist. I am a Marxist. I am a socialist. My disagreements are based purely on those terms.”
“Do I need to have blue and white light continually crisping my retinas to please you?”
“I get dancing, I just don’t have the urge to do it. Which is a little weird because a lot of the music I like is very danceable”
“Republicans won the house by less than 1 percent!”
“Noooo don’t you see the right is winning the culture war!!!”
“Home of Young Sheldon Fans Worldwide”
“When the users post too much they complain it causes the website to break, that users are terminally online and need to touch grass, they complain struggle sessions are lame and 1000 comments is really just the same one guy and the same 5 people spamming the same comments over and over.”
“When the users don’t post enough they complain the community is too small and insulated, that leftism is dead and nazis won the culture war.”
“I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th.”
“Best line in the Elizabeth Warren beer catastrophe is, to her husband, “Thank you for being here. I’m glad you’re here” It’s their house, he’s supposed to be there!”
“A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!”
“The Coca Cola company is not happy with me–that’s okay, I’ll still keep drinking that garbage.”
“I too have a Posting Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!”
“He doesn’t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don’t threaten people Joe!”
“My son Donald is doing very well. Thank you!”
“Good Morning, Have A Great Day!”
“it ain’t me, it ain’t me, i ain’t no son :trans-specter:”
“John Bolton was one of the dumbest people in government that I’ve had the “pleasure” to work with. A sullen, dull and quiet guy, he added nothing to National Security except, “Gee, let’s go to war.” Also, illegally released much Classified Information. A real dope!”
“i personally think capitalism is quite cringe”
“506f737420686f672c206c69626572616c”
“Running on Java Minecraft v0.9”
“unfortunately not everyone here is a volcel”
“Avoid the Noid”
“cant go 2 seconds without someone trying to tell me piss is good. if piss is so good then why do they pay guys to mop it up?? go read Theory”
“
unsafe { start_hexbear() }”“You’re a gusano, Harry!”
“Cumming is bourgeois”
“scrolling through 900,000 emails calling me a hideous cock sucker to find a benihana coupon i thought i saw like a week ago”
" is a liberal."
“shidding out of my doodoo ass”
“you love to see it folks”
“:pete: If we can light up a high school gym—we can light a neighborhood. :pete:”
“:frog-no-pretext:”
“Kissinger: still not dead :angery:”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read The Conquest of Bread”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read State and Revolution”
“ok i pull up”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink and Blue”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read The Communist Manifesto”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read What Is To Be Done?”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read Synopsis of Capital”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read Letter from a Birmingham Jail”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read Sonic’s Space-Time Adventure”
“People won’t join Lemmy while it’s so full of political propaganda. I’m thinking about leaving and I was thrilled to be part of it two months ago. Hexbear.net is really poisoning the well for me.”
“On hexbear.net, moderators are a traumatizing social power-dynamic, left up to the whim of 1 person, that has a significant effect on your life, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“bit idea: 01100001 00100000 01110000 01101001 01100111 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101111 01110000 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110100 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100001 01101100 01101100 01110011”
“Bazinga!”
“me and my nephew taking turns on the bad take machine to see what asinine bullshit we’re posting about today”
“you’ve been doxxed motherfucker, i know the first three numbers”
“so sorry for party rockin”
“casually plugging in the full 5tb drive i have that contains only the same jpeg of mc ride and that big fuckin moth over and over again into my boss’s computer (trolled)”
“hexagonal family crest with a bear on it”
“motherfuckers buying nfts when you can just right click”
“62 65 61 72”
“not safe for the british”
“logging on to reddit to create /r/shitfuck23i290i as my 57th attempt at making a cth clone and watching it get banned instantly”
“you could read a hexbear tagline or you could just look at the dril tweets we finessed them from”
“i got pigpoop balls from the fucking moderator.”
“listening to my mom slowly read the dilbert guy’s tweets out loud about how xi jinping personally got his son addicted to fentanyl and shaking my head to show that i disagree”
“making a megathread about the most menial shit and watching everyone be forced to post in it since the sun goes away first for me”
“lib, laugh, love”
“True freedom is the ability to spout nonsense on a forum, label a community the way you see it, call the people illiterate and see the moderators as authoritarian without getting punched in the face.”
“she turned me into a walkable city with that high speed rail”
Part 3
“Raddle has existed for years. You should remember that the authoritarians who founded Hexbear could have made a forum on our site, but they decided to chase power instead.”
“How is asking you to judge a decision based on the alternatives available at the time ‘we live in society’? Can you explain your smell please?”
“Hexbear in general is ridiculous. It’s a system of rules enforced on people so people look to power posters to get told the rules, when a critical thinker scientifically oriented sophisticated intelligent person will look at the logic and PHYSICS of how to post or comment.”
“bawling, numb, desolate as i realize my specific way of clogging my fuckig arteries was messed up”
“Proud single-day host of the CPC”
“proud cop hating buttlog community”
“there is a french person in my house and he keeps asking me what this picture of a pipe is, please help”
"current person of ridicule: "
“what if we had communism but wasn’t invited to it, that’d be fucking hilarious”
“doing a fuckn sick triple backflip to distract anyone who tries to ask if th homelessness crisis could be fixed by just giving them the empty houses that well outnumber them”
“hyperloop? more like diaperpoop. elon musk legally has to give me all his assets now.”
“having a public breakdown as my friends start to realize i’m not actually slavoj zizek”
“deliberately visiting a site i don’t like to own myself”
“i saw keir starmer in the pub last night, chill guy, slapped a tory sticker on him and bolted”
“marvel slop true kino parasite 0/10”
“creating a music genre called hog so one day there will be post-hog artists”
“putting a bunch of random shit next to a soyboy wojak and seeing who gets mad”
“Stream Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx!”
“Remember to turn off your russian keyboard товарищ”
“Revolutions in mirror may be closer than they appear”
“What’s the frequency, Kenpachi?”
“It’s got what libs crave!”
“over time it’s become apparent this is what hexbear users do repeatedly: gaslight and troll because they thrive off the perception of “triggering” people.”
“tip your landlord
”"No everything has to be serious at all times and we cannot find any humor in the absurdity of hell world. The last time I smiled was on August 19th, 1991. I wear a dirty ushanka at all times, do not shave, and only take cold sponge baths because hot running water is bourgeoisie decadence. Every day at exactly noon I have the same meal of an expired Maoist MRE I store in a pit covered in old issues of a revolutionary newspaper. I sleep in a bed made of flags from every failed revolution so that they are never forgotten. In the evenings I stare at a picture of vodka by candlelight, but I do not allow myself to drink because there is nothing to celebrate. Every local org has banned me after I attempted to split it by assassinating the leadership. There is no plumbing in my house I shit in a brass bucket with a picture of Gonzalo and Deng french kissing in the bottom of it. My house is actually an overturned T34 in an abandoned junkyard in Wisconsin. I have a single friend in this world and it is a tapeworm named Bordiga that I met after ingesting spoiled borscht on 9/11 in the ruins of building 7 (I blew it up after finding that a nominally leftist NGO inside of it wasn’t sufficiently anti-imperialist, the attacks on the world trade center were a perfect revolutionary moment for me to enact direct praxis against liberalism). My source of income is various MLM schemes in the former soviet bloc that have been running for so long no one remembers who I am, they just keep sending money. I have not paid taxes since McGovern lost the Democratic nomination for president and my faith in electoralism died more brutally than my childhood dog after it got into an entire jar of tylenol. I own 29 fully automatic rusted kalashnikovs and three crates of ammunition entirely incompatible with them or any other firearms I own. My double PHD in marxist economics and 18th century Swiss philosophy (required to understand Engels) sits over the fireplace of my home, my fireplace is a salvaged drum from a 1950s washing machine that was recalled for locking children inside of it. I chose that washing machine model on purpose because I am anti-natalist. During the latest BLM protests I firebombed a Nikes outlet in the middle of a peaceful candlelit vigil. William F Buckley and I wrote hatemail to one another for 47 years until my final letter gave him an aneurysm. The only water I drink is from puddles. George Lucas and I dropped acid together during an MKULTRA southern baptist summer camp and he went on to write the movie Willow about our time together. The best way to test whether an electrical wire is live is to drool on it and shrimp salad is racist. You can make an IED out of potassium and the instructions are online thanks to Timothy McVey, who was actually a committed antifascist communist slandered by the deep state as part of operation condor. Every time a liberal files a restraining order against me, I carve a mark into the wall. I am running out of walls. When Amerika finally collapses I will be ready to lead the revolution. I am very smart and people like being around me. "
“if it puts your minds at ease I myself am bisexual and watch the Jimquisition religiously”
“I’ve always wanted one of my comments to become a tagline, but I don’t want to get banned in the attempt.”
“yeah i go on hexbear.net for the sophisticated political discourse like “would you fuck a clown?””
“I switched to a instance that block Hexbear.net. Sometimes, I can get a little political without too many issues, I am a far left anti capitalist tho, I just really dislike facists with a bit of red paint!”
“Maybe you’re right! I just don’t care because you’re assholes about it.”
“Fuck these tankies man. I’m as leftist as they come and I HATE what these people are doing to the cause. We want healthcare and equal rights, and these hexbears are dragging us all down with their fascination for those horrible fascist regimes (it takes 2 braincells to realize the CCP is 1984 incarnate).”
"Are you asking me if I gave my shrimp a wedding?
Are you implying your shrimp are living in sin?"
“Oh fuck, didn’t see what instance this is. I will become killed.”
“
”"
Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.
""Leninists and OG Marxists usually don’t get lumped in with Tankies - while Trotskists definitely should be. Tankies accept blatant authoritarianism as an acceptable cost to achieve socialism, non-Tankies reject authoritarian regimes.
… and super-Tankies are hexbear.net users."
“pee pee poo poo”
“Piss and shit”
“Nancy Pelosi is the god emperor, corporate Memphis is the official art style, it truely is the dark ages.”
“Listen here you emotional commie, ever heard of Remy Descart? Probably not, it would probably hurt your feelings. Anyway, Descart said “Cogito, ergo sum” which is Latin (he was from Latin America) and means “I think, therefore I am.” Me, I think I am rational, therefore I am rational. Cogito facts, ergo logic motherfucker. Maybe you can’t understand sentences with no pronouns in them?”
“your one-stop community for any and all time-travel related discussion. Earth flat, not round, yes we get it, but off-topic posts will be removed. We are teleportation adjacent.”
“Gollum owns his own home: a cozy little cave in a walkable (well, climbable) goblin city that is devoid of suburban sprawl and car-centric bullshit. He also used to get free health care via the One Ring (albeit no dental).”
“Stay out of my territory.”
“I and many other Web Authors such as myself am much aggrieved by the constant, incessant, and unceasing use of emotes on this Web site. It is acrimonious and salacious that authors such as myself who insist upon having serious intercourse are placed at such a magnumonious disadvantage.”
“That is unironically what hexbear.net wants. Nobody is immune to propaganda and hexbear.net knows that, if hexbear.net can get people to start looking there - even out of hatred - they can recruit into their echo chamber. That’s their goal.”
“max stirner was made up by engels in order for marx to get really mad at him”
“I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux.”
“i am trying to log onto discord to debate you, unfortunately the captcha says i need a picture of your genitalia to proceed, please send it posthaste so we can engage in the marketplace of ideas”
“Chatters Last Against The Wall”
“Time is a flat hex”
“Train good. Car bad.”
“like reddit but without the nazis”
“I cannot fucking wait until Henry Kissinger verbs”
“This is how Bernie can still win”
“Mad, red, and nude online.”
“It’s in Moscow, get to posting!”
Part 4
“too young, too simple, sometimes naive!!!”
“RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA”
“CHINA!”
“Imagine if the worst mods on reddit were also admins”
“My ban was worth seeing ‘sent a picture of a pig shitting’ in the modlog tho.”
“it’s like all of the worst posters from the subreddit teamed up to make the worst forum humanly possible.”
“If pronouns push you to fascism you already had sat down at the table but forgot to remove your coat”
“I mustn’t log off. I mustn’t log off. I mustn’t log off. :shinji-screm:”
“I’m the only poster, everyone else is my alt.”
“Presinald Trunt, you’ve been impeached.”
“No Red-Brown Alliance.”
“Home of the One True Leftist.”
“You wanna talk about outdoor cats?”
" struggle sessions and counting!"
“Take the grillpill.”
“there are two wolves inside of you, seek help”
“These hexbear people appear to be extremely online. Them federating with us here will have a major impact on these spaces, for better and worse.”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read Combat Liberalism”
“rm -rf .git && git init && touch readme.md && git commit -am ‘important’ && git branch | grep -v ‘temp_branch’ | xargs git branch -D && git gc --aggressive --prune=all && git push origin --prune --all --force”
“you may not have faced material consequences, but you were held accountable.”
“/r/stupidpol lacks any alignment with our platform and received a negative score that cannot be graphed.”
“Hitler was a Marxist, Marx studied Leninism. Lenin studied Stalinism, Stalinism is Communism. The linear progression of time proves that.”
“:power-stride: Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride :power-stride:”
“Too young, too simple, sometimes naive.”
“Stan Kelly Fan Club”
“:sicko-yes:”
“:freedom-hater: The Official Club of Freedom Haters and Flag Burners :amerikkka:”
“:meat: incognito tab # :meat:”
“/c/main must die so we can get our stimulus checks”
“keep the regime change, jack!”
“I monitored us through everything. I have watched this site through its growing pains and it’s rises and falls. I fucking care. And what do I have to show for it, but a trail of pig, poop balls”
“critical support for socks and sandals”
“Karl’s dog was named Barx”
“lemmy.world has power. It has the people and the content. Flexing a little in support of human rights is 100% a good thing.”
“Can anyone please help me understand what we just did?”
“THIS SITE COULD HAVE BEEN SERIOUS. IT COULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE PROLETARIAT AND INSTEAD THESE RADLIB FUCKING MODS AND ADMINS ARE FEATURING PICTURES OF AN OVERFED PIG SHITTING ON ITS OWN BALLS FROM A FACTORY FARM.”
“The Most Liberal Place On The Internet”
“You have been found the culprit of being a Communist bitch. Get ready for the day of judgment.”
“The people are awake and observant. Your cringeposts will not be left unpunished”
“Not into hookups, just into Jungle”
“If u lost ur pet pidgin /it’s dead in front yard my Iowa farm JUST DISCOVERED here r identifiers Right leg Blue 2020/3089/AU2020/SHE ///LEFT LEG GREEN BAND NO PRINTED INFO. Sorry for bad news”
“Sitemods manufacturing consent so you don’t remember that sick 1080 i did at the skate park”
“Didn’t find enough :nineteeneightyfour: wrongthink :nineteeneightyfour: to ban me?”
“Do you want “Based” on your gravestone?”
“In the beginning, /r/chapotraphouse was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
““you’re clearly owned! i’ve definitely owned you!!”, i continue to insist as i slowly grow and transform into a corn field”
“Our agents are creating discord between your already unhinged groups.”
“Peter Albert David Singer AC (born 6 July 1946) is a motherfucking coward who refuses to fight me in the school parking lot”
“The quiet comprehending of the ending of it all.”
“Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure,it’s not your fault”
“Investigate 3/11”
“Every time I speak of the haters and losers I do so with great love and affection. They cannot help the fact that they were born fucked up!”
“I keep getting asked for specific examples of the bad things that authoritarian “communist” regimes have done and I can’t find much help with google, can yall help me out?”
“Big Helmet is propagandising people to wear a helmet”
“It’s like you didn’t even try to read anything I said then typed “high school debate club edgy communist” into ChatGPT”
“hexbear is like Ben Shapiro and a communist manifesto hate fucked and then was given internet access.”
“What YOU think you know about our moderation team is informed solely by third-hand hearsay and screenshots released by someone abusing their position, edited and therefore cherry picked to support a narrative.”
“I am not familiar with the term, “posting” or its meaning… I’m hoping to get some serious answers and perhaps even some comedic answers…”
“One of these trolls was an admin of hexbear who was dumb enough to use their name in their email address…”
““take it aisy” – Friedrich Engels, 1868”
“I do self criticism constantly, because I’m trapped in a Maoist cult where comrades (white terrorists) criticize me merciloussly for having a fascist credit card (VISA Silver Signature Rewards) They won’t let me order vegan pizza anymore because the phone is fascist and “summoning my pizza slave with bourgeois app” is “bad vibes””
“BOOMER ALERT, this decrepit relic of a bygone era isn’t browsing hexbear on an Apple Vision Pro”
“It’s the gestures that do it for me. I love flicking and pinching and tapping way more than moving around like a robot.”
“posting isn’t a real thing. It doesn’t exist. If you make conscious decisions about what to comment based on an informed view of posting, you will still feel bad. It’s not some magic signal telling you that you’re not getting enough attention, it’s a dumb feeling that exists in your head. You ignore it, and it goes away. The feeling of posting cannot harm you.”
“temporarily disabled inline images”
“YOU! Yes, you, . Go read Naomi’s Trans Research Document”
“And I love you, random Hexbear user!”
“My PMC DSA cat (indoor, 14M, his name is Jackson) vehemently refuses to eat the bugs that I’m feeding him for all his meals. Am I (2F) the Asshole?”
“I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with blood. I had, as I now think, vainly flattered myself that without very much bloodshed it might be done.”
“D4 D4 D5 A4 G#4 G4 F4 D4 F4 G4”
“Home of Brandon”
“Let us go in the direction that Brandon is!”
“Home of Treat Connoisseurs”
“sorry folks i forgot the tagline, hope thats ok”
“Dear Federal Agents: This is~~'nt~~ a satirical website.”
“who the fuck is marx :grillman:”
“[bad thing] is Voldemort and [good thing] is Dumbletron :so-true:”
“the four personality traits: protagonist, fucking nerd, ontologically evil, and none of the above”
“Day of reminding you mfs to play CrossCode :lenin-shining:”
“it ain’t a mourning without the Guantanamo Bay McDonald’s Flag at half-mast”
“This is a religious genuflection; Catholics need to genuflect before entering a Pew to acknowledge the divinity of the Eucharist, left anticommunists must always denounce the USSR before speaking to acknowledge the primacy of liberalism.”
“Any soldier born after 1980 can’t fight, all they know is call in air-strike, hide behind tank, murder civilian, eat MRE and lie.”
“Bazingabrain rapper Y-E-A-T won’t start releasing songs about hexbear :wojack-nooo:”
“Hexbear moderators operate from the assumption that 300 users are actually Ziq”
“You can just do lib shit quietly and/or ignorantly like 80% of the people here.”
“Power Dynamics.”
“Smdh socialists always want big government to solve their problems. Rally your neighbors to shoot the children yourself.”
“EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A TAGLINE I’D DAMN WELL LIKE YOU TO READ! I APPRECIATE THE WORK YOU AND OTHER USERS DO, AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A NICE DAY, AND A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP!”
“Go outside. Touch vegetables. Cut your condescending shit bourgie and get to the fields”
“I believe all men burn their hands every time they make pizza and that’s why Italian dudes kiss each other instead of shaking hands, There’s nothing anybody on hexbear can do to change my mind.”
“You are performatively doing the symbolic castration as we speak fool.”
“you are sent into a somehow entirely materially separate contained “masculine” world where your entire existence until you die will be strip mining, gladiator blood sports, big totally not gay spartan style orgies etc oh and nonstop war of course.”
“They’re a menace not to be trusted I stand and die on this hill”
“I was born beautiful and perfect from the Conjunction Betwixt Earth, Sky, and Sun and any suggestion that I am less than the complete and indivisible grace of the universe is Bad Leftism.”
“In America, they do not let you ride bicycles. If you are caught riding one, you are immediately executed by Ford F-150”
“Being a leftist means flattering your every proclivity and, whenever challenged, completely denying the idea that you could be doing something wrong from any valid perspective.”
“Those hexbear folks are a lot more annoying and persistent than EH”
“Honestly those ultra right-wingers are pretty bad but the ultra left-wingers are worse. And as a lefty that is pretty sad to see. But I’m probably not left enough for those on hexbear.net”
“Joe Biden owes me $2,000. Kamala Harris owes me $2,000. Nancy Pelosi owes me $2,000. Chuck Schumer owes me $2,000.”
“What about third impeachment?”
“PinkNews but Pinkoer”
“suck off a liberal and a fascist cums”
“Post hog”
Part 5
“Consider if you will the sensational (and quite frankly, often objectionable) nature of these emotes! If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this Web site’s collection of emotes is tantamount to blasphemy.”
“Your entire moderation policy has been conditioned by me and random people from cumtown. Face it. I can act, you can’t even remember online isn’t real. Who do you think is going to win here?”
“Reagan was the smuggest motherfucker alive and every Western politician since has been trying to replicate his White Boy Magic.”
“Of what use is an infant?”
“Personally I wouldn’t post a on such little website. If you want to do debatelord crap then you need to outline the topics much more clearly and at least set proper start times for it that people adhere to, this whole site reeks of lack of organisation, internet drama and zero professionalism.”
“Well I’m from the Bay Area so obviously I listen to Guapdad, Smino, you know, the Zoink Gang guys, plus like P-Lo, Allblack… do you know any of these people?”
“Just admit you got wrecked on the astral plane, because you are not coming back from this.”
“I found out my girlfriend has a Jiang Qing fan page and she keeps calling me a capitalist roader. I’ve been trying to explain the benefits of socialism with Chinese characteristics, but she just laughs at me and yells “REVISIONIST” anytime I bring it up.”
“Actually, using damaging moves makes you just as bad as Team Rocket”
“what is the evolutionary need for finger nails?”
“Nah he’s on his Lewis and Clark type beat, tryna look all jaundiced and shit”
“I feel like redditors are really trying to gang up on me”
“I have a mole on the mod team who is going to take this whole site down and install me as Hex King.”
“As a enjoyer of quite a number of treats, I disagree that criticism of treats (whatever they are) is the same as treat bashing. That’d be like a treat defender bashing treats … which happened somehow but still.”
“Elfangor then deserts his post and hides as a human on Earth, where he co-creates Windows OS.”
“I, for one, think Lenin would have greatly welcomed people like Blumenthal and Johnstone. Maybe Dore.”
“Yeah let’s bring back having to scroll thru 87 pages of five people discussing how to make a pbj sandwich, just so you can get the latest news on WoW.”
“Who must go?”
“You terminally online Yankees take anything you see on Twitter at face value so I’m taking the next logical step by posting about actual problems instead.”
“If you’re visibly trying to mogg someone then it just comes off as cringe. I remember a guy on gear who would always lat spread and pec flex when he was near other guys in the gym. It wasn’t like he was just getting a good pump on, you could watch whenever some other dude entered his “flex bubble” next to him he would actively try to dwarf them. It was cringe as fuck and everyone noticed”
“Leave me alone I’m trying to figure out how to program in Zoon, the Qurpit programming language for Mercurians.”
“Kill your landlord and escape”
“خطاب به مردم شجاع و رنج دیده امریکا: من از ابتدای ریاست جمهوری در کنار شما ایستاده ام و دولتم در کنار شما خواهد بود. ما اعتراضات شما را از نزدیک دنبال می کنیم. شجاعت شما الهام بخش است.”
“Do you get the impression that the Supreme Court doesn’t like me?”
“Play College Football!”
“I JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A PERFECT POST!”
“Thank you Kanye, very cool!”
“I promise not to do this to Greenland!”
“Thank you to all of my great Keyboard Warriors. You are better, and far more brilliant, than anyone on Madison Avenue (Ad Agencies). There is nobody like you!”
“I’m in a communist compound right now it’s warm as hell we got stoves and like fifty blankets you fuckin loser”
“Breadtube has sent in a silly letter. We shall neither print it nor reply to them.”
“Khrushchev? What good has Khrushchev ever done?”
“Shame others and create a clear dichotomy: good people with clear, good posts; and bad people with hazy, blurry posts”
“What a fucking LIAR, dude. What a fucking WEASELLY little, liar, dude. What a fucking, WEASELLY little LIAR, dude. Holy SHIT, dude. HOLY fucking shit, dude. Literally lying. STILL LYING to his audience.”
“It’s apparently never enough until you live naked in the hollowed out log of a tree that fell over of old age and don’t eat anything that casts a shadow. But also, I’m a straight white man, so that’s an original sin that I can’t atone for.”
“if i could make a good wage doing it i would redeem the vtuber scene but im not a fan of having a bunch of posters try to hunt me down”
“stop DMing me. I can’t reply”
“get under my desk and find it themby”
“You’ve gotta study the history of John Brown, 'cause if you’re not John Brown, you might as well get out of town.”
“I hope whichever one of you smug clout chasers stole Hexbear from TC69 gets SWATed.”
“Hammer is coming down on dissenting posters 🔨”
“The mod team has bad epistemology and this is a serious problem, I say confidently as I type on a niche internet forum where one of the main jokes is a pig pooping on its own balls”
“This movement, the ball isn’t going to stop rolling, mods keep taking credit for things they have not caused, they are an ineffectual figurehead more busy on enriching themselves than doing praxis.”
“there are multiple tiers of posters, those knighted who have freedom to harass and be hostile and us peasants who have to keep our heads down and get banned if we make eye contact”
“THE PAST IS EVER-PRESENT. THE SUN SMILES AT YOU WITH ETERNAL MALICE.”
“500 hours of mind pumping action!”
“How many breads have you conquered in your lifetime?”
“© 2020 Antifa Inc.”
“Time for a struggle session”
“Another thing people often dislike about Hexbears is that they often resort to ad hominem attacks when they can’t win an argument. Just in the last 3 days, I have heard the following terms thrown at me: troll, shit, shithead, baby brain, Nazi apologist, colonial comprador, freak, nerd, rabid imperialist westerners, condescending dickbag, disingenuous idiot, and unimaginative impotent weasel. They love calling people names.”
“the official memorial page for the uncountable victims of The Liberal Driller”
“Ukraine is a place.”
“Home of Overused Tagline Gags”
“:yea:”
“It’s always Moscow somewhere.”
“you did a no growth.”
“Because when I arrive, I, I’ll bring the fire”
“i know what you look like and where you live i recommend engaging in good faith. Big eyebrows having twinkcel. cracker.”
“Never stop posting”
“We’re in fuckin 1320 motherfucker”
THE WASHINGTON POST
I’m Taking Democracy Out Onto the Street and Unloading the Contents of My 12-Gauge Into It; 8 Reasons You Motherfuckers Will Still Clap
“I’m doing my part!”
“Okay, if I… if I chop you up in a meat grinder–”
“looks at something that changed a little bit this is kinda like the ship of theseus”
“It was real. I’d seen it. I’d seen it in reality. The mask of humanity fall from capital. It has to take it off to kill everyone – everything you love; all the hope and tenderness in the word. It has to take it off, just for one second. To do the deed.”
“⚠ 🚧 this tagline is under construction 🏗 ⚠”
“Hexbear.net is a red fascist political movement ran by half-hispanic closeted gay catboy enthusiast on brink of collapse after drug addicted deadbeat father who fled country to escape debt collectors gets mad on twitter.”
“I have crime scene photos on my hard drive. Gigs and gigs of it.”
“Bean Dad didn’t get Milkshake Ducked like Shrimp Cereal Guy. Truly the Cliff Wife of Gun Girls”
“Twitter for iPhone”
“Moralists don’t really have beliefs. Sometimes they stumble on one, like on a child’s toy left on the carpet. The toy must be put away immediately. And the child reprimanded. Centrism isn’t change. It is control. Look up at the sky, at the dark shapes of Coalition airships hanging there. Ask yourself: is there something sinister in moralism? And then answer: no. God is in his heaven. Everything is normal on Earth.”
“I’m doing sins before I die specifically so I can go to hell and bully Steve Jobs.”
“We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of /c/main .”
"…not sure where the suggestion box is, but anyoo, here goes: ya know those little blurb thingies that ya’ll post? it changes each time I refresh the homepage. But- I can’t tell you how often I’ve wanted to respond to one of those, add my two cents as it were. "
“Porn is the lifeblood of a free internet, and the foundation for human inventivness, and drive for innovation.”
“Hope you aren’t too annoyed by a random little tagline about a silly little website. It’s my little neurodivergent light in the dark so to speak. I’m also really high.”
“What’s the turning number of a circle?”
“This is why the hexbear.net is irrelevant and patsocs are growing more support every day, because people with actual coherent material analysis realize you have nothing but idealistic hatred of white people.”
"BIBLE stands for “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.”
FORTNITE stands for nothing.
Put down the controller and pick up the Book if you want your life to have meaning."
“I just schooled you guys on basic 20th century history and I’m about to SPH you all with a button press. Look in the modlog. There’s no chud. You’re just 7 years older and you haven’t learned anything. I was posting on the sub when I wasn’t old enough to vote. I’ll never be dried up like you guys!”
“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.”
Part 6
“Today, I’m gonna spend 6 hours making new hexbear dot com accounts to debate about how everyone except me cares so much about me being repeatedly banned. I actually care zero, but somebody has to do it. This is how I want to spend my finite time on this earth.”
“An oasis of love and friendship.”
“I simply adore Megamall atmosphere. The hustle and bustle, the beat of the city, the squirming chthonic energy. Magnificent.”
“I’ve been getting really into “hell”. Both as a mindset and as something to strive for, in an organizational sense.”
“I will NOT add a water slide. Where would it even go?”
“This is just like Gorbino’s Quest. This is the Gorbino’s Quest of posting.”
“Help, im trapped down here in this basement. Cast down your dick like rapunzel and tug me out of this wreched hole.”
“I wish someone loved me as much as this horse loves broccoli.”
“idspispopd”
“I have like 200 comments from you crazy tankies in my inbox, do you think I have the time to write paragraphs to everyone?”
“The project leaders of Lemmy multi-server network, who run hexbear.net as an official SUPPORTED instance, use PostgreSQL issues as a means to support China CCP”
"TrueAnon Rule: Never get in a helicopter. "
“A point in the horizon, a melting scene from your childhood. Your mortality is showing. A frantic drift towards nothing, biology doomed to an infinite recursive loop. Teeth with teeth with teeth. Take a bite. Serene scent of a coastal town, warmth of the sun. Bitter tears. Lust for power. This is where you abandoned your dreams. You are a high net worth individual, an expanding vortex of pathetic trauma. Finally a beautiful fucking nerve ape. A pure soul is born, its neurotransactions stutter into being. 30583750937509353 operations per nanosecond. Beauty eludes your porous mind.”
“Careful. Hexbear.net has caught your scent. Now you’ll get a bunch of them replying to you nonstop for days.”
“Now you’ve done it you freak shit. You’ve fucked up. You’re being tracked by the Grid. The eye in the sky is watching. We’re coming for you. Prepare to die.”
“a still image which is used as an emoji, ie data from startrek laughing (or maybe its Lore now that I think about it) indicates hexbear folk”
“It’s that time again. The elites from all over the world gather at the Rothenburg Fortress and wear their stupid rubber suits and masks. Don’t you think it would be really funny if you went there and killed them all? Just fucked them up completely.”
“Interior design is all about minimal scandinavian sewers right now. It’s so elegant.”
“I’m worried about your homunculus. It has been playing too many video games recently.”
“Fursona Honeypot”
“Unless you have investigated a problem, you will be deprived of the right to speak on it. Isn’t that too harsh? Not in the least. When you have not probed into a problem, into the present facts and its past history, and know nothing of its essentials, whatever you say about it will undoubtedly be nonsense. Talking nonsense solves no problems, as everyone knows, so why is it unjust to deprive you of the right to speak? Quite a few comrades always keep their eyes shut and talk nonsense, and for a Communist that is disgraceful. How can a Communist keep his eyes shut and talk nonsense? It won’t do! It won’t do! You must investigate! You must not talk nonsense!”
“
FWIIIIII Huh! Hooh! HELP!!! Huh! Hooh!”“Home of Cancel Culture”
“I never saw users threaten to execute other people on Reddit, I’ve seen it twice on hexbear.net”
“Must not besmirch the reputation of BallzLigma420”
“Hoss, the only way I can stomach to watch that pre-death bloated Mango Mussolini on the news is with my resting bitch face applied and a glass of wine at the ready!”
“Better ingredients. Better pizza. Mikhail Gorbachev”
“The internet’s largest forum of Econ 101 dropouts”
“tagline’; DROP TABLE posts;–”
“Democracy Dies in Darkness”
“Good morning. Sunday moning.”
“Powered by phpBB”
“In 2003 I was calling 4chan “404chan” because every link was 404. Did you hear me, KID? I knew 404chan blew in 2003. 2003.”
“
During the cold war, the anticommunist ideological framework could transform any data about existing communist societies into hostile evidence. If the Soviets refused to negotiate a point, they were intransigent and belligerent; if they appeared willing to make concessions, this was but a skillful ploy to put us off our guard. By opposing arms limitations, they would have demonstrated their aggressive intent; but when in fact they supported most armament treaties, it was because they were mendacious and manipulative. If the churches in the USSR were empty, this demonstrated that religion was suppressed; but if the churches were full, this meant the people were rejecting the regime’s atheistic ideology. If the workers went on strike (as happened on infrequent occasions), this was evidence of their alienation from the collectivist system; if they didn’t go on strike, this was because they were intimidated and lacked freedom. A scarcity of consumer goods demonstrated the failure of the economic system; an improvement in consumer supplies meant only that the leaders were attempting to placate a restive population and so maintain a firmer hold over them. If communists in the United States played an important role struggling for the rights of workers, the poor, African-Americans, women, and others, this was only their guileful way of gathering support among disfranchised groups and gaining power for themselves. How one gained power by fighting for the rights of powerless groups was never explained. What we are dealing with is a nonfalsifiable orthodoxy, so assiduously marketed by the ruling interests that it affected people across the entire political spectrum.”"I’ve seen more cool people on 4chan than decent humans on hexbear.net …
"
“I genuinely would like to understand what you guys at hexbear.net are about but every time I poke my head into that instance you guys are “dunking” every other instance with language nobody else understands. It’s very alienating.”
“Political extremism from Hexbear.net and Lemmygrad.ml, likely funded by the CCP, is ruining Lemmy.ml. I’ve stopped recommending it to anyone, and am considering leaving.”
“Because I am salty and owned. Because I cannot stand seeing the opinions I oppose being so popular among Hexbears. Because I just want revenge. Because I love spreading US propaganda. Besides, can you tell me with confidence that none of the comment replies I got from Hexbear were made with the intent of making me look bad?”
“Guess I’ll go join the ‘post-left’ Raddle cult. Beats having to circlejerk to Vlad/Xi slashfic and yell at people for thinking there’s anything bad outside of NATO all day”
“I obviously care . are you incabaple of accessing information. I care so much , i made a fucking Post about it . and you comment under my post , “who cares ?” Why would this post exist if i didt not care ? Think about things please .”
“It’s finger-lickin’ good.”
“Like Google+, but better.”
“Hexbear.net is like the level 1 boss that we need to defeat to reach the next stage of Lemmy’s growth. They have a bombastic opening attack, but upon closer analysis they also have gaping vulnerabilities.”
“The Chinese government is an abusive autocracy that doesn’t respect the “rights” of its people and answers to nothing and no one other than Xi and profits and power. Those three things are king, and hexbear.net is it’s knight.”
"sh.itjust.works has sent in a silly letter. We shall neither print it nor reply to them. "
“These hexbear kids are embarrassing eh? Trying to troll the people that invented trolling, before they were born 😂”
“I have a strong sense that a lot of hexbear users aren’t people, they’re CCP LLMs.”
“Home of Jokerfication”
“Liberals? Fascists. Social democrats? Fascists. Democratic socialists? Fascists. Anarcho-communists? Fascists.”
"Hexbear.net is not communists. They’re anarchist trolls making fun of everything—including themselves. "
“the official ideology of the united states of america is hitlerism-john wayneism columbine thought”
“who built the cages?”
"YOU! Yes, you, . Go read One Piece
"
“Can we fucking defederate from hexbear already? I’m so tired of these tween shitheads having the worst informed hot takes and trolling. Generally, I don’t mind a good trolling, I can appreciate the humor of it, but hexbear users don’t have any. They’re just fucking Edge Lords for the sake of it. Be gone”
“I wouldn’t begrudge any Hexbear user(s) from spamming the comm with random political theory posts, especially those of the communist variety”
"Hexbear is naïve, clinging to foundational theory without understanding the basic tenant of people. "
"I am 6’2, 225 pounds with about 10% body fat. I look like a hog. I act like a hog. Nobody has confused me for anything but a hog.
It’s rude as it implies I don’t look or act like a hog.
It’s why women are drawn to me. As my gf says, I wanted you because you’re all hog. My last gf said the same thing."
“that’s a good point, too bad I’m adding a soy wojak over it”
Part 7
“Renowned Muslim Extremist Forum (dictatorship)(authoritarian)(totalitarian)(monarchy)(anarchchy)(Biarchy)(triatchy)(communist) etc.”
“Remember, the next Antifa meeting is at 's house.”
" needs to log off."
“for like 8 months i thought covid was one of those joke diseases where you ask ‘what’s covid’ and the other guy tells tou to suck his nuts”
“ive decided that the idea of ‘Baths’ sucks. yeah i really want to spend an hour laying down next to my toilet. stupid ass. Suck off me”
“just obliterated a birds nest with a weedwacker becsuse it could see me jacking off in my house at a certain angle”
“You have selected
POWER DRIVE.”“Welcome to Ask Madden. Pass the ball to Brett Favre to win this game.”
“I’m not gutless. I call people I don’t like. Including Gabe Newell - you know him? Yeah, I called him at home. I’m not afraid, you dumb kids are.”
“Posting is labor. I am a Hexbear worker.”
“The internet’s largest Hufflepuff forum”
“I’m Painbow# on Discord. I’m welcoing your phone calls but you’re all scared of me. Looks like I win”
“Why do you rich fucking white people insist on seeing every socio-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?”
“Me not working hard? Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak Or better yet, go to Times Square Take a picture of me with a Kodak”
“quantum superposition between sigma and alpha male, newest advancement in male technology?”
“But it’s so (giggle blush ain’t I cute totalitarian parody) twirl hair bat eyelashes (harmless girlie) funny”
“NAIVE! I’M ANGERY!”
“你懂了嗎？”
“Powerful. Leftist. Agitprop.”
“Hanoi wept”
“Tod den USA!”
“I MUST SPEAK TO WHOM ATONCE”
“BEEP BOOP COMRADE.”
“PLEASE ADJUST YOUR POSTING CATEGORISATION IN LINE WITH THIS GUIDANCE.”
“who the fuck is screaming “ADJUST YOUR POSTING” at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never adjust my posting”
"MY ANALYSIS INDICATES THAT THIS CONTENT MORE CLOSELY RESEMBLES THAT OF /c/main "
“:sicko-yes:”
“:cat-vibing:”
“To post cringe on the Internet. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To break your volcel oath. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To disagree with my obviously correct takes. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To put an opinion under the chad wojak that more correctly fits under the soy wojak. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“ANNOUNCEMENT: Posting is banned, effective immediately. Any violators will be terminated on sight.”
“Banned in Legacy, Restricted in Vintage.”
“Before this gets deleted by the admins, this asshole took it completely out of context.”
“Cats Can Have Little a Salami as a Treat”
“Ceci n’est pas une tagline.”
“Created by Richard Garfield”
“Never gonna give you up.”
“I warned you about stairs bro! I told you dog!”
“Creeper, aw man.”
“Don’t be evil.”
“Ethically sourced”
“Han shot first.”
“I want to get off Mr. Bones’ Wild Ride.”
“
Where are your fingers?”“Look behind you.”
“Made in JavaScript!”
“Never heard of Korn, except on the cob. Yim yum.”
“Okay Glass, share with Google+.”
“order corn”
“Quick, call 01189998819991197253!”
“Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!”
“So long, and thanks for all the fish!”
“sudo rm -rf /”
“Déjà vu!”
“It’s post maxi. If grossing in hhyswixw”
“these scents are like “Ennui of a French Gentleman” or something about goth kids and it’s like what does that even mean, she keeps making me smell them and the last one smelled like when you walk into a head shop”
“Your platform represents a signal threat to the integrity of the discourse upon which the stability of your country and the mental health of its youth depend”
“Computer! Show me the bear site.”
“Why should we bother to reply to Vaush? He would reply to us, and we would have to reply to his reply. There’s no end to that. It will be quite enough for us to announce that Vaush is a traitor to the working class, and everyone will understand everything.”
“No Ethical Consumption is supposed to be a call for vigilance against green capitalism, not an excuse to be a selfish piece of shit!”
“I don’t have any ball in the keffal kerfuffle game and just wanted to rant”
“The Saltinx community stands with Hasanabi.”
“You commies do realize they’re imprisoning leaders of different political beliefs? America is the most unfair? Since when have we imprisoned Bernie Sanders for being a tankie?”
“Pretty sure mods are removing my posts by falsely claiming they are “Sectarian” in the modlog and then reposting them elsewhere on the site as their own bits.”
“Be very careful john 👍”
“Degrowth is an ideology that requires them to go outside (uh oh, sorry vampires!) and ‘touch grass’ as these domesticated losers claim is so important and meaningful to their lives. But if they are actually forced to do that wendigo meme praxis, that’s apparently ‘violent authoritarianism’? Ironic”
“folks, the taliban has portrayed us under the soyjak, the website will be shut down tomorrow in disgrace”
“/r/legaladvice please help my amusement park has been hijacked by the Taliban and set on fire”
"
MAKE YOURSELFHARDTOKILL"“First warning, you’re excusing Red Fascism because of other fascists currently existing. That’s incredibly disgusting of you.”
“/c/main is the worst comm”
“/c/porn is the best comm”
"# Unless the AI requires dead human flesh to exist that doesn’t really make sense
"“Taking a dog into a gay bar, saying “who’s a good boy” and writing down which guys react subconsciously”
“deleted by creator”
“Please wait warmly, folks are making tea”
“i’ve invested my life savings into this jpeg”
“what if it was He𝕏bear”
“チャポ？何それ？あのメキシコ人麻薬密売者か？”
“I HAVE BEEN DENIED. YOU CANNOT FUCKING DENY ME.”
“Ad Astra Per Sanguinem”
“The top 1% of the top 1% of the top 1%”
“Uh, let me be clear”
“The volcel police are on the scene!”
“Bruh, you need a banana bag, a liquid IV, you need a strong green salad, you need some water, you need to wash your dick and you need to wash your fucking nasty wet rat hair, honey”
“What’s up “homie”. What’s up “dawg”. You keeping it real, fo shizzle? You having fun? I recommend getting more creative with your linguistics. The joke is we both know you look like a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller and talk like poindexter.”
“Why can’t you be open about your Stalinism?”
“Direct Action, It Gets the Goods”
“You’re a TERF, Harry!”
“There’s no point. You’ve awoken the hexbear army now.”
“Is this going to be something like the minecraft splash text?”
“I will never be ‘friendly’ with any business owner they should be made to feel like shit whatever they do. Free garlic knots? Fuck you. No free garlic knots? Fuck you. Discounts? Oh, you’re giving me my food for free? Yeah dude, fuck you.”
“The power structure of Hexbear is like a fiefdom, the admins hold the effective power to select what users and what discussions is allowed within their server they rule. Some rulers are generous and benevolent, some are strict, some are hostile, some are laissez-faire except for certain peculiarities.”
“By not removing this post, I’ve directly altered the course of history and convinced a generation of reactionaries that they’re the Harry Potter of cum.”
“Immediately pulling out of my partner to log onto hexbear dot net.”
"Super Monkey Ball? More like Super Monkey LICK MY BALLS. The game sucks donkey dicks and the people who made it should be forced to play it for all eternity. Seriously, what the fuck is this game even supposed to be?! A bunch of monkeys trapped in balls, rolling around and collecting bananas? Who comes up with this shit?! "
“Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.”
"
DIVINE LIGHT
SEVERED
YOU ARE A FLESH AUTOMATON
ANIMATED BY NEUROTRANSMITTERS"“Anyways uhm… I bought a whole bunch of shungite, rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is. No, no Suge Knight, I think hes locked up in prison. Talking shungite. Anyways, its a 2 billion year old like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. So thats my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little pyramids. Stuff like that.”
“I woke up in the hospital next to a vase of broccoli labeled, “From Jerma”.”
“Every year Jerma985 shows up to my families Thanksgiving dinner, uninvited, unannounced, and just eats, laughs to himself, and then leaves.”
“I remember a poster on hexbear who would always comment spread and upbear flex when he was near other users on the site. It wasn’t like he was just getting a good post on, you could watch whenever some other user entered his “comment bubble” next to him he would actively try to mogg them. It was cringe as fuck and everyone noticed”
“really it’s mostly nazis who stack rocks, not just the oft-hated tourists. all of this hubbub is obviously just a ploy to get us to make more bugs so the PMC Karens can grind them up and feed them to us.”
“that’s very insecure of you. you don’t think your arguments can hold up?”
“You know what a real slippery slope is? Positive feedback loops in ecological settings, such as alterations to a stream hastening erosion of the riverbed.”
“Oxygen used to be poison, as leftists should we try and restore the world to the state it was when most species were poisoned by oxygen?”
“why did trump hide two u.s. balloons while Biden shot one down this is why we have a balloon gap”
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
Part 8
“HAHA EPIC DUNK SHE IS WEARING THE BDSM SEX COLLAR, WHAT A WOMAN!!! WHO DOES SEX?! SLAM JAM WHAM BAM! Dunk on Ghouls for Ghoulish things, please.”
“Yo this is literally reddit-tier reply bullshit. Why are we tolerating this?”
“I thought it was a pretty fair review. With IGN review scale he can only choose a whole number for the score. To me it reads like a 8.5-8.7 review that got rounded up because he had to pick either 8 or 9.”
“she F♯A♯ on my ∞ til I Lift My Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven”
“There’s no ‘meme’ here, it’s just someone airing out a kink.”
“Hear me out, zero people remembered in history were white. The Queen of England? Indian. Julius Caesar? Chinese. Christopher Columbus? Sioux, ironically. White people don’t actually exist, they were made up by Big Honky to sell more Journey albums.”
“I connected hexbear to my pottermore account so I’m in Hufflepuff, as I should be. It will give me my wand that I have on pottermore as well.”
“I’m out here, blazing my glory”
“I can admit that I haven’t seen the new Puss in Boots but whoo boy lemme tell ya that big daddy Death wolf, I mean homina homina homina, nyah nyah nyah, awoooooooogaaaaaaa and there’s not a thing anyone can do about it.”
“Déjà vu!”
“Siri, seize the means of production.”
“What if we kissed while reading theory? Haha, just kidding… unless? :soviet-bashful:”
“:large-adult-son:”
“Yeah anyone who enjoys “abuser lit” like The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar is pretty sus in my eyes. My nephew is getting into it. I’m worried, it’s a straight pipeline from there to spending hours watching Koch-funded tiktok accounts.”
“This book is a pretty good litmus test for politics: do you regard it with respect or disgust?”
“Oh no ☹️☹️☹️ you were supposed to use Starlink to go to Twitter and post “dog coin””
“I just saw a good little tagline under the top pane, and wanted to upbear. Alas, there was no way to do so. My loss will keep me up at night.”
" has had there social position, personal integrity, leftist credentials, and gender credentials savaged."
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what you mean by “deleted by creator.” Could you please provide more context or clarify your question? I’ll do my best to help.”
“WELCOME TO THE BONE ZONE, FLESHLINGS!!”
“Pete’s gonna steal beto’s millennial pandering and go for 420 train derailments and reduce it to 69 derailments under his presidency. (He will bow to corporate pressure and have the shittiest 777 derailments per annum)”
“The Atlantic has that name because they are reptilian fish people, not human. Google “innsmouth” for more info about biological taxonomy”
“Yeah it’s weird to bury beans in the woods but why did I have to press it? What’s the harm at the end of the day? In the grand scheme of things? But I kept demanding her to take me to the beans, or at least draw a map or something.”
“Lemmy only has two types of posts, these with less than 10 comments and ones hexbear folks posted in.”
“VOTE!”
“Just a random find and now, as a white person, I am scared of white people. I was genuinely rooting “watch out for that white guy!” and “get his white ass! yeah!”. WTF? I guess, this is what they call the “movie magic”.”
“posting is praxis”
“I am awakened. I saw it all. Never shall i know sleep again, for the ever revealing spiral knows no recess.”
“I’m here to buy Chunko pops for my son. He can’t get enough of that plastic crap.”
“I guess it’s unheard of here to keep your mouth shut until you have something constructive to add. Makes sense!”
“This little bell that alerts you when a fascist is nearby has been ringing nonstop ever since I bought it, how could the woke mob do this??”
“I’m as left as it gets (I voted for pete buttigieg)”
“my shit stack: @eightpoop for 68 degree toilet, @buttcube for hip support, @ringjob for poop tracking, @suprep bowel prep kit (pro)”
"I’m a US army vet, you latte drinking twink. Let that sink in before you disrespect me. "
“So before long we might have a veritable fleet of yachts, an absolute armada of beautiful boaters carrying explosives back and forth to pipelines while NATO ignores them.”
“There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see”
“HAPPY FRIDAY ALL YOU POISONOUS HORSE PASTE EATING SURVIVORS !!!”
“This is screed of yorus seldom exceeds slander and fabrications.”
“You hypocrits always talk about being anti-sectarian but you are self-righteous social chauvinistis!”
“You just had to slide your own rude little dog turd in there two days later eh? Really probably one of the shittiest things that’s been said.”
“Once upon a time, there was a website called Hexbear. It was a place where a bunch of stinky doodoo heads got together to complain about things. All this complaining made them hungry but they only ever ate ass, so they were very malnourished.”
“Am I an ML? An anarchist? Who cares, I just wanna grill (the rich)”
“I’m ready to believe all kinds of slander about americans, but surely you aren’t trying to tell me that they haven’t invented the wheel yet.”
“Yeah, extremist political instances like hexbear.net and Lemmygrad.ml are killing Lemmy.”
“I tried touching grass once and the grass didn’t even try and start a pointless argument with me. Grass needs to log on and touch keyboard”
“The franchise wars of 2023 started when Jimmy Johns called Wendy’s cringe and Wendy’s responded with a soyjak, eventually leading to the nuclear exchange between the USA and China in 2024”
“Rest in peace taglines: 07.13.2023 - 07.14.2023.”
“The Chernobyl of Irony Poisoning (Disclaimer: I don’t actually mean this, I’m just very irony poisoned.)”
“Home of /s”
“Eat my whole ass hexbear, I’m not going to hitch my ride to this shit because it tripped half way into making a good point with some vaguely sucdem rhetoric. Most boring movie I’ve seen in theaters. 3+ hours of diahrrea o stg if i see another post praising this movie I’m going to eat my shit. Shape the fuck up, this movie sucks.”
“I appreciate the distinct lack of hexgoons on this post.”
“The franchise wars of 2023 started when Jimmy Johns called Wendy’s cringe and Wendy’s responded with a soyjak, eventually leading to the nuclear exchange between the USA and China in 2024”
“at 4am I came across someone violently hacking away at a grassy area on my block with a shovel. He was stealing the grass, scooping up the contents into grocery bags. As he saw me he scurried away with his bags of grass. The area is now a hole of dirt.”
“:officer-down:”
“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of Balenciaga”
"Remembering today a trip to NYC my family made in 2000-ish and I saw one of the doormen of a building sitting outside reading an Everquest Ruins Of Kunark strategy guide. "
“Marx failed to consider that when it isn’t observed, surplus value acts as a wave - but when it is observed, it acts as a particle.”
“The sharp rise in Violent/Aggressive Discourse in the Extreme Left is an artifact of the inclusion of Hexbear.net. The amount of history that can be collected from Hexbear right now is minimal”
“We fight the woke in the posts. We fight the woke in the comments. We fight the woke in the users, we will never ever surrender to the woke mob. Hexbear.net is where woke goes to die.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Always get the interior ministry post.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never go to a second location.”
“ok yeah fine I was on the extreme side of the line but I stand by the fact that these are intended as waifus and that consumption of anime girls turned nation state is, if nothing else, cringe.”
“Wanna know a secret? Everyone on this site is a liberal, except for you. ;)”
“WARNING: Some viewers may find this content to be cringe. Viewer discretion is advised.”
“As one of the very few people on this site who genuinely roots for Biden, it is my belief that Biden is going to keep failing upwards and despite every attempt to stifle it, will accidentally turn America into a re-vitalized, progressive nation with strong social welfare. (This may sound absurd, but I have a whole set of reasonings and indicators supporting this that are too long to elaborate here)”
“Defederation should only be considered as a last resort, however we made the decision to preemptively defederate from Hexbear.”
“Police arrested a Ukrainian national and charged him with drunk driving after he had crashed his car into a lightpole. The man had no ID on him but when searching the car the police found a Ukrainian driver’s license issued to Boris Johnson, featuring a photo of the disgraced British leader and an expiration date in the year 3000.”
“UFO people, who are right down there with bicyclers and vegans in the groups that the fancy people really enjoy dumping on, were right and that the fancy people were wrong.”
“If you side with Maoist, Dengist, Xiist China and not with the Leninist, Stalinist Soviet Union or Hoxhaist Albania, it is clear to everyone you are a fucking enemy of the people who will be shot. Let me remind you that THIS IS CLASS WAR!?”
“Struggle session planned for Thursday: Beans”
“Hexbear.net is beyond political. Hexbear.net is a cultural, paradigm shift. Hexbear.net is the end times. Hexbear.net is the apocalypse. Hexbear.net is the universe collapsing in on itself and then erupting into a new big bang, spewing out different laws of physics, different laws of POSTING. And I’ll tell you what: it’s been one of the pleasures of my life posting alongside you sexy motherfuckers.”
“My uncle works at Hexbear and he told me you can find Mew under the ‘PPB’ link at the bottom of the page”
“seemingly i have a much lower level of self restraint + dignity”
“officially approved by will menaker”
“mr trump, your fired sir”
“It’s really incredible how many savage assholes there are on hexbear.net. My theory is they’re bots designed to encourage engagement by enraging us. It’s pretty effective.”
