Your diet of fried food and supplements is making you hallucinate. In a vision, Pepe the Frog dances around you. He approaches, holding a moonshine martini. Roll a 7 or higher: If you succeed, take a +1 Prize Card. If you fail, confess to Pepe that you love fucking your wife and lose -1 Prize Card.
Card 2
You find an unused vial of Hillary Clinton’s adrenochrome on the floor. Gain +1 Health.
Card 3
Once again, you have been silenced! Big tech and their demon-rat allies have conspired to ban your social media account. If you have ever been banned froma social media site, gain +1 Health.
Card 4
As you scour the floor for lottery tickets, you come across a pipe bomb! Despite its phallic shape, you immediately hurl yourself onto it. Roll a 7 or higher: If you succeed, you crush the bomb and save the day. Everyone is safe. If you fail, every Patriot in your wing loses -1 Health. Talk about a hurt locker!
Card 5
After four years of accusing every famous person of being a Satanic pedophile, you begin to suspect the same of your closest allies. All Patriots must roll a single die. The highest roll wins the pedophile battle royale, beating the accusations and taking +1 Prize Card fromeach Patriot. Incaseof tie, roll until a winner is decided.
Card 1
Card 2
Card 3
Card 4
Card 5
Card 6: you taser yourself in the balls and die
There’s probably a card for this. The website says that there are 125 Event cards in total.
“Go Touch Grass” card!