So. Without trauma dumping, I’ll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What’s a father’s day gift that says “you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay”?

  • Zozano@aussie.zone
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    6 months ago

    Hey OP.

    As someone with a shit Dad, I can say that this is not the right way to think about it.

    At the risk of sounding like an armchair psychologist, it sounds like you’re not necessarily doing this out of spite, as much as you are trying to communicate your feelings to him.

    Here’s the thing though, being a shit Dad means he probably doesn’t have enough consideration needed to read between the lines.

    As others have said, if you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t need to ask, and you wouldn’t get him anything.

    The fact that you’re thinking about what gift sends the right message tells me that you’re trying to reach out to him.

    It’s regrettable that some people will never be receptive to the idea that they fucked up as a parent.

    The only thing you really have control of at the end of the day is how you act.

    Don’t be like him.

    • half coffeeOP
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      6 months ago

      It’s more that I’m just giving my mom a bit of time to deal with a big crisis in her life before I rip the bandaid off and go mostly no-contact with my dad. He really weaponizes my mom’s emotions, so I’m doing this more for her than for him.

      But yeah, he’s a classic narcissistic parent. If I actually told him how I felt, he would spend the rest of his life being the victim.

      • Zozano@aussie.zone
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        6 months ago

        Do we share the same Dad lol.

        Whatever you do, just make sure you don’t compromise your integrity. Take care chief.